Hold Heart, Don't Beat So Loud. - Part Four: Ruby Woo To Asha's To Sea Shells

I went to bed right after getting out of my shower, dressing, and putting on my lotions; it felt very good. I felt very good. Khaled and I have been texting while I was having my hot bath, I got to know who he is a little; he's the youngest out of three brothers and one sister, Jasem and Fahad, his older brothers have been married for years and have children. His sister, Fatheela, is about to get engaged from a man she met in her university, and his parents, Amal and Ahmed are very proud of all of them. They seemed like an amazing family, and from what I've read through the messages, Khaled is very family oriented. Score, yeah? Definitely! I said that I'm going to bed, and he's more than welcome to call later on tonight to talk some more and get to know me... I didn't manage finishing the sentence before having him interrupt me and saying that he'd love to. He'd text before calling, just in case I was around my family or busy, respectful. I like... More scores! Rawan, my sister woke me up at around 7 and I started to get ready right away; I didn't know what to wear. A smart person would decide before sleeping, but nope; not me.

I grabbed my chair from the dressing table, placed it in front of my closet, opened the door of it to reveal all my wardrobe, and sat there wondering what on earth I should wear for this sort of get together while munching on a chocolate bar. Lazy, I was very lazy! Bleh... Didn't even feel like seeing anyone, I hated the slight headaches that came along right after waking up from these naps. I finally decided on wearing white jeans and a grey ruched necked top I bought from Top Shop last weekend, ''That would do.'' I thought. Then, I moved my chair back to the dresser and faced myself in the mirror, I've always hated this part. I chose a tinted moisturizer and applied it on my face, and some soft blush on to emphasize the cheek bones. I didn't need much coverage and I had to finish quickly, then came the muted blue-grey eye shadow with mascara. Finally, some daring Ruby Woo was smoothly applied on my lips. After the makeup, I wore my favorite pair of stud classic pearls and no other jewelery other than that. After getting ready for about twenty minutes, I tied my hair into a messy bun and wore Jimmy Choo's ecru caviar leather sandals.

I rushed downstairs after putting my phone in my back pocket to see my mother and Rawan sitting at the dinning room table having tea. Tea. Maku abrad? ''Why aren't you guys ready? They'll be coming any moment now!'' I practically screamed. I can't believe it, I thought I over slept and got ready really late while their Majesties were having tea. Tea. Moo min 9ijhum! ''No one's coming babe, I canceled. Dagaw 3alay il unit, I have to be heading there in an hour for my night rounds. Sorry I didn't tell you upstairs.'' My sister answered. I felt my nostrils flare, the clothes, the makeup, the hair and shoes... I wanted to grab the knife they used to cut the cake and slit my sister's throat right there! "It's fine, I was going to go to Dee's right after, I guess I'll be going now.'' I said, so calmly. 7aram, it wasn't her fault, why would I get mad over something that's not even worth it? I wasn't in the mood for the get together anyways. Not hearing a single word from my mother, I ran upstairs, grabbed my bag and keys, and quickly went to my car after taking the spare key of the house from the servant. I planned on staying out late tonight with Deena, keifi? Yeah.

I called Dee as I waited for the car to warm up, I offered to pick her up and head to Asha's for some delicious Indian Cuisine, our favorite. She agreed and I was at her house less than ten minutes later. ''I'm downstairs, quick! Me, food, eat!'' I screamed over the phone hysterically, she laughed and hung up. A minute later we drove all the way to Avenues, but the mall was obviously crowded from all the cars parked everywhere; but we didn't care, we needed food pronto! Right then, he sent me a message... Khaled. ''Mumkin adeg? :) I miss you already..'' was what I read on my screen. I miss you already?! Okay, need - to - breathe - and - find - a - chair... I passed my phone to Deena and she laughed so hard after reading it. Okay, not the reaction I was expecting. Was it too soon to say that he ''misses'' me? It put a little smile on my face though, and I replied by saying ''Already? ;p I'm at Avenues with my friend, of course you can call :)'' 3ashan to ease the tension, I felt awkward. Sent... Okay. Now. Waiting for him to call, we managed to reach Asha's and pass by the crowded areas, it was unbelievable how plenty the mall was. It was a Thursday night, so I wasn't very shocked. As soon as the waiter ushered us to our table at the back of the restaurant, we sat down and grabbed our menus without reading it, 7ifa9'naah! I was just about to start ordering when I started hearing ''Private Dancer'' by Danny Fernandez. Khaled was calling, I didn't have a ring tone for him yet, too soon. I care about little details.

''Hello?'' I answered. And we talked for a few minutes, he asked about what we were doing and when we got there, he also emphasized on the fact that it was crowded and he didn't want to be worried since Avenues was occupied by mostly the opposite sex... Bleh. Typical Kuwaiti behavior, but I liked the ''caring'', I missed it. So I promised I'd be leaving right after dinner and Deena and I would go somewhere else more quiet. He appreciated it, then the big shock. ''Erm... Would it be okay if I saw you for a few minutes before you head back home?'' He asked. Whoa... Ana hnee I opened my mouth and stared at Dee! Please tell me he's kidding, we just met! And he wants to meet up? ''Uhh, I don't know. We planned on staying up late together-'' ''Please? I want to see you.'' He interrupted, he's asking ever so nicely <3 My heart melted... ''We'll see, I'll call you as soon as we leave and we'll figure something out, just for a few minutes though. Yeah?'' I answered. ''Yup!'' Khaled said, he seemed so excited. We said our goodbyes three or four minutes later and I hung up. Dee and I talked about what just happened, she said she had a good vibe about Khaled, and she loves the fact that he made me smile all day.

Also, she complained about how long it has taken me to meet someone new, nearly two years since Abdulla. I felt a cloud of sadness lie on top of my head the moment she mentioned him, I hated talking about him and what we used to be. I hated the way he treated me and the attitude he always had. I hated how I had to change my whole life because of that one person, I hated him. But I loved him then, so much it tore me apart when I decided to leave him for good. He expressed how sad he was, he even cried that night pleading for another chance to treat me right, and to make the relationship work. But I couldn't handle it anymore, I wanted out. And I got out. I left him that night, and I never heard from him ever since. I deleted all his numbers, messages and emails. But I left one thing that I just couldn't get rid of, it held so many memories and emotions. I wasn't strong enough, but maybe soon, I'll have a pretty good reason to have it in the trash... Maybe. I blocked all thoughts about Abdulla and continued eating my dinner.

Who was I kidding? I was distracted the entire time, did I miss him? No. Never. We payed the bill and walked out of the restaurant; on our way to the car, I called Khaled. It was 9.30 PM, too early to drop Deena home, ma shiba3t minha. So I told him we're going for a stroll by the beach and I'd be taking Deena back home at around 10-ish. He offered to meet up at the same place, the beach. Good, I didn't want to sit and face him, what if I ran out of things to say? Or what if HE ran out of things to say? No. Walking beside the water would be good, at least there wouldn't be any silence. I loved the sounds of the waves crashing on the rocks and splashing my feet anyway, so that was that. A few minutes later, I hugged Dee good night and asked her to have brunch at my place tomorrow, she loved the idea. Now, I was heading back to the beach, I sent Khaled a message saying specifically where to go and that I'm on my way; ''Inshalla, I'll be there in less than five minutes :*'' was what I received just seconds later.

Someones too excited, ey? I felt a rish of guilt crossing me, why was I having an attitude about it? He's a really nice guy, open and funny. Makes me smile. But I couldn't just give him the benefit of the doubt, I needed to know him more, to find out what sort of a person he is. I hoped that this 'whatever it is' that's happening tonight would reveal something, inshalla; I parked the car by the benches just as Jason Mraz ended his ''I'm Yours''. One of my favorites <3 I could see him. Standing right by the sea. Pants folded upwards away from the water. His physique... Lovely. I smiled, surprisingly, I didn't feel nervous, I didn't feel like having a hippopotamus being thrown at me, I didn't feel like running on the highway so the closest truck would kill me. Surprisingly, I wanted to go straight to him. Surprisingly, I loved this new feeling. Even though it was the first day still, but it didn't feel that way. I left my phone in the car, I didn't want to be answering any one's calls; okay. This is new... I quietly started approaching him and as if he felt my presence, he turned around and those dimples appeared, even though it was dark. He looked amazing; wearing a pair of grey Abercrombie and Fitch and a plain black t-shirt, he does work out. A little giggle came out of me, and he laughed, assuming I was nervous. If only he knew how comfortable this felt... Bas I was determined not to share that little info. thinking he might have adrenaline kick in him and he'd make a run to his car leaving me feeling like a total poop.

Nope. Staying quiet.

I slipped off my Choos and we started walking on the cold sand, Khaled talked about where he studied, he had a year left at AUK, double majoring in Finance and Marketing. He explained how life has treated him while he studied there, the people he met, the friends who were always there and his plans after graduation. His face lit up regardless of the dark, the moonlight was shining very bright on us, and I could see that his ambitions were big. I loved that about a man, it was a very attractive quality that I'd notice right away, I respected Khaled. As we were walking side by side, he grabbed my hand gently and kept it in his. I died and became alive at that very second... His hand - even though it was warm - sent shivers down my spine, his touch was soft and delicate, like he was very careful not to brake me. He looked down on my face and tried to see if I minded, I didn't. I let him. I LET HIM! I wanted to talk about something, Gust, Deena, the fucking fish, but no. Nothing came out of my mouth, it was like my mind took a little break to chill after functioning for a really long time? ''Wagta?!'' I yelled to myself in the inside.

But shockingly, the silence wasn't at all uncomfortable, in fact, I liked it. Khaled and I didn't stop walking, and when we reached to a stop, we turned around and headed back to where we began. It took us around thirty minutes to get there, it was starting to get really late; I had to go home. But I wanted to stay! As if Khaled was reading my mind, he let go of my mind and looked at his watch, ''It's 11.20 Danah, don't you want to get back home?'' He asked. I loved the fact that he was worried, that I shouldn't be staying out too late, usually I hated the control men had over women no matter what the issue is about; but Khaled says it in a caring and respectful way, like I HAVE A CHOICE. Which really does make a difference to me, a pretty big one. I agreed, thanked him for a wonderful evening and apologised for not staying any much longer; he understood, he showed it. Kill me now. He's BBBerfect! Khaled passed the bag of sea shells we collected while strolling beside the cold water and held my Choos by his other hand as he walked me to my car.

He opened the door, and just before I stepped in, he stopped me. "Can you wait for a moment? Ma shiba3t minich.'' He said with a light sense of humour, ME TOO! I wanted to yell out! But I stayed quiet and looked at him. ''Bagoolich shay...'' he said as he was looking at me so intensely, he was serious. There's something, oh God. What was it? Did I do something wrong? Did I give a bad impression of who I really am? Was he fooled laman kina ib Fridays? Madree... A thousand questions were crashing into each other in my head, I even felt dizzy so I leaned against the cold car. The air was electrifying, he was closer to me, I knew he wouldn't lean in to kiss me, no sane Kuwaiti guy would do that min awal youm, he didn't seem the type. So I didn't budge away, I stayed right there where I was, and as if he wanted to prove me right, Khaled didn't make that move, thank Goodness.

TALK, DAMN IT. I was getting nervous as the seconds went by, I felt like they were hours. Turns out fee abrad min umi w Rawan, Khaled! He was quiet still, just looking at me, I had to look at the ground again, I started singing ''Comfort'' in my head! Wagta? Hello, I'm paradise. Mr. Marsha, sex on a satellite, what'cha know 'bout good weed and Gang's night? You won't stop, no brakes, no hazard light! See Im the rapper, and he's the dancer. And together, we are your comfort. Stupid song. Okay, I was losing it. Damn... Pedicure's ruined, mental note: As soon as you're back home, wash up and don't you dare go to bed without having them done again. Mu wagta? I know. I know. I shot him a -talk- look and he started talking... I wish he stayed quiet... He should have stayed quiet...

Goodnight.

N. Kk
xx