Hold Heart, Don't Beat So Loud - Part Six: She Shot The Bullet That Ended That Life. I Swear to You, The Pimp In Me Just Died Tonight.

I woke up to the loud noise of the hard working men and the construction occuring outside our house, was the sun up yet? The room was completely dark, no. There's still no sun. My body was in pain, I havent slept for more than four hours, I was contemplating going back to bed when I realised that there is absolutely no way I'd manage to go to sleep with all the construction going on. I grabbed my phone which was placed under my pillow, and looked at the number of calls and messages I wasn't able to hear while sleeping. Three calls from Khaled, two from Deena, and a few messages from other friends. Should I call Khaled now? It's still too early, the sun's still not up for crying out loud. I rested my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes, what will today bring? I had so many plans, not to mention studying for my Managerial Accounting midterm this coming week. Not one of the brightest thoughts you'd want to think of as soon as you woke up, nope.

My phone was vibrating, Khaled was calling. Wow. "Hello." My voice, barely a whisper, I couldn't manage to speak out loud, I just had no energy in me. "Intay weinich?! I've been calling you since last night! Why didn't you answer any of my calls? Baby, are you okay? Did something happen? Riday 3alay!" He screamed through the phone. I could imagine his face, the anger, the fear, the consideration. I laughed qiuetly, not quiet enough though, he defenitely heard the low giggles. "W ti9'7ikeen ba3ad?" He asked, Khaled obviously was reaching his boiling point, I had to start explaining. "7ayati I'm not laughing at you, it's just the I dozed off, I was too tired and exhaused to hear your calls, really. I just woke up, fee 3umaal yishta3'loun bara w gimt min il iz3aaj, I saw your calls but decided it was too early to call back, gilt adig 3aleik in a few hours." I explained. I heard his breathing, it was steady, inhaling and exhaling, he was calmer after listening to what I had to say. But he was quiet... "Khaled, shfeek? You okay? La t3a9ib 3aad, I just-" and he cut me off. "Moo m3a9ib Danah, why would I be mad? I was just worried about you, I didn't have any sleep, I was seriously considering passing by your place and seeing if your car is parked." He said.

I was melting under the sheets, privately, I thanked God for giving me the most caring person in the world, 5ayif 3alay. I said nothing. It was my time to be quiet, I just didn't know how to reply, it was overwhelming. Despite the amount of time I've known Khaled, all the good and bad times we've experienced and shared together, the arguments and the romance, I still cannot for the life of me start to get used to his treatment. It gets a little bit too much sometimes, he feeds me so much care and attention, I sometimes wonder whether I'm in a dream or not. I pinch myself at times and always tell myself that I'm exteremely lucky for a person like Khaled to be a significant part of my life. We closed the lousy subject, and talked about the events that will occur today. Hopefully, I'll have time to see him in between our busy schedules. He was planning on taking his mom for some last minute shopping since she was travelling to visit her sister abroad, and after that, the entire family were having dinner at Khaled's grandparents' house and spend the remaining of the day there. And if by any chance, he had the opportunity to leave early, we'll meet up.

I on the other hand, have to take care of some errands I've been too lazy to do the past two weeks. A presentation due three days from now didn't even start, that midterm I have absolutely no intentions of studying for, and buying a birthday gift for a friend of mine. Blehh.. We'll figure something out. We always do. From his low and sleepy voice, I could feel the warmth radiating even through the phone. How could someone I know so little about, someone I've met not long ago, seems to have this kind of strong effect on my being? Khaled was most probably the only person who has the ability to uplift my mood in just a few seconds, no matter how small or big the problem I'm facing is. He's the first person I think of calling and asking for help everytime I try so hard to overcome an obstacle. His patience, understanding, and wisdom make their way into my mind and assist me in any way possible, he makes me feel better by his words and actions. Without him, I'd be lost.

It's just incredible, we just met. It hadn't been long at all. We ended up closing the phone at around 9 AM. Khaled needed three hours of sleep, so we decided that I'd wake him up by the time he had to pray the afternoon. Then, he'd start his day with his mother. In those three hours, I was able to start and finish my presentation. Thank Goodness, it didn't require alot of my time and effort since it wasn't the main presentation I had to do for the course, it consisted of 20 slides and information about e.e. cummings for my Literature class. As soon as I finished, I poured myself the third cup of coffee I needed that morning, caffiene was the only thing keeping me awake and alert. I myself, was too tired as well. Just as I held the cup close to my lips to sip some coffee, my phone ringed out loud, Deena.

Me: What's happening?
Deena (half asleep): yo, someone's up. Whatcha doin'?
Me: Yeah, just working on my assignment. Why are you still in bed? Don't you have to take Boss to the vet?
Deena: Mom took him this morning, apparently, he has a flue.
Me: Urgh, I don't know how you put up with that cat. He's as big as my pillow.
Deena (defensively): Hey! Don't say thata 'bout him, besides, mom's thinking of giving him away to one of my sorry excuse of cosines.
Me: God bless yo mama.
Deena: Oh shut up, I wanna go walking. Come with?
Me: I have to study, D.
Deena: Come on now, study later, we'll walk for an hour, then you could head back home to finish up studying.

I didn't need alot of convincing, she managed to do the job in two minutes, I hung up promising to be at her place in 20 minutes. By the time I'm there, it would be 12 and I'd wake Khaled up. Good. I washed up, wore my pink A&F shorts, a plain white top, and no make up. I grabbed my keys, wallet, phone and Pumas to wear downstairs.

20 minutes later, I was outside waiting for Deena to come out. It's just amazing, the amount of time she needs to dress to go walking, for real? You get used to it. Meanwhile, I held up my phone to call Khaled. It ringed three times before he picked it up.

Khaled: Hmm...
Me (screaming): Wake up! It's 12! You're gonna be late for your mom!
Khaled (laughing): Is this the only way to wake me up? Why don't you say cute stuff like "yalla 7ayati, goom galbi, warak wayed ashya2 tsaweeha, yalla 7abeebi inta"?
Me (shame written on my forehead): Because I'm not like that, plus you're not gonna wake up, but act all lazy and I'd have to a7in 3aleik 3ashan tgoum until I run out of cute words to say to you.
Khaled: Haha inzein 7ayati, kanee gimt. Weinich? Chinich bisayara, I thought you said you had stuff to study for.
Me: Yeah, I know. I finished that presentation I told you about, then Deena called saying she wants me to go walking with her. I'm outside her place right now.
Khaled (laughing): Walla hathy Deenouh 5arab, 5arab. Ma waraha ila ina twa5rich 3an derastich.

He knew she was my best friend, and I knew he was only joking about her being a bad friend. I laughed and talked to him until her majesty decided to leave her house and enter my car. She looked at me with a "You guys are unbelievable, twins seperated at birth! Hang up already" look. I teased her by flirting with Khaled, he understood where I was going and helped out to piss Deena off. Obviously, she got what we were trying to accomplish and just stared out to the street waiting for us to finish.

Khaled: She's mad, isn't she?
Me: Haha, you have to see how red her face is! Jealousy? Is that jealousy I see?

Deena looked straight at me with a look that indicated the last thing she'd feel at this moment is jealousy, it was more of the lines of disgust and horror. That made me laugh.

Khaled: 3ayal law tisma3 lashyaa2 ilee agoolich iyaha gabil ma inaam?
Me (blushing): Khaled, bas 3aad.

He was loving it. Deena wiggled her eyebrows knowing he was the reason I was blushing and started drawing hearts in the air. I slapped her hands and focused on what Khaled was saying again.

Khaled (teasing): Shfeech 7ayati? Tisti7een? Come on, we both know you're not this shy when we're alone.
Me: Ee, walking, then home to finish studying, what about you?
Khaled (laughing louder than earlier): You're so adorable when you're nervous. I can't wait to see you tonight baby. You're gonna know how much I'm missing you. I just can't wait.
Me (nervous and blushing even more): Inshalla, 5ala9 okay. I'll call you when I'm back home, no I won't take long.

Deena knew exactly what Khaled was doing, she just knew and started laughing so hard her eyes were filled with tears. That's when Khaled stopped, for my sake, and his saying that he couldn't control the way he's feeling and it's a good thing I'm not next to him right now. We said our goodbyes and I'll call you laters just before hanging up. And off we went. The weather was incredible, surprisingly. The sun was high up, but there was a light breeze that came along with it, we were beside the beach so the entire setting was just breath taking. Deena and I starting catching up since I haven't seen her in three days, which felt like a month to us. I told her the latest updates about Khaled, and my midterms. She complained about how gay guys are nowadays, and how hard it is to find a gentleman. I agreed on the most part, it really was a difficult task to meet a young man who didn't want to just get into your pants. But I didn't comment much about that because Khaled was in my life now, and she knew that perectly well. So she didn't just go on and on bitching about it.

I promised her that she'll find the right person for her eventually, she just had to wait and look at the right places. Deena was very responsible and careful when it came to meeting guys, she knew instantly whether the person who's trying to get to know her is a good guy with good intentions or a hound dog who wants nothing but something physical. It was like a sixth sense for her, and that's why it wasn't very easy being with a guy, she's only had one serious relationship in her life which lasted for four years but ended badly. Deena just started recovering from the break up that took place a little over a year and a half ago. She loved the young man completely, it was so unconditional, she allowed so many flaws and mistakes to happen along the course of the relationship. She proved to him, me, as well as herself how strong and loving she is by putting up with alot of his bullshit.

At times, I hated her for it, for allowing him to take advantage of her that way, he knew she had a white and kind heart, and he played around with it, grabbbed it, twisted it, bent it, stabbed it, and eventually threw it away. Finally, she was ablt to collect herself and manage to end the relationship, it was harming her emotinally, mentally, and even physically. During two occasions, I remember him slapping her across the face while arguing, I will never forgive him for that, and I hope he never forgives himself because of what he's done to her. But I knew, deep down, that she will meet someone who will sweep her off her feet and puts her in his heart, I just knew. And at times, she felt it too.

After our walk that lasted for an hour, we decided on buying Orange juices and head back to her place. The drive back home was mostly quiet with occasional singing out loud songs her and I both loved. I loved our times together, with her, I was able to just let go and enjoy the moments we were sharing. Our friendship was by far, one of the best things we've had our entire lives. 7imadt raby kil ma t'thakart hasha3'la.

A few hours later...

Khaled: I just parked, baby. Where are you?
Me: Just give me two minutes, 3end il ishara. Za7ma?
Khaled: No, I just see a couple walking, and a few children running around. It's safe.
Me: Good, it's a weekend, I figured there'd be more people around.
Khaled: Yeah, I guess everyone's at malls or the movies.

I parked my car right next to his, Khaled was waiting for me by the bench against the beach. And as soon as he spotted me, he rushed to my car and opened the door, I got out of the car and only managed to walk two steps before having him place his large arms around my relatively small waist. As a result, I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed in his scent. Beautiful. Long moments passed before he looked down at me, "Hey you." he whispered. My heart was defenitely skipping a few beats, it decided to play games on me, something it always manages to accomplish everytime I see Khaled. "Hey inta." I replied. He kissed my forehead and embraced me again.

We walked along the beach, the cold water splashing against our feet, he talked about how he sneaked out of his grandparents' gathering to rush over here. I laughed, but felt guilty for pulling him away from his family, I didn't want to be that kind of girl, who asks her boyfriend to leave his family obligations and responsibilities. Just today. He started teasing me about how much he had the urge to pick me up and throw me to the sea. I pulled away from him and ran ahead knowing that he'd do it, he laughed and started running to catch me. Eventually he did, and between the loud screams, laughs, and giggles, he grabbed me and picked me up with his arms and walking steadily to the water.

Khaled: Agi6ich?
Me (screaming): Ya weilik! Khaled bas! Il maay bared, stop. Please!!!!
Khaled (laughing and losing his grip so slowly): Oh come on, you'll love it, the colder, the better. I'll jump after you, and rescue you from the small fish! Okay?
Me: Noooooo!
Khaled: Please? Pretty please?
Me: No! (pulling his hair, or lack of... Damn it.)Let go of me or I'll start pinching your cheeks!

Right then, Khaled turned and placed me so gently on the sand, as I stood on the ground and managed to hold myself steady, he grabbed my waist again and looked down. Surprisingly, I was able to get the speed of my heart beat back to normal, not for long though...

Khaled: 5iftay 7ayati?
Me (pushing him away): Ee! Don't do that again!
Khaled (laughing and pulling me towards him): Haha you know I wouldn't throw you.

He looked straight into my eyes, and despite the darkness that filled the place, I still had the ability to get a hold of his gaze, the way he looked at me, it's not normal. The games my heart loved to play started again, holy shit. "Garbay." Khaled whispered. "Maby." I answered with a laugh to ease the tension and akwardness, "Please?" He asked. I got closer only to hear his breathing increasing its pace and his lips parting. Was he serious? Is it too soon? Did I even have the time to think it through and react to what he's doing? Apparently not.

He kissed me. I let him. Khaled kissed me and I let him. He held me even closer, wrapping his arms with more effort around my body, I lifted my arms and wrapped them just as hard above his shoulders. The kiss which started out as soft and gentle, became more and more demanding. He was demanding, not with words, but with what he's doing, and I let him. With both our eyes shut, we were transfered into a different place, a parallel universe where no one else existed but the two of us, I could feel his passion running through my veins, his power holding my body still. I wasn't able to move, I didn't want to. And finally, he just let go and pulled away a few inches from my face. With no words, he kissed my forehead again and we continued walking. Holding hands, fingers entwined.

To be continued...

P.S: I apologise if this post was a bit too R-rated, if it is, please let me know. So I won't go that far again, but I hope you enjoyed it.

Take it easy.

N. -Kk

xx