Hold Heart, Don't Beat So Loud - Part Eleven: There's One Way, One Way's Enough. Just Take The Highway To Love & You'll Be There.

Minutes later, I was on my way to meet Khaled in our usual location. I was nervous that he'd comment about my lime green dress, since it reached mid thigh. But that was the last thing on my mind at the moment. Norah was able to occupy my mind and she was the only person I could think about, memories of that nigth kept haunting me. But it's time to put my foot down, it's time to face her and demand an explanation; she obviously doesn't feel as guilty as she should. How could someone have the heart to do such things? And to not feel any guilt. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and minutes later, I reached the place. There he was, parked where he always parks and waited until I was next to him, that's why he got out of the car. I still hesitated about the dress, but there's no way out of it now. i slowly got out of the car and locked it, making my way to him.

"Yah.. Yah.. Sh'hazein? Shinu hatha? Kil hal libs wil kash5a 7agee? Ya ba5tee walla!" Khaled said with a little to much exaguration in his tone, he's sweet. I smiled to him and opened my arms as I saw his welcoming me with a hug that promised warmth. I felt slightly better knowing that he'd be my shoulder to cry on and the ear I need to talk my heart out. We talked for a minute or two asking eachother about how our day was, then he grabbed my hand and ushered me to the tip of the beach where we sat. Soft chilly breezes turned into stronger ones and we felt the temperature drop a few degrees. Khaled took his jacket off and placed it on my legs, "I know how cold your legs and feet feel, babe." He said with a smile. I don't recall ever telling him that despite of it being true; I guess he just knows me too well. "Thanks, you're right. It's getting cold." and at that moment he slipped his arm around me and rubbing it upwards and downwards to warm me up. "So tell me, what's bothering you?" I looked at his face questionably. I didn't know if I should tell him, I contemplated about it. This is such a beautiful night, and sitting with him hear is so perfect. Did I want to ruin that? But I'm so tired of Norah and all the problems she's dragging with her into my world.

Knowing that Khaled wouldn't just give up and let go of it, I started speaking. "There are a few things I need to tell you, you're not going to like them, I assure you. But it's time you know something important about my past, Khaled. You can stop me whenever you want to, but I'd rather you wouldn't because talking to you about this is going to be hard. I'm scared you're going to judge me because of what I've done and maybe lose what we have, but I believe that honesty is the most imortant factor in a relationship so you'll have to listen and-" Khaled interupted me. "Danah, Danah... You're scaring me. OK? Just say what you need to say already, I promise I won't do any judging and I'll be patient until you're done. Just talk to me baby, let it out." he answered as he rubbed the back of my neck with his hand reassuring me. My mind went into a trance, and all of a sudden, I was back...


Ten Months Ago

I recieved a text message from Jasem that morning asking me to meet him at his chalet. After buying a few movies and junk food, he said that we had the entire day for ourselves. I've been with Jasem for three years and he never disrespected me or my honour in any way. Regardless of the fact that he's open minded and that he'd been physical with his past girlfriends, he never tried pushing me to that direction and I appreciated his effort. I always beleived that sex is an experience you share with a husband, as opposed to a boyfriend. It's the most intimate thing you may have with someone that you love, and I knew I loved Jasem and trusted him with my life. But I made the decision and promised myself to wait until we plan our lives together and get married. Driving to his chalet, I stopped and filled my tank with gas. That's when I got another message from Norah, one of my best friends.

"Hey babe. Look, I need a huge favor! I wouldn't ask if it wasn't so urgent. Can you pass by my house? There's a blue jumpsuit on my bed that I need. I'm in Ghala's beach house."

She can't be serious... Being her best friend, I felt like I had to take the next U-Turn and drive to her house. I'd be mad with her later since she ruined my plans with my boyfriend. I dialed Jasem's number to ask him that I'd be a little late. He understood and asked me to take as much time as I needed, he'd be waiting for me.

"So while you're doing that, I'm going to swim for a while, I'm leaving my phone in the house, la wi9altay just come in. Maku a7ad."

So just like Norah asked me, I went over to her place and up her room since no one was in the house but the servants, grabbed her jumpsuit and ran down to my car again. By the time I left Norah's neighbourhood, she sent me a msg asking where I was. Radeit 3aleiha..

"Omw to Ghala's.. Bgara I hate you, I made plans with Badoor! You OWE me, hoe!"

And a minute later she replied saying how much she loved me. I smiled at her msg and right then, my phone switched off. Great. Perfect timing. After dropping Norah's clothes at Ghala's, I started driving to the chalet again, by that time, 7adee ti3abt and I needed to rest, but I'd do that when I arrive at the chalet. Ghala's house was empty, so I quickly assumed that she and Norah were still out and haven't arrived yet, Norah's car was parked in Ghala's spot. I huffed and puffed thinking about the long drive to the chalet, but remembering that Jasem was waiting for me made me feel better. I loved this man so much, his ambition in working hard and trying to become financially stable made me proud of him. He brings up marriage and having ten kids only every single time I talk to him, Jasem isn't scared of commitment, because he believes that once you find the right person, you're going to want to be with him or her for the rest of your life. Finally, I arrived. I unlocked the car, got out and stepped on the sand and made my way to the door.

As I opened it, I noticed that towels and swimming shorts were scattered on the floor down the hall way. He must've had his friends over last night or something, I thought. Then I noticed something else, something small with srtings. Something red. Something that belonged to a female. My mind started thinking of as many explanations to what I'm seeing, but nothing rational made me feel at ease. I felt perspiration soaking my shirt and I realized how nervous I am. I heard a voice upstairs, I breathed in a long and steady breath, and started going up to the first floor. First room to my right. Just a few steps away. I walked, growing even more nervous with each step. The door was partially open, I grabbed the handle and pushed it to walk in the room. I saw the person the red bikini downstairs belonged to, and I saw the person my heart belonged to.

Jasem was on top of someone. A woman. Jasem was having sex with someone.

"Jasem..." I heard my voice. It was barely a whisper.

Jasem drew back from her and turned to look at me, lifting the sheets to cover himself.

That's when I saw who he was sharing his bed with.

I couldn't believe what I saw. Could this really be happening? My boyfriend, I started screaming her name, surprising myself that I had more rage and anger towards her than towards Jasem. She quickly pulled up the white sheets to cover her naked body as well. I grabbed her by her hair and pulled her out of the bed, not caring that there was noting covering her now. I pushed her as she screamed saying how sorry she is, I looked back and Jasem was still in bed, not moving, the shock covering his face. He couldn't even say a word. I reached to the necklace he bought me two years ago and ripped it from around my neck, throwing it at him. She saw what I did and started crying, "I didn't know... I didn't... Danah I'm so sorry-" I stopped her with a slap on her face, I just couldn't tolerate anymore. She fell back, and knocked her head on the wall. It was fast, and it was hard. Her eyes were closed now.

I ran to my car, ignoring Jasem's loud calls. I started the ignition and reversed, leaving his chalet. I was never going to come here again. Driving back home, not a single tear fell down my face, I held myself strong and managed to control my emotions. I was hurt, so hurt and betrayed that I was in no state to shed a tear, which was very surprising to me. Three years of being commited to Jasem, a fraud, a lying scum bag. How could someone be so heartless?

How could Norah be so heartless?

Carpe Diem, this is for you!

Goodnight

N.-Kk