Part IV... What to say...? just cant seem to put them in words, I can't seem to write them down. And having the events of today doesn't help me, no. So much drama, I just wanted to grab a pen and jab it into my head!
Bleh... Abi youm yimer where I could just wake up, get dressed, go to school, ATTEND ALL OF MY CLASSES, come back home, and just have a quiet day. No. 'Cause good things never happen to me. Emo much? *Sharp blade cutting, cutting, cutting wrists* Not really. Lol. Shda3wa? Shit. Anyways, wei3 I could be so random at times. I'm in bed right now, got my Algebra homework next to me, my phone off, and good mellow music to keep me in the mood. Got a long day tomorrow starting from 8 AM, I still didn't straighten my hair, got non of the homework done, thanks. And I just remembered I've got a quiz for a whole chapter, BBerfect, yeah? Just. Fucking. Lovely. Ms. Q and Mr. Mi are talking online right now, they don't have each other on their lists, so I make a three way 3ashan ysoulfoon, add each other? Shit. No. Lazim through me, I don't even know what they're talking about. *Minimizes window and sees their supposedly lame conversation*. Wow. No, this is just too funny. No, lame. Just lame. Let me copy and paste the conversation, yeah? So all of you can enjoy this.
Mr. Mi: Yeah, hold your pee. It helps, like for the future you exercise your muscle, so that when you gettin' it on, it sorta like wraps tighter... can't sensor it in anyways.
Ms. Q: lol yeah.
Mr. Mi: You got questions? I got answers shoooot, they dun teach this stuff in kuwait
Ms. Q: All my questions have been answered, I asked my mother everything when I was at my curious age. She never lied, God bless her, internet helped with the rest lol
Mr. Mi: Damn... Cool Momz.
Then they start talking about how Internet is a good way to learn about ''hasuwalif''...
Ms. Q: Also I'm a bit of a pervert so i researched stuff bout both genders
Mr. Mi: Wow theres more of us.... Welcome
And after that, they went along talking about how much of a nerd I am because I've got class at 8 AM tomorrow, and Ms. Q has a class with me at 3.30 PM, only. That's her only class tomorrow, wei3? Inzein, wei3. By the way, you'd THINK that they know each other min ziman, since they're talking about pee, tampons, and sex educations. No, they don't. Barely. We went walking a couple of times before, but that was it. 3araft'hum 3ala ba3a9', and they met twice. And now, their first conversation online? They talk about this... Nice, yeah? They're just so cute.
So I just wanted to put up this post, I felt like it? Bas, no reason. I'm bored...
Tomorrow, How It All Started - Part IV! I promise ;D
Goodnight.
P.S: I don't have anything to say.
N. Kk
xx
Monday, March 16, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Ms. Q, Where Would I Be Without You?
Another long day.
I really think there should be more hours in a day, 24 is barely enough to get everything done! Don't you think? Of course you don't. You're probably reading this thinking I'm a psycho. So I woke up this morning at around 10.30, that's when I had my alarm set, I called Ms. Q to see when she was coming. That woman was in a good mood, and I wasn't. I can't remember how the conversation went along exactly, but I think I have a good enough idea.
Ms. Q: Hello?
Me: Weinich?
Ms. Q: Out, what's up?
Me: Nothing, in bed. When are you going to be here?
Ms. Q: What? -Pretending like she's not listening to shit-
Me: La tista3bi6ein! Malee 5ilg (You all now that by now, I'm not a morning person)
Ms. Q: *laughs* Soon, why?
Me: So I'd know when to get out of bed?
Ms. Q: Oh.. In about an hour.
Me:...
And I think I hanged up on her. We're like that, me and Ms. Q. I love you.
She called me about an hour later to say she was on her way, after laying down for a few more minutes feeling more lazy than ever, I got up and made my way to the bathroom to wash up; telling myself to prepare for a long day of hard work. Not really? Lol. 5 minutes later, after applying on my daily UV moisturiser, I wore my favorite pair of jeans, a blue & white stripped cardigan. Quickly wore my tiny red earrings, and red ballerinas. No make-up. Thanks. Kilish mu maal 6al3a shakly, but frankly, I didn't give two poops. Rafa3t my hair into a messy bun, wore my Ray Bans and rushed downstairs since Ms. Q was calling like crazy. Rikabna isayara, not knowing where we're going. We were both hungry, maleina min Starbucks since we practically eat from there everyday bijam3a; but because we were too tired and bad-mood-ed to think of a suitable place, we ended up in Starbucks - Jabiriya. This is what happened while Starbucks was just a few coffee places away... Ms. Q was driving, yeah?
W laman garabna and I spotted a place where she could park, I pointed to its direction. Shitsawee? She doesn't stop, kamilat! Ee leish? 3'a9ib niz7af min awal ishaari3? No. She didn't even stop there. Thanks. Ana saakta, I just had the ''Wtf are you doing?'' look on my face, that was enough. Gabil ma t6ig foug ta7at she just started laughing, ''You okay? Dude, there was a perfect spot right there! You missed it!'' And just right then, I turned to see a women in her Tawareq take it. Wow. BBBerfect. Lovely. Ms. Q obviously changed her mind, and didn't even bother sharing her plans on where she was heading. ''Let's go to Adailiya. Yeah? Why not? Ma warana shay, and I wanna find a husband.'' Lol she's like that Ms. Q, so random at times. So we headed there, and on the way driving around the area, we admired the wide streets and beautiful homes with their architecture. We loved looking at houses, they were just beautiful. Gay much? We were just in that quiet mood, is all. No harm in that.
It was much better than fighting, me and Ms. Q fight on a daily bases, what about? I swear to God, real random shit that sound so lame if I mention them now. I will in my posts later on, I promise. *Takes a mental note to write about a certain incident that was funny between Ms. Q and I*. Again, we argued about different parking spots, lazim lazim... And when we finally parked, 6ila3na and made our way to one of the many branches of Starbucks in Kuwait. Our favorite <3 color="#ff6666">friend. Now, we're closer than ever. We have our own group, our own friends. And even though I love them (Kitten & Aj. more than anyone else), Ms. Q knows me gabil and knows the shit I went through. She gets me. She's my homey <3 color="#ff6666">I love you, Ms. Q.
;*
P.S: How It All Started - Part IV will be posted soon.
Thanks. Sweet dreams!
N. Kk
xx
I really think there should be more hours in a day, 24 is barely enough to get everything done! Don't you think? Of course you don't. You're probably reading this thinking I'm a psycho. So I woke up this morning at around 10.30, that's when I had my alarm set, I called Ms. Q to see when she was coming. That woman was in a good mood, and I wasn't. I can't remember how the conversation went along exactly, but I think I have a good enough idea.
Ms. Q: Hello?
Me: Weinich?
Ms. Q: Out, what's up?
Me: Nothing, in bed. When are you going to be here?
Ms. Q: What? -Pretending like she's not listening to shit-
Me: La tista3bi6ein! Malee 5ilg (You all now that by now, I'm not a morning person)
Ms. Q: *laughs* Soon, why?
Me: So I'd know when to get out of bed?
Ms. Q: Oh.. In about an hour.
Me:...
And I think I hanged up on her. We're like that, me and Ms. Q. I love you.
She called me about an hour later to say she was on her way, after laying down for a few more minutes feeling more lazy than ever, I got up and made my way to the bathroom to wash up; telling myself to prepare for a long day of hard work. Not really? Lol. 5 minutes later, after applying on my daily UV moisturiser, I wore my favorite pair of jeans, a blue & white stripped cardigan. Quickly wore my tiny red earrings, and red ballerinas. No make-up. Thanks. Kilish mu maal 6al3a shakly, but frankly, I didn't give two poops. Rafa3t my hair into a messy bun, wore my Ray Bans and rushed downstairs since Ms. Q was calling like crazy. Rikabna isayara, not knowing where we're going. We were both hungry, maleina min Starbucks since we practically eat from there everyday bijam3a; but because we were too tired and bad-mood-ed to think of a suitable place, we ended up in Starbucks - Jabiriya. This is what happened while Starbucks was just a few coffee places away... Ms. Q was driving, yeah?
W laman garabna and I spotted a place where she could park, I pointed to its direction. Shitsawee? She doesn't stop, kamilat! Ee leish? 3'a9ib niz7af min awal ishaari3? No. She didn't even stop there. Thanks. Ana saakta, I just had the ''Wtf are you doing?'' look on my face, that was enough. Gabil ma t6ig foug ta7at she just started laughing, ''You okay? Dude, there was a perfect spot right there! You missed it!'' And just right then, I turned to see a women in her Tawareq take it. Wow. BBBerfect. Lovely. Ms. Q obviously changed her mind, and didn't even bother sharing her plans on where she was heading. ''Let's go to Adailiya. Yeah? Why not? Ma warana shay, and I wanna find a husband.'' Lol she's like that Ms. Q, so random at times. So we headed there, and on the way driving around the area, we admired the wide streets and beautiful homes with their architecture. We loved looking at houses, they were just beautiful. Gay much? We were just in that quiet mood, is all. No harm in that.
It was much better than fighting, me and Ms. Q fight on a daily bases, what about? I swear to God, real random shit that sound so lame if I mention them now. I will in my posts later on, I promise. *Takes a mental note to write about a certain incident that was funny between Ms. Q and I*. Again, we argued about different parking spots, lazim lazim... And when we finally parked, 6ila3na and made our way to one of the many branches of Starbucks in Kuwait. Our favorite <3 color="#ff6666">friend. Now, we're closer than ever. We have our own group, our own friends. And even though I love them (Kitten & Aj. more than anyone else), Ms. Q knows me gabil and knows the shit I went through. She gets me. She's my homey <3 color="#ff6666">I love you, Ms. Q.
;*
P.S: How It All Started - Part IV will be posted soon.
Thanks. Sweet dreams!
N. Kk
xx
Friday, March 13, 2009
How It All Started - Part III
That was that, I thought that it was all over. That I wouldn't be talking to him again. That we'd erase each other's numbers, that he'd stop looking at me at Gust, that he'd stop talking about me and asking Sn. questions, that I'd stop feeling the way I feel. I was very wrong...
When I'd go to the university and walk from class to class or during my breaks to get my usual Black Americano, I'd see him... Him. He always looks amazing, wearing casual clothes - jeans and a top. But I never cared about his clothes, I'd instantly look at his face, he'd be smiling or having that ''serious'' face. As soon as he'd look into my direction, I'd look away and pretend like I'm doing something useful. Shit, I hate it when he sometimes catches me looking in his direction. But the good thing is, he never actually saw me looking AT HIM! How so? I'll explain it now. I don't remember how it all began again, us talking. But it did. And my heart would beat so fast, I was starting to have feelings for him, for this person who's a complete stranger to me, this person who has a GIRLFRIEND! I knew it was wrong, I felt it every time he looked at me; but for some reason, I didnt stop having those feelings, and the sad part is, they grew more and more every day, I'd get attached every day. I didn't have to spell it out for him, I didn't have to yell it out, I might as well just wear a shirt that says ''Pick Me. Choose Me. Love Me.'' from Grey's Anatomy! Might as well...
But I'd deny every feeling I had towards him, I'd pretend to be strong, and not a little girl who can have her heart easily broken. No. I was tough. But I couldn't stay away... Moo ma3nata ga6eit roo7y, la never. Not with him. I kept my distance, I'd erase his msgs and his number every time I felt like texting. Sometimes, I'd write a really long message, talking about everything in me, and sometimes about stuff that happen to me during the day, things I wanted to share with him, my dreams, what I wanted to do in life. But I wouldn't send it. Desperate? Sad? Pathetic? I know. I know. But I'm positive many of you acted the same way when you were starting to get crazy about someone. Come on, you know it. You know it. One day, I was at my usual spot again drinking my Americano, and I get a msg... ''Why do you not smile? When you look at me, I want you to smile.'' Seriously? Awal shay, everyone knows I'm not a morning person, no one jokes around when I'm close before 11 am. No one screams out loud laman I'm there, no one y5afif dama when I'm there, and no one tries to fucking piss me off when I'm there. Not. Before. 11 am. And what does kk do?
At 9.30, he sends that msg. Big mistake pal. Big mistake. How the fuck do you expect me to smile? To pretend that I'm okay knowing you're with someone else and you're happy? Are you even happy? Really? No, I don't care, it's non of my business. Or is it? I felt like I just wanted this person to be happy, to be comfortable, to wake up every morning knowing he's gonna have an ''OK'' day. But I didn't wanna interfere. Plus, why should he care whether I smiled or not? Dude, we're not friends, we're nothing. Shakoo I smile? Fuck. I remember I had a really bad headache that morning, and just when I felt the caffeine kicking in, just when I felt the bits and pieces of my headache leaving my temple... They came back. The bits and pieces came back. Thanks. I read the msg, twice actually, and locked my phone just before putting it back down on the table. I didnt reply. He could see me, he was sitting inside at North while I was sitting outside, and you couldnt see the people inside sitting because of your reflection. ''A7san.'' I thought, I didn't wanna see him. I put my head down on the cold table and closed my eyes for a few seconds, just before I got another msg.
Please don't let it be him. Please, God. It was him. Such a shitty morning, I knew this would be a bad day. I just knew it. ''The way you look at me, I feel like I'm not even human.'' 8a9da inee ma3abra laman ymer witha a9lan shifta, a36eeh na9'raat wa95a. Leish? 7mara? Shakoo? I don't. You just think that way. I wish I could've told him that. I wish... But no. ''I'll smile.'' was what I said. And so, while I was walking back in with two of my friends, I looked at him. He had that look that said ''I'm waiting for a smile.'' I smiled, half a smile. I couldn't have a big ass smile on my face, I just couldn't. Less than a minute later, ''Lol. Cute. Keep it up.'' was on my screen. Really? I was wondering how deep the water fountain was. Agi6 roo7y? Madri, la next time. I'll save the humiliation for another time. Thanks. Nothing happened after that. Not for a few days atleast. And then came the unexpected. ''We broke up.''... I was having a break after a couple of my classes, it was a slow day. While enjoying my Americano and the chit chats with my friends, I got that msg; it schocked me. It really did. Wow. Kk and his girlfriend? Over? How? Why?
They've been together for almost four years wibyoum w leila they broke up? My Goodness... ''What? What happened? was my reply. So he explained it all to me, how she gave up on him, how they were both sick of their daily arguments about the most random and lame excuses. They both didnt wanna tolerate anymore, but breaking up wasnt a choice for him. He was like that, Kk. He was strong, he was in a committed relationship, it was like a marriage to him. A promise he didnt wanna break, that he'd stay with her forever, that he'd protect her and be by her side. But apparently, she wasnt as tough. And she didnt want to be. She left him. We talked that day, I was trying to show some support, I was trying to be there for him, to make him feel better. He was just so depressed about the whole situation, I could hear how his voice shacked when he'd talk about her, I could feel the back of his eyes burning, the tears wanting to come out. But he held them in. He loved her. He loved her. And I was there for him, while he was talking about her. Why? Lazim a3awer galbi?
I'm trying to make him feel better even though I had very strong feelings for this person? No. Now wasnt the time to act selfish, now wasnt the time to show how I felt towards him. He just needed a friend, and I was willing to wait... So I listened. I became a friend. Because that's what he needed, a friend. I tried to make him forget, I'd talk about stuff that would lighten up his mood, things ''friends'' talked about, I'd joke around, and I'd smile when he joked around as well. I knew he was still hurt, gaalee mara months wont be enough to get over her. I knew that was true. It was a healing process, he needed to lick his wounds, and that needed time, yes. It was a healing process. I was willing to wait, to wait for him... Would it take me anywhere? Would it make me happy later on? Would the outcome be worth it? Was that even correct English? Madrii... 7ady mgafla, and I need sleep. Part IV will be posted soon.
P.S.; Kitten sent me a msg today saying that while reading one of my posts, she noticed a few spelling mistakes. Let me just say this, I'M SORRY! I REALLY AM! I hate spelling mistakes, and puctuation poop, I LOOK DOWN on people who have them in their writing, I hate it. Bas when I have them here, it's because I don't check my work and double read it before publishing it. Sorry, I'll pay better attention next time. So thank you, Kitten!
Until then, ¡Cuidados!
N. Kk
xx
When I'd go to the university and walk from class to class or during my breaks to get my usual Black Americano, I'd see him... Him. He always looks amazing, wearing casual clothes - jeans and a top. But I never cared about his clothes, I'd instantly look at his face, he'd be smiling or having that ''serious'' face. As soon as he'd look into my direction, I'd look away and pretend like I'm doing something useful. Shit, I hate it when he sometimes catches me looking in his direction. But the good thing is, he never actually saw me looking AT HIM! How so? I'll explain it now. I don't remember how it all began again, us talking. But it did. And my heart would beat so fast, I was starting to have feelings for him, for this person who's a complete stranger to me, this person who has a GIRLFRIEND! I knew it was wrong, I felt it every time he looked at me; but for some reason, I didnt stop having those feelings, and the sad part is, they grew more and more every day, I'd get attached every day. I didn't have to spell it out for him, I didn't have to yell it out, I might as well just wear a shirt that says ''Pick Me. Choose Me. Love Me.'' from Grey's Anatomy! Might as well...
But I'd deny every feeling I had towards him, I'd pretend to be strong, and not a little girl who can have her heart easily broken. No. I was tough. But I couldn't stay away... Moo ma3nata ga6eit roo7y, la never. Not with him. I kept my distance, I'd erase his msgs and his number every time I felt like texting. Sometimes, I'd write a really long message, talking about everything in me, and sometimes about stuff that happen to me during the day, things I wanted to share with him, my dreams, what I wanted to do in life. But I wouldn't send it. Desperate? Sad? Pathetic? I know. I know. But I'm positive many of you acted the same way when you were starting to get crazy about someone. Come on, you know it. You know it. One day, I was at my usual spot again drinking my Americano, and I get a msg... ''Why do you not smile? When you look at me, I want you to smile.'' Seriously? Awal shay, everyone knows I'm not a morning person, no one jokes around when I'm close before 11 am. No one screams out loud laman I'm there, no one y5afif dama when I'm there, and no one tries to fucking piss me off when I'm there. Not. Before. 11 am. And what does kk do?
At 9.30, he sends that msg. Big mistake pal. Big mistake. How the fuck do you expect me to smile? To pretend that I'm okay knowing you're with someone else and you're happy? Are you even happy? Really? No, I don't care, it's non of my business. Or is it? I felt like I just wanted this person to be happy, to be comfortable, to wake up every morning knowing he's gonna have an ''OK'' day. But I didn't wanna interfere. Plus, why should he care whether I smiled or not? Dude, we're not friends, we're nothing. Shakoo I smile? Fuck. I remember I had a really bad headache that morning, and just when I felt the caffeine kicking in, just when I felt the bits and pieces of my headache leaving my temple... They came back. The bits and pieces came back. Thanks. I read the msg, twice actually, and locked my phone just before putting it back down on the table. I didnt reply. He could see me, he was sitting inside at North while I was sitting outside, and you couldnt see the people inside sitting because of your reflection. ''A7san.'' I thought, I didn't wanna see him. I put my head down on the cold table and closed my eyes for a few seconds, just before I got another msg.
Please don't let it be him. Please, God. It was him. Such a shitty morning, I knew this would be a bad day. I just knew it. ''The way you look at me, I feel like I'm not even human.'' 8a9da inee ma3abra laman ymer witha a9lan shifta, a36eeh na9'raat wa95a. Leish? 7mara? Shakoo? I don't. You just think that way. I wish I could've told him that. I wish... But no. ''I'll smile.'' was what I said. And so, while I was walking back in with two of my friends, I looked at him. He had that look that said ''I'm waiting for a smile.'' I smiled, half a smile. I couldn't have a big ass smile on my face, I just couldn't. Less than a minute later, ''Lol. Cute. Keep it up.'' was on my screen. Really? I was wondering how deep the water fountain was. Agi6 roo7y? Madri, la next time. I'll save the humiliation for another time. Thanks. Nothing happened after that. Not for a few days atleast. And then came the unexpected. ''We broke up.''... I was having a break after a couple of my classes, it was a slow day. While enjoying my Americano and the chit chats with my friends, I got that msg; it schocked me. It really did. Wow. Kk and his girlfriend? Over? How? Why?
They've been together for almost four years wibyoum w leila they broke up? My Goodness... ''What? What happened? was my reply. So he explained it all to me, how she gave up on him, how they were both sick of their daily arguments about the most random and lame excuses. They both didnt wanna tolerate anymore, but breaking up wasnt a choice for him. He was like that, Kk. He was strong, he was in a committed relationship, it was like a marriage to him. A promise he didnt wanna break, that he'd stay with her forever, that he'd protect her and be by her side. But apparently, she wasnt as tough. And she didnt want to be. She left him. We talked that day, I was trying to show some support, I was trying to be there for him, to make him feel better. He was just so depressed about the whole situation, I could hear how his voice shacked when he'd talk about her, I could feel the back of his eyes burning, the tears wanting to come out. But he held them in. He loved her. He loved her. And I was there for him, while he was talking about her. Why? Lazim a3awer galbi?
I'm trying to make him feel better even though I had very strong feelings for this person? No. Now wasnt the time to act selfish, now wasnt the time to show how I felt towards him. He just needed a friend, and I was willing to wait... So I listened. I became a friend. Because that's what he needed, a friend. I tried to make him forget, I'd talk about stuff that would lighten up his mood, things ''friends'' talked about, I'd joke around, and I'd smile when he joked around as well. I knew he was still hurt, gaalee mara months wont be enough to get over her. I knew that was true. It was a healing process, he needed to lick his wounds, and that needed time, yes. It was a healing process. I was willing to wait, to wait for him... Would it take me anywhere? Would it make me happy later on? Would the outcome be worth it? Was that even correct English? Madrii... 7ady mgafla, and I need sleep. Part IV will be posted soon.
P.S.; Kitten sent me a msg today saying that while reading one of my posts, she noticed a few spelling mistakes. Let me just say this, I'M SORRY! I REALLY AM! I hate spelling mistakes, and puctuation poop, I LOOK DOWN on people who have them in their writing, I hate it. Bas when I have them here, it's because I don't check my work and double read it before publishing it. Sorry, I'll pay better attention next time. So thank you, Kitten!
Until then, ¡Cuidados!
N. Kk
xx
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
How It All Started - Part II
So where did I stop? He called, yeah? And I wrote about how the conversation started... Ok. So he wanted to tell me what ''really'' happened, I couldnt wait to hear more bullshit about this; whether or not it was true, I just didnt wanna get involved in any of this, it had drama written all over it. But I had to give him a chance, after all, he did make an effort to get my number and call to explain things, you had to respect that. He said that the day he went to the university to sign up for the Basketball Team, he ran into Mz and her friend, he didn't wanna talk to niether of them and kept on walking, passing by them. That's when they called out to him and asked him to approach them, so ''3ala niyaata'', he did... Dude, seriously? Why? You couldve just walked away, but no. You didnt. They started talking to him about casual everyday stuff chena rabi3 9arlehum fatra, w kan yred 3ala gad isu2al trying to end whatever was going on so he could walk away, no. Then they brought ME up. Leish? Bleh...
They asked him if he was interested in me, and he replied by saying that he sort of was, but she (me) doesnt seem so interested. Anyways, galee ina that was about it, they said their goodbyes and left so he could see the team. When he told me all of that, I was shocked with all of it, mostly from the fact that he WAS interested. Hmm... Marry me? Lol shda3wa. Anyhow, I appreciated his honesty, really. So I thanked him for calling and clearing things out for me, oh.. And he gave me advice; ''dont get too attached to those girls, they're your friends, I don't get why they lied to you. You seem like you're a smart girl and you don't wanna get involved with their issues.''. ''Thanks, I'll be careful from now on.'' I said nicely. I didnt wanna hang up, I wanted to talk and talk and talk. But I didn't wanna ''agi6 roo7y'', wei3.. I'm always like this. I have this habbit where I think that even the simple things I do would make people think that I'm some psycho who's in love with the guy wagi6 roo7y 3aleih... I'm just way too insecure that way. It made many believe iny shaayfa roo7y, but it really isnt like that!
So I managed to end the conversation telling him to take care of himself and I apologised for their childish behavior promising that I'd deal with them about it, and if either one of them approached him again in a rude manner, I'd draw the red line. He seemed to want to talk as well, but something stopped him. I didnt know what it was, and honestly, I wasnt sure I wanted to. We'd forget about this incident and move on, pretending that we never talked when we passed by eachother at school. I wish... Since that night when he'd spot my while sitting at my usuall spot, he's sort of stare? Maybe not stare bas ina looks for a few seconds, and I avoid him, look away.. Pretend that I'm looking at my phone or listen to one of the girls talking. I didnt know why I acted that way, alot of people stare and even make comments, but I never gave a crap. I dont usually care about how guys look at me, in or out of the university, it was never a big deal.
But him, when he looks at me, I dont know what to say, I dont know how to describe it, but I was starting to love it. I'd think about him sometimes, ina minu hatha? A total stranger who makes me feel this way, the feeling was so foreign, so new to me that I didnt know what to do and how to act. When Sn. calls me to talk like we always do, I realise that I bring kk up, kil mara akthar min il mara ilee 6aafat, I mention him. Ask about him. Sh7aga as2al Sn., madree. But he was very patient. God bless him. One night, I was bored. Right? I was just completely bored, and had nothing better to do. And what does N. do when she's bored? She grabs her phone and texts kk. Leish? 'Cause she's stupid, and didnt realise that this one msg will affect her life for the next few months. 3'abiya? Yeah. Thanks! ''Are you gonna keep making me hide and avoid you everyday untill we both graduate?'' That's what I said? 7mara? Bheema? 3aaha? Agi6 nafsy min idireesha? I felt like I wanted to burry myself in my own grave. Just. Die. And what made things worse is that I didnt get a reply. Nothing. Naada. Zoint. Zero. Nothing.
Until maybe 15 minutes later, I know. It doesnt seem like much, 15 minutes. But when you hold you phone the moment you sent the message, it seems like hours until he replied. ''Question is, why hide?''. Shagool? What the fuck was I supposed to say? Madri! So ''Because you constantly look at me when we're at Gust, and how much of as coincedence is it that your breaks are like mine?'' was what I said. And so, we started talking, it was all through messages. Neither of us called, we just thought it would be better that way. After a number of messages, moo shwaya let me tell you - we said our goodnights, not knowing what happened that night, not knowing where it would take us. The next day, I planned on going out with a bunch of my friends, kanaw wayed.. 6 I think? Yeah, we were 6. 7adhum kanaw faa9leen w hatheil myanan, it was wrong lol all of us together, too loud, in Kitten's Tahoe. 7ousa! But I needed it, I needed to go out and have fun. And what happened when we were out on the Gulf Road? HE TEXTS ME.
''Hey.'' I sensed that he was in a bad mood, I know it's weird, but I knew something was wrong through his messages. I asked, I wanted him to talk about it. I wanted him to feel better, I wanted him to be happy. Wow, 9a7? I know. Ana shaku? I barely know the guy and we've talked like what? Once? Itha mizaaja wei3 shaku ydizlee msg? But no. I asked. ''I didn't tell you this, but... I have a girlfriend, and it's serious.''. He has a girlfriend, and it's serious... I didn't know how to react, what to think, what to say. Kint baba6il il baab while Kitten was driving 170 and just throw myself from shame and embaressment. Yes, it was a big deal for me. BECAUSE I WAS INTERESTED! ''I'm glad you told me, I appreciate your honesty, walla ywafgik ma3aha :) She's a lucky person to have you in her life, and I'm sorry for bothering you. Take care of yourself for me. Bye''. He replied back, his msg was sickening, I felt nauseouss.
''I'm sorry, I didnt know how to say it when you sent me a msg last night. We just started talking and I didnt know how to bring it up. I'm sure you understand what I mean, and I'm glad I met a person like you. Don't stop smiling. Thanks... Bye.'' and I switched off my phone. And that was that, I thought that it was all over. That I wouldnt be talking to him again. That we'd errase eachother's numbers, that he'd stop looking at me at Gust, that he'd stop talking about me and asking Sn. questions, that I'd stop feeling the way I feel. I was very wrong.
To be continued...
P.S, One last part, and I'll be done talking about kk. Maybe I'll be mentioning him in a few more posts, but the whole post won't be about him.
N. Kk
xx
They asked him if he was interested in me, and he replied by saying that he sort of was, but she (me) doesnt seem so interested. Anyways, galee ina that was about it, they said their goodbyes and left so he could see the team. When he told me all of that, I was shocked with all of it, mostly from the fact that he WAS interested. Hmm... Marry me? Lol shda3wa. Anyhow, I appreciated his honesty, really. So I thanked him for calling and clearing things out for me, oh.. And he gave me advice; ''dont get too attached to those girls, they're your friends, I don't get why they lied to you. You seem like you're a smart girl and you don't wanna get involved with their issues.''. ''Thanks, I'll be careful from now on.'' I said nicely. I didnt wanna hang up, I wanted to talk and talk and talk. But I didn't wanna ''agi6 roo7y'', wei3.. I'm always like this. I have this habbit where I think that even the simple things I do would make people think that I'm some psycho who's in love with the guy wagi6 roo7y 3aleih... I'm just way too insecure that way. It made many believe iny shaayfa roo7y, but it really isnt like that!
So I managed to end the conversation telling him to take care of himself and I apologised for their childish behavior promising that I'd deal with them about it, and if either one of them approached him again in a rude manner, I'd draw the red line. He seemed to want to talk as well, but something stopped him. I didnt know what it was, and honestly, I wasnt sure I wanted to. We'd forget about this incident and move on, pretending that we never talked when we passed by eachother at school. I wish... Since that night when he'd spot my while sitting at my usuall spot, he's sort of stare? Maybe not stare bas ina looks for a few seconds, and I avoid him, look away.. Pretend that I'm looking at my phone or listen to one of the girls talking. I didnt know why I acted that way, alot of people stare and even make comments, but I never gave a crap. I dont usually care about how guys look at me, in or out of the university, it was never a big deal.
But him, when he looks at me, I dont know what to say, I dont know how to describe it, but I was starting to love it. I'd think about him sometimes, ina minu hatha? A total stranger who makes me feel this way, the feeling was so foreign, so new to me that I didnt know what to do and how to act. When Sn. calls me to talk like we always do, I realise that I bring kk up, kil mara akthar min il mara ilee 6aafat, I mention him. Ask about him. Sh7aga as2al Sn., madree. But he was very patient. God bless him. One night, I was bored. Right? I was just completely bored, and had nothing better to do. And what does N. do when she's bored? She grabs her phone and texts kk. Leish? 'Cause she's stupid, and didnt realise that this one msg will affect her life for the next few months. 3'abiya? Yeah. Thanks! ''Are you gonna keep making me hide and avoid you everyday untill we both graduate?'' That's what I said? 7mara? Bheema? 3aaha? Agi6 nafsy min idireesha? I felt like I wanted to burry myself in my own grave. Just. Die. And what made things worse is that I didnt get a reply. Nothing. Naada. Zoint. Zero. Nothing.
Until maybe 15 minutes later, I know. It doesnt seem like much, 15 minutes. But when you hold you phone the moment you sent the message, it seems like hours until he replied. ''Question is, why hide?''. Shagool? What the fuck was I supposed to say? Madri! So ''Because you constantly look at me when we're at Gust, and how much of as coincedence is it that your breaks are like mine?'' was what I said. And so, we started talking, it was all through messages. Neither of us called, we just thought it would be better that way. After a number of messages, moo shwaya let me tell you - we said our goodnights, not knowing what happened that night, not knowing where it would take us. The next day, I planned on going out with a bunch of my friends, kanaw wayed.. 6 I think? Yeah, we were 6. 7adhum kanaw faa9leen w hatheil myanan, it was wrong lol all of us together, too loud, in Kitten's Tahoe. 7ousa! But I needed it, I needed to go out and have fun. And what happened when we were out on the Gulf Road? HE TEXTS ME.
''Hey.'' I sensed that he was in a bad mood, I know it's weird, but I knew something was wrong through his messages. I asked, I wanted him to talk about it. I wanted him to feel better, I wanted him to be happy. Wow, 9a7? I know. Ana shaku? I barely know the guy and we've talked like what? Once? Itha mizaaja wei3 shaku ydizlee msg? But no. I asked. ''I didn't tell you this, but... I have a girlfriend, and it's serious.''. He has a girlfriend, and it's serious... I didn't know how to react, what to think, what to say. Kint baba6il il baab while Kitten was driving 170 and just throw myself from shame and embaressment. Yes, it was a big deal for me. BECAUSE I WAS INTERESTED! ''I'm glad you told me, I appreciate your honesty, walla ywafgik ma3aha :) She's a lucky person to have you in her life, and I'm sorry for bothering you. Take care of yourself for me. Bye''. He replied back, his msg was sickening, I felt nauseouss.
''I'm sorry, I didnt know how to say it when you sent me a msg last night. We just started talking and I didnt know how to bring it up. I'm sure you understand what I mean, and I'm glad I met a person like you. Don't stop smiling. Thanks... Bye.'' and I switched off my phone. And that was that, I thought that it was all over. That I wouldnt be talking to him again. That we'd errase eachother's numbers, that he'd stop looking at me at Gust, that he'd stop talking about me and asking Sn. questions, that I'd stop feeling the way I feel. I was very wrong.
To be continued...
P.S, One last part, and I'll be done talking about kk. Maybe I'll be mentioning him in a few more posts, but the whole post won't be about him.
N. Kk
xx
How It All Started - Part I
This is how it all started... And since then, it's been a rollercoaster ride, one crazy thing after another. And you barely have time to just take a moment to breathe. I remember two courses ago, while saying hi to Sn. a friend of mine at Gust, he was walking around with another couple of guys. One, I've met earlier, the first day of that course, so I smiled from far away. The second though, I haven't seen at uni before, he seemed old enough to be there probably the same time I got into Gust, maybe even before. The first thing I noticed about this person is his confidence when he walks, I've always admired that in men, it shows so much when it comes to reading their charecters. He had no smile on his face, some people are just like that naturally, walking with a straight face; he was standing far away from Sn., maybe respecting the fact that he doesnt know me and so kept his distance until Sn. and I were done having our daily goofey conversations.
I was sitting at one of the tables in the West Wing with a friend of mine when Sn. approached me, and just before he left, I called out and when he got closer, I asked who his friend was. He then had a smile on his face mischivously knowing that I'm obviously interested, but I tried playing cool and didnt gove much attention to it. And so, the rest of the semester passed by without seeing much of that person, rarely maybe - between classes. Last course, things changed... Dramatically. How so? Everytime I saw Sn. and we'd say hello and talk, that person would be there, everytime I left one of my classes and wanted to go to our usuall spot where my friends and I sit, I'd find him around, sitting a couple of tables away from us. I regarded the fact that now I'd see him more often, even at odd places, like the North Wing where girls usually have their classes. And slowly, I started having some interest, I'm not going to lie. He's amazingly attractive, and just like I said earlier, he had this confidence when he walks. I started noticing him looking min 6araf 3aina, but I try not to be as obvious, and sooner than later, he started passing by our table walking with his friend and looking straight at me, so directly that I felt insecure.
When it all started, I didnt think much of it, so some guy was staring, what was I supposed to do? Stare back and yell at hime? No, I'd stay quiet... And little did I know that this person would be a part of my life... After a few weeks of making eye contact for half a second, I'd sort of ''hide'' until he's gone, I'd walk into random places like one of the bathrooms or the hallways until he passes by. My friends would laugh at me thinking that it's cute, but inside, I'd have my heart beating so hard I could hear it. Sn. would call me whenever he felt like talking and delibaretely brings him up just to see how I'd react, he knew that I was ineterested even though I didn't actually say anything to him, nevermind anyone else. Some time during the middle of the semester, I got a call from a close friend of mine, Mz. ''Did you know we talked to him today at Gust when you left?''. I knew straight away who she was talking about. Him. I was so nervous, she told me everything, at first, it was so overwealming and I was in total shock. The nerve.
Apparently Mz and another friend were sitting at one of the tables after finishing from one of their evening classes, and he walked in through one the the gates, I'm guessing North, since he usually parks there. So they started talking, I don't know who approached who first, frankly I don't care, I just care about what they had to say to eachother. Mz was extremely straight forward, she asked him-point blank- whether or not he was interested in me, he tried playing dumb and asked who she was talking about. ''The girl with the purple shirt, N.'' ''Yes, I think it's pretty obvious that I do but it shows clearly that she's not even remotely interested in me.'' They both asked him how he was able to figure that out. ''Sn. calls her infront of me sometimes and has her on speaker without her knowing about it, she says it out loud... She doesnt like me. That's the only proff I need, it came out of her lips.'' So Mz called me that night and told me all about it. I was very surprised, from many things.
First, how could they have the balls to talk to him about it? I mean, it's just a little bit too extreme, don't you think? He probably thought that I sort of made them ask him 3alabuna ana madree shisalfa, I didnt want it to seem that way, I didn't want him to think I'm that desperate. Second of all, how could Sn.- the person I trust, and the person whom I considered a brother, could have me on speaker around his friend and ask me awkward questions about him. I barely reacted to what she's said, asking for more details but not showing any emotions, figures... Guys are asswipes and that's that. I forgot about him. But Sn., I just needed to make sure that what I've heard is completely true, I saw him the next day and when he smiled, I didn't smile back. Just continued walking, I felt bad but I had to be certain he wasn't being a jerk. On my way home from Gust that day, I sent Sn. a text asking if what Mz said was true, he denied all of it, saying it's bullshit and shame on me for trusting that sort of information, it was obviously he was disapointed in me but how could he blame me? One friend said something, and another said something completely different. Bitch. I'd deal with her when I see her.
I trusted Sn. and I've known him for so long, Mz on the other hand, even though I've been friends with her for a while, we had some past issues, mostly related to guys she knew. It pissed me off, but we just forget about it and move on pretending that everything's okay. I asked Sn. to stay quiet about this whole issue, no one had to know about what we've talked about, he agreed.
Yeah? No.
Two days later, while I was having a nap after school, I got a weird number calling me. I decided to call back when I woke up, now was not the time. Malee 5ilg I deal with some phone call prank from some kid who had nothing better to do. But no, a minute later, that person calls again. I picked up mnafsa, it was pretty obvious my mood was crappy. I hate it when someone wakes me up like this, wei3? Wei3. ''Nam3am.'' ''Aloo, salam 3aleikum, N.?'' ''Hala, ee na3am, minu ma3ay? Shbi3éit?'' Islooby kaan 7ada (N) but can you blame me? ''Hi, mm... I'm kk (let's call him kk)''. Right then, I realised who was calling me, it was him. Him. HE was calling me, alot of emotions and thoughts were going through my head, why is he calling me? How did he get my number? Some balls, specially after what happened, I didnt know the whole truth so for now, I didnt wanna deal with anything.
I pretended like I didn't know him, so I asked ''Minu kk? A3arfik?'' ''Ee, cham kk t3arfeen?'' Moo wagta he jokes around, so I was like ''What's up? How did you get my number?'' He knew I wanted to get this over with so he was done with small talk. ''I got your number from Sn., bas la t3a9been 3aleih, I practically forced him, he told me about what Mz told you, that I went up to her and said what I said. So I called to tell you the honest truth, and by the end of this conversation, you can believe her or me, shay raji3lich.'' Wow. This problem was blown way out of proportion, more drama, I didn't want that. I just didn't need it.
To be continued...
P.S, more shit happened today with those two friends I wrote about, the ones who fought at uni? Yeah, apparently one of them, not Mz, started talking poop about XTC and I, maala da3ee? Yeah, thanks, 7ada! But I laughed and brushed it off, whatever... Bitch (:
N. Kk
xx
I was sitting at one of the tables in the West Wing with a friend of mine when Sn. approached me, and just before he left, I called out and when he got closer, I asked who his friend was. He then had a smile on his face mischivously knowing that I'm obviously interested, but I tried playing cool and didnt gove much attention to it. And so, the rest of the semester passed by without seeing much of that person, rarely maybe - between classes. Last course, things changed... Dramatically. How so? Everytime I saw Sn. and we'd say hello and talk, that person would be there, everytime I left one of my classes and wanted to go to our usuall spot where my friends and I sit, I'd find him around, sitting a couple of tables away from us. I regarded the fact that now I'd see him more often, even at odd places, like the North Wing where girls usually have their classes. And slowly, I started having some interest, I'm not going to lie. He's amazingly attractive, and just like I said earlier, he had this confidence when he walks. I started noticing him looking min 6araf 3aina, but I try not to be as obvious, and sooner than later, he started passing by our table walking with his friend and looking straight at me, so directly that I felt insecure.
When it all started, I didnt think much of it, so some guy was staring, what was I supposed to do? Stare back and yell at hime? No, I'd stay quiet... And little did I know that this person would be a part of my life... After a few weeks of making eye contact for half a second, I'd sort of ''hide'' until he's gone, I'd walk into random places like one of the bathrooms or the hallways until he passes by. My friends would laugh at me thinking that it's cute, but inside, I'd have my heart beating so hard I could hear it. Sn. would call me whenever he felt like talking and delibaretely brings him up just to see how I'd react, he knew that I was ineterested even though I didn't actually say anything to him, nevermind anyone else. Some time during the middle of the semester, I got a call from a close friend of mine, Mz. ''Did you know we talked to him today at Gust when you left?''. I knew straight away who she was talking about. Him. I was so nervous, she told me everything, at first, it was so overwealming and I was in total shock. The nerve.
Apparently Mz and another friend were sitting at one of the tables after finishing from one of their evening classes, and he walked in through one the the gates, I'm guessing North, since he usually parks there. So they started talking, I don't know who approached who first, frankly I don't care, I just care about what they had to say to eachother. Mz was extremely straight forward, she asked him-point blank- whether or not he was interested in me, he tried playing dumb and asked who she was talking about. ''The girl with the purple shirt, N.'' ''Yes, I think it's pretty obvious that I do but it shows clearly that she's not even remotely interested in me.'' They both asked him how he was able to figure that out. ''Sn. calls her infront of me sometimes and has her on speaker without her knowing about it, she says it out loud... She doesnt like me. That's the only proff I need, it came out of her lips.'' So Mz called me that night and told me all about it. I was very surprised, from many things.
First, how could they have the balls to talk to him about it? I mean, it's just a little bit too extreme, don't you think? He probably thought that I sort of made them ask him 3alabuna ana madree shisalfa, I didnt want it to seem that way, I didn't want him to think I'm that desperate. Second of all, how could Sn.- the person I trust, and the person whom I considered a brother, could have me on speaker around his friend and ask me awkward questions about him. I barely reacted to what she's said, asking for more details but not showing any emotions, figures... Guys are asswipes and that's that. I forgot about him. But Sn., I just needed to make sure that what I've heard is completely true, I saw him the next day and when he smiled, I didn't smile back. Just continued walking, I felt bad but I had to be certain he wasn't being a jerk. On my way home from Gust that day, I sent Sn. a text asking if what Mz said was true, he denied all of it, saying it's bullshit and shame on me for trusting that sort of information, it was obviously he was disapointed in me but how could he blame me? One friend said something, and another said something completely different. Bitch. I'd deal with her when I see her.
I trusted Sn. and I've known him for so long, Mz on the other hand, even though I've been friends with her for a while, we had some past issues, mostly related to guys she knew. It pissed me off, but we just forget about it and move on pretending that everything's okay. I asked Sn. to stay quiet about this whole issue, no one had to know about what we've talked about, he agreed.
Yeah? No.
Two days later, while I was having a nap after school, I got a weird number calling me. I decided to call back when I woke up, now was not the time. Malee 5ilg I deal with some phone call prank from some kid who had nothing better to do. But no, a minute later, that person calls again. I picked up mnafsa, it was pretty obvious my mood was crappy. I hate it when someone wakes me up like this, wei3? Wei3. ''Nam3am.'' ''Aloo, salam 3aleikum, N.?'' ''Hala, ee na3am, minu ma3ay? Shbi3éit?'' Islooby kaan 7ada (N) but can you blame me? ''Hi, mm... I'm kk (let's call him kk)''. Right then, I realised who was calling me, it was him. Him. HE was calling me, alot of emotions and thoughts were going through my head, why is he calling me? How did he get my number? Some balls, specially after what happened, I didnt know the whole truth so for now, I didnt wanna deal with anything.
I pretended like I didn't know him, so I asked ''Minu kk? A3arfik?'' ''Ee, cham kk t3arfeen?'' Moo wagta he jokes around, so I was like ''What's up? How did you get my number?'' He knew I wanted to get this over with so he was done with small talk. ''I got your number from Sn., bas la t3a9been 3aleih, I practically forced him, he told me about what Mz told you, that I went up to her and said what I said. So I called to tell you the honest truth, and by the end of this conversation, you can believe her or me, shay raji3lich.'' Wow. This problem was blown way out of proportion, more drama, I didn't want that. I just didn't need it.
To be continued...
P.S, more shit happened today with those two friends I wrote about, the ones who fought at uni? Yeah, apparently one of them, not Mz, started talking poop about XTC and I, maala da3ee? Yeah, thanks, 7ada! But I laughed and brushed it off, whatever... Bitch (:
N. Kk
xx
Monday, March 9, 2009
All Good Things Come To An End
Actually, no... I don't wanna talk about L. anymore. I mean, what's the fucking point? He's out of my life, isn't he? We're not close friends anymore, right? So. There's. No. Point. Maybe later on, when I'm not in a shitty mood. I haven't blogged yesterday, it was a long day, came back home at around 6 after being at Gust from 8.30 am. We had an American Politics quiz which I think I did OK in, I don't know. We'll see, I'm guessing we're getting our grades tomorrow? Probably. I spent 20 minutes after getting there waiting for Kitten, my friend while I was hanging out with XTC, the reason why I came early before my 10 oclock class is because I wanted to revise for my quiz and help Kitten, but things didnt go as planned. You see, she called at around 9 am even though we were SUPPOSED to meet up at 8.30, yes... To me, it makes a difference. She was in a major wardrobe malfunction!!!
Her stockings got ripped at the side, first when she told me over the phone while waiting in her car for some miracle to happen, I started yelling and complaining about how it wasnt a big deal and no one would notice. But when I went to her car, it was ripped from her ankle all the way up to her knee, any guy reading this might be all ''oola shda3wa, 9ij banat!'' but no... It really is a disaster, if you had a vagina, you'd understand. So, we decided to go to Mishref's co-op since there are shops upstairs like Bhs, Milano, and NEXT. Once we got there, we were informed that there werent any stockings in anyone of the shops, you've got to be shitting me! Shloun maku?!!! 7amdella wishiker, they should have the shops closed, balla someone had her stockings ripped w she was less than an hour away from her American Politics quiz? SHitsawee? T6ig darb lei wa7da min il mujama3at Bisalmiya? Shoot me. -Sarcasm-. Kitten decided to just buy a black pair of skinny jeans and a pink top, ok... One crises down, one to go. The quiz.
I started getting nervous, I needed a really good mark in this quiz 3alabuna bashid 7eily akthar hal course, my mood just went downhill from there, we got back to uni, found a parking by the soccer feild-which still didnt have any grass by the way- and rushed to our usuall spot to have some last minute revision. After the quiz was over and we stopped worrying, we had another couple of classes, but by then, Kitten's mood started to change. Ni9ám kil wa7da laha dour tnafis 3al awadim, shit. We do that alot. She wanted to just go home, I could relate to the feeling, yi5tereb il mizaaj for no reason, I'm sure you can too. Il muhim, 7aneit w 7aneit and eventually we just decided to get Chinese from Marina, upstairs. We needed something quick 3ashan waray class at 3 and we leaft uni at 1.20 pm; fa when we got there, 3ala6ool 9i3adna foug and rushed to the Chinese Restaurant. Aj, my friend wanted something else to eat fa 3ala ma we get our food, she went and got hers.
While we were ordering, the ''sweet'' Indian employee wanted to have some small talk with us, I usually didn't mind. Bil3ags lol what's the harm? They always have moody and rude people ordering from them, that's how people could be in Kuwait. But this dude, he was a little bit extra friendly, ga6eit ga6a while talking to Kitten, il 7abeeb maat min i9í7ik, 3afya being professional. No. A5er shay agoola yeah, thanks, we're good that's it, how much do we pay? Ygool KD10, inshalla moo KD 10, 6ala3ta, ina min 9ijik? Chan yi9'7ak wiygool la la I'm joking! -.- Wei3? Yeah. Very much so. Anyways, we had our quick lunch and went back to uni. Finished my class and got back home where I stayed for an hour and went to meet my best friend Toomz for Johney Rockets-faj2a shtiheit. I came back home and went straight to bed. Oh wait, no no no... There's one major part of yesterday that I didnt mention surprisingly, remember my friend who deleted me on msn? :D Who wanted us to be together till things got all akward and we just stopped talking? Yeah, he called.
I missed him, the warmth of his voice and the way he joked around, but I was being very serious, kilish ma 3a6eita wayh wared 3ala gad isu2al, ga6eita bwayha, I was like ''You deleted me on msn, you might as well just block me and delete my number, why didnt you?''. And he'd say stuff like it was all my fault that we werent friends anymore and how I was able to be so cold hearted to let go of ''us''. US? THERE IS NO US! Friends don't refer to themselves as US that way, it's wrong. Obviously he wasnt over those feelings, and I wasnt gonna let him start pressuring me into it and persuading me again, I wasn't in the mood. And that's that. He was around his friend, 3ayal sh7aga daag?! So I was all like 'Goop', I'ma go to bed, long day and got class at 8 tomorrow, he replyed by saying that he'll call me later. Yeah, no. 7a6eit telephony silent and went to bed. When I woke up at 5.30 am, I found two missed calls and a msg saying ''thanks for calling back.'' Ahaa... Wow. I guess he didn't change, so I decided not to make any effort into making our friendship work again. End of story.
Today, I arrived at Gust at around 7.30 'cause I had an 8 am class, it was such a long day. I helped out a couple of friends with their homework, another friend with some interview he was soing for his Social Problems project, and went to my other class at 3.30 pm where XTC gave me a finger every two minutes because we were bored to death and we're just stupid that way. When we were done, I was on my way to our usuall spot to get my stuff and get back home with XTC, no. Two of my friends had this fight, it was huge! Well, I wouldnt know since I was in class, but another few girls said it was. There was swearing, cussing, and yelling in the center of the university. Inshalla moo fa9'7een ru7kum chithy. Never. Ever. Fight. At. Gust. Because by the very next day, the word would be out and everyone would know about the fight, and it's DETAILS, shit. I didn't wanna get involved, but they were both sitting on our table with another friend, so I peretended that I didnt feel the negative slash bitchy slash negative slash bitchy vibe. Yeah? No.
One of them pulled me to the bathroom and told me her side of the story, I was very patient and listened to every word without talking, only when I had to say the occasional ''hmm'' and ''ohh''. When I saw the tears, it just broke my heart, I felt so bad whether or not it was her fault, the more the tears came down, the more I felt sorry for my friend. At the end, I just gave her some advice and told her what to do, she felt a bit better and before leaving the bathroom, I gave her a big hug and patted her on the back to ensure her that everything will be OK. The drama... You can taste it... Damn. Then when I was on my way to the library to get some stuff I've left there earlier, my other friend came after me to tell me her side. Why ME? Ana shaku? Ana kint bil class behaving! Why?! But I didnt wanna be mean, specially since they obviously needed to let it out, and I'd rather have them let it out on me than on each other, you wouldnt wanna mess with these two, believe you me.
Such a long day, and I didn't need all of this. So, when we were done from all the drama, XTC and I left. She dropped me back home, came up with me to say hi to my parents and went back to her place. One thing I've realised about friendships I've had at Gust is that you can't trust a person a 100%, never. No matter how close you are, always, always keep that thin line between you and the person so he or she could not cross it. You know what I hate? Hypocrates, and we have so many of them at Gust, heck I was good friends with so many of them, and how do they act? All sweet, funny, and innocent around you, and the minute you leave, they talk shit about you. T3awadt :) This is how our society functions, 6aaf. Would they think that I give two craps? La... Witha moo 3ajibhum, 5amista3ash alf 6oufa ib Gust yegdiroon yi6egoun ras'hum feeha. Simple as that. To me, I treasure things like friendships, I believe that people could spend a lifetime being friends. But shit, not everyone acts like that. Wei3, inzein? Wei3?
P.S.
Toomz, XTC, Kitten, Aj, Mz.. You guys, I love.
You guys, I believe in.
But when it comes to trust, we all have to be careful.
N. Kk
xx
Her stockings got ripped at the side, first when she told me over the phone while waiting in her car for some miracle to happen, I started yelling and complaining about how it wasnt a big deal and no one would notice. But when I went to her car, it was ripped from her ankle all the way up to her knee, any guy reading this might be all ''oola shda3wa, 9ij banat!'' but no... It really is a disaster, if you had a vagina, you'd understand. So, we decided to go to Mishref's co-op since there are shops upstairs like Bhs, Milano, and NEXT. Once we got there, we were informed that there werent any stockings in anyone of the shops, you've got to be shitting me! Shloun maku?!!! 7amdella wishiker, they should have the shops closed, balla someone had her stockings ripped w she was less than an hour away from her American Politics quiz? SHitsawee? T6ig darb lei wa7da min il mujama3at Bisalmiya? Shoot me. -Sarcasm-. Kitten decided to just buy a black pair of skinny jeans and a pink top, ok... One crises down, one to go. The quiz.
I started getting nervous, I needed a really good mark in this quiz 3alabuna bashid 7eily akthar hal course, my mood just went downhill from there, we got back to uni, found a parking by the soccer feild-which still didnt have any grass by the way- and rushed to our usuall spot to have some last minute revision. After the quiz was over and we stopped worrying, we had another couple of classes, but by then, Kitten's mood started to change. Ni9ám kil wa7da laha dour tnafis 3al awadim, shit. We do that alot. She wanted to just go home, I could relate to the feeling, yi5tereb il mizaaj for no reason, I'm sure you can too. Il muhim, 7aneit w 7aneit and eventually we just decided to get Chinese from Marina, upstairs. We needed something quick 3ashan waray class at 3 and we leaft uni at 1.20 pm; fa when we got there, 3ala6ool 9i3adna foug and rushed to the Chinese Restaurant. Aj, my friend wanted something else to eat fa 3ala ma we get our food, she went and got hers.
While we were ordering, the ''sweet'' Indian employee wanted to have some small talk with us, I usually didn't mind. Bil3ags lol what's the harm? They always have moody and rude people ordering from them, that's how people could be in Kuwait. But this dude, he was a little bit extra friendly, ga6eit ga6a while talking to Kitten, il 7abeeb maat min i9í7ik, 3afya being professional. No. A5er shay agoola yeah, thanks, we're good that's it, how much do we pay? Ygool KD10, inshalla moo KD 10, 6ala3ta, ina min 9ijik? Chan yi9'7ak wiygool la la I'm joking! -.- Wei3? Yeah. Very much so. Anyways, we had our quick lunch and went back to uni. Finished my class and got back home where I stayed for an hour and went to meet my best friend Toomz for Johney Rockets-faj2a shtiheit. I came back home and went straight to bed. Oh wait, no no no... There's one major part of yesterday that I didnt mention surprisingly, remember my friend who deleted me on msn? :D Who wanted us to be together till things got all akward and we just stopped talking? Yeah, he called.
I missed him, the warmth of his voice and the way he joked around, but I was being very serious, kilish ma 3a6eita wayh wared 3ala gad isu2al, ga6eita bwayha, I was like ''You deleted me on msn, you might as well just block me and delete my number, why didnt you?''. And he'd say stuff like it was all my fault that we werent friends anymore and how I was able to be so cold hearted to let go of ''us''. US? THERE IS NO US! Friends don't refer to themselves as US that way, it's wrong. Obviously he wasnt over those feelings, and I wasnt gonna let him start pressuring me into it and persuading me again, I wasn't in the mood. And that's that. He was around his friend, 3ayal sh7aga daag?! So I was all like 'Goop', I'ma go to bed, long day and got class at 8 tomorrow, he replyed by saying that he'll call me later. Yeah, no. 7a6eit telephony silent and went to bed. When I woke up at 5.30 am, I found two missed calls and a msg saying ''thanks for calling back.'' Ahaa... Wow. I guess he didn't change, so I decided not to make any effort into making our friendship work again. End of story.
Today, I arrived at Gust at around 7.30 'cause I had an 8 am class, it was such a long day. I helped out a couple of friends with their homework, another friend with some interview he was soing for his Social Problems project, and went to my other class at 3.30 pm where XTC gave me a finger every two minutes because we were bored to death and we're just stupid that way. When we were done, I was on my way to our usuall spot to get my stuff and get back home with XTC, no. Two of my friends had this fight, it was huge! Well, I wouldnt know since I was in class, but another few girls said it was. There was swearing, cussing, and yelling in the center of the university. Inshalla moo fa9'7een ru7kum chithy. Never. Ever. Fight. At. Gust. Because by the very next day, the word would be out and everyone would know about the fight, and it's DETAILS, shit. I didn't wanna get involved, but they were both sitting on our table with another friend, so I peretended that I didnt feel the negative slash bitchy slash negative slash bitchy vibe. Yeah? No.
One of them pulled me to the bathroom and told me her side of the story, I was very patient and listened to every word without talking, only when I had to say the occasional ''hmm'' and ''ohh''. When I saw the tears, it just broke my heart, I felt so bad whether or not it was her fault, the more the tears came down, the more I felt sorry for my friend. At the end, I just gave her some advice and told her what to do, she felt a bit better and before leaving the bathroom, I gave her a big hug and patted her on the back to ensure her that everything will be OK. The drama... You can taste it... Damn. Then when I was on my way to the library to get some stuff I've left there earlier, my other friend came after me to tell me her side. Why ME? Ana shaku? Ana kint bil class behaving! Why?! But I didnt wanna be mean, specially since they obviously needed to let it out, and I'd rather have them let it out on me than on each other, you wouldnt wanna mess with these two, believe you me.
Such a long day, and I didn't need all of this. So, when we were done from all the drama, XTC and I left. She dropped me back home, came up with me to say hi to my parents and went back to her place. One thing I've realised about friendships I've had at Gust is that you can't trust a person a 100%, never. No matter how close you are, always, always keep that thin line between you and the person so he or she could not cross it. You know what I hate? Hypocrates, and we have so many of them at Gust, heck I was good friends with so many of them, and how do they act? All sweet, funny, and innocent around you, and the minute you leave, they talk shit about you. T3awadt :) This is how our society functions, 6aaf. Would they think that I give two craps? La... Witha moo 3ajibhum, 5amista3ash alf 6oufa ib Gust yegdiroon yi6egoun ras'hum feeha. Simple as that. To me, I treasure things like friendships, I believe that people could spend a lifetime being friends. But shit, not everyone acts like that. Wei3, inzein? Wei3?
P.S.
Toomz, XTC, Kitten, Aj, Mz.. You guys, I love.
You guys, I believe in.
But when it comes to trust, we all have to be careful.
N. Kk
xx
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Where Did I Go Wrong? I Lost A Friend.
You know how sometimes you have so many gilrfriends, and they're just too much, you hang out with them, shopping, coffee, brunches and early dinners, tanning, manicures and so on? Yeah, I'm sure every girl reading this can relate, but you know what's funny? You always have that one friend who you can trust with your own life, and for me, it's not a girl, he's a he. L. let's call him, in one of my older posts, I mentioned my other friend who I was close with, but this friend, no... He's much more than a brother, he was everything. God, we loved being close friends, and what was amazing was we were so close to the extent that I felt extremely comfortable around him, how so? I remember during Ramadan, mom used to ask me at around 3 pm to go and buy fatayer and stuff, you know? little mimbeez you eat as apetizers with soup and stuff for Futoor. So I'd get in the car and while I'd wait for it to warm up, I'd call L. my friend.. This is usually how the conversation goes.
L.: Hala bizein, hala bil 7ub.. Hala ubooy, 5air? Na3am? -Sarcasm-
Me: 5ali9na.. Sh3endik?
L.: Sh3andee ba3ad? Tawny ga3ed min inoum.
Me: Maku zegayer.. Haha! Zein Rmi9'an.. Ma3nata mezajik zbala ;D
L.: Ana zein radeit 3aleich, law wa7da thanya chan I rejected her call. Bas maybayin b3ainich!
Me: T3'azil ma3a wayhik? Zein yalla badel, digeegtein waana 3andik.
L.: Sh7aga? Please, maala da3y mishaweerich al7een.
Me: Goom yalla 3aad, daloo3aaaaa. Bser3a, moo tizra3ny bara mithil kil youm!
L.: Yalla digeega wakoon zahib, salam.
And I hang up on his face
;D
So I'd usually pick him up, and just like every time, I'd wait for 5 to 10 minutes while his majesty gets downstairs and into my car. Occasionally, his dad would come out and say hello, asks how school is and whether or not I fell in love with his son. I didnt, and I won't. He jokes about it, and I usually joke back by saying he's too good for me or some shit like that. Anywho, so we'd take off.. And he starts bitching about the kind of music I listen to. Me, I don't usually listen to Arabic music, at. All. Him on the other hand, he doesnt listen to English. I'd be having some song on, and he'd change the station. In dad's caprice, you dont have CD's, yeah dad's just old fashioned that way. And I just got my license so I didn't get my own car yet. So.... We found a way to both be happy, sha3'alna 3abdilmajeed. He's the only Arabic singer I can actually stand, barely. But he's okay.. We had his album on, a cassette. I fell in love with it right away. So whenever he's in the car with me, I'd have it on. How did I fall for this album? Here's the story.
When the spring/summer semester ended a few months before Ramadan, I went to get my grades for the finals we had. It was around what, 9 am? SO I drove my dad's caprice and went to Gust. Just before I got there, L. calls, he asks where I am, I told him I'm on my way to get my grades, so we decided to meet up at Gust and see my grades, then we'd drive around in the Messila area, maybe get some late breakfast on the way.
So we were driving in his car, yeah..? Something -not make my ears bleed-ish, so he did. And what did he put on? Majeed's CD. Good, now I can push my chair back, enjoy the cold leather.. The cold air from the airconditioner, and his annoying tapping on my hand, but whatever, I was determined not to get my day ruined lol. The next song that came on basically killed this little part of me that I made sure never to show to anyone in my life, this weakness in me. ''Talee Tagdeerik'' came on. Yes. At first, I tried to understand the meaning of the first verse, then... I felt my eyes burning, oh shit. There they were, the tears, at the back of my eyes, I knew it. I knew that in just a few seconds, they'd be running down my hot cheecks. SHIT. Not the right time, not when I have a guy next to me, not when I have another human being next to me. The words, the meaning of the lyrics hit me like a huge slap across my face. I made sure he didnt see my face, so I turned my head to the window and looked out, then came the tears, fucking lovely. Yes. Fucking lovely. A few seconds later, he turned to me and held my hand with a questioned expression on his face, ''N., you ok? Shfeech yuba?'' ''Nothing, just drive'' I said without even facing him. Then he slowed down, and I knew I had to have one of those -oh talk to me, let it out- conversations. I hated those, I hated showing how weak I am to people, but he just got me right there, and I knew I could trust him with this. When the song hit me even deeper as the seconds went by, I couldnt speak, I just couldnt. It was so hard to even breathe out, I started remembering. F., I was remembering him. My ex. I missed him, and I was so relating to the song...
L.: Hala bizein, hala bil 7ub.. Hala ubooy, 5air? Na3am? -Sarcasm-
Me: 5ali9na.. Sh3endik?
L.: Sh3andee ba3ad? Tawny ga3ed min inoum.
Me: Maku zegayer.. Haha! Zein Rmi9'an.. Ma3nata mezajik zbala ;D
L.: Ana zein radeit 3aleich, law wa7da thanya chan I rejected her call. Bas maybayin b3ainich!
Me: T3'azil ma3a wayhik? Zein yalla badel, digeegtein waana 3andik.
L.: Sh7aga? Please, maala da3y mishaweerich al7een.
Me: Goom yalla 3aad, daloo3aaaaa. Bser3a, moo tizra3ny bara mithil kil youm!
L.: Yalla digeega wakoon zahib, salam.
And I hang up on his face
;D
So I'd usually pick him up, and just like every time, I'd wait for 5 to 10 minutes while his majesty gets downstairs and into my car. Occasionally, his dad would come out and say hello, asks how school is and whether or not I fell in love with his son. I didnt, and I won't. He jokes about it, and I usually joke back by saying he's too good for me or some shit like that. Anywho, so we'd take off.. And he starts bitching about the kind of music I listen to. Me, I don't usually listen to Arabic music, at. All. Him on the other hand, he doesnt listen to English. I'd be having some song on, and he'd change the station. In dad's caprice, you dont have CD's, yeah dad's just old fashioned that way. And I just got my license so I didn't get my own car yet. So.... We found a way to both be happy, sha3'alna 3abdilmajeed. He's the only Arabic singer I can actually stand, barely. But he's okay.. We had his album on, a cassette. I fell in love with it right away. So whenever he's in the car with me, I'd have it on. How did I fall for this album? Here's the story.
When the spring/summer semester ended a few months before Ramadan, I went to get my grades for the finals we had. It was around what, 9 am? SO I drove my dad's caprice and went to Gust. Just before I got there, L. calls, he asks where I am, I told him I'm on my way to get my grades, so we decided to meet up at Gust and see my grades, then we'd drive around in the Messila area, maybe get some late breakfast on the way.
So we were driving in his car, yeah..? Something -not make my ears bleed-ish, so he did. And what did he put on? Majeed's CD. Good, now I can push my chair back, enjoy the cold leather.. The cold air from the airconditioner, and his annoying tapping on my hand, but whatever, I was determined not to get my day ruined lol. The next song that came on basically killed this little part of me that I made sure never to show to anyone in my life, this weakness in me. ''Talee Tagdeerik'' came on. Yes. At first, I tried to understand the meaning of the first verse, then... I felt my eyes burning, oh shit. There they were, the tears, at the back of my eyes, I knew it. I knew that in just a few seconds, they'd be running down my hot cheecks. SHIT. Not the right time, not when I have a guy next to me, not when I have another human being next to me. The words, the meaning of the lyrics hit me like a huge slap across my face. I made sure he didnt see my face, so I turned my head to the window and looked out, then came the tears, fucking lovely. Yes. Fucking lovely. A few seconds later, he turned to me and held my hand with a questioned expression on his face, ''N., you ok? Shfeech yuba?'' ''Nothing, just drive'' I said without even facing him. Then he slowed down, and I knew I had to have one of those -oh talk to me, let it out- conversations. I hated those, I hated showing how weak I am to people, but he just got me right there, and I knew I could trust him with this. When the song hit me even deeper as the seconds went by, I couldnt speak, I just couldnt. It was so hard to even breathe out, I started remembering. F., I was remembering him. My ex. I missed him, and I was so relating to the song...
هذا تالي تقديرك تجرحني بتقصيرك ليت الجرح مو منك ليت الجرح من غيرك
من غيرك يكون أهون يمكن يوم ويهوّن لكن ما اني متخيل إنك بالظهر تطعن
حبيتك وذي غلطه حسافة حبي وإحساسي وعمري ما تخيلتك تكون أقسى من القاسي
The lyrics. And just then, he held me tight, gave that -you'll be ok, I promise- hug. I just adored him then, he was such a good friend. I needed that hug, because even though I didnt actually talk about F. infront of him, he understood what I was going through, (I'll talk some more about F. and our break up in another post). We continued driving, and the tears -Thank Goodness- stopped. When it was around 11-ish and the hot summer started to get the best of me, I asked him to take the next u-turn and head back to uni so I'd take my car and we'd go home. I remember that I was just craving for a freezing shower.. Ahh.
This is the story of Majeed's album lol I don't know why I talked about it, but I guess I just wanted to write about L., and this 3 hour trip was just one of the times we went out and had an awesome time, we do nothing basically, just drive around and talk and laugh.
I remember once, we went to Shweikh-Free Zone, not for the food or anything, I guess we just ended up there while driving. We drove around inside passing by the cafes and watching people enjoy their hot or cold beverages. We passed by a few couples who were acting all gay and cute, psshh.. Perfect relationships I thought. He thought the same thing, lol I remember that right then, we made this stupid pact where we'd knew we wouldnt keep. If we turned 25 and neither of us got marrued yet, we'd get married, yes, we're desperate. But we're also very realistic, realistic not pesimistic. We knew that love wouldnt last, that those perfect lovey dovey lives wouldnt last, sooner or later, the couple would get into eachother's nerves. And eventually, ran out of shit to talk about, specially when they have nothing in common. And no, ''loving eachother so much'' isnt the whole deal, no. It's just a minor part. What about interests? Hobbies? How much you stand the bad flaws of eachother, kids? School? Family vacations? Jobs? Money? Good sex? These shit count, more than anyone could imagine. Me and him, ok so we didnt ''love'' eachother, but we had all that other shit in common. But we believed in love that comes after marriage. We'd be great parents, I know how his is. Okay, he can be childish at time, and I'd want to kill him for annoying the shit out of me, but at other times, he's supportive like fuck. Gets me dinner when I'm hungry and it's 2 am in the morning, picks me up at 8 am to take me to the airport to say my last goodbyes to a good friend of mine because I was too sleepy to drive. There's so many more stories when it comes to L. He was a genuine friend, a person I completely depended on. I loved him, he was the older brother I've always wanted to have.
This post is way too long, I need to stop. Dad just made some BBQ, damn... The smell. Oh God. It's so good. Anyways, I'll continue writing about L. and how things went downhill in my next post.
P.S. Kitten, welcome :*
Friday, March 6, 2009
Close Friends to Nothing...
Ms. XTC
So I was bored, yeah? It was like what, 9 pm? And it's Friday, and.. Wait for it.. I'm at home. Yes sir, home on a Friday night. My parents, PARENTS are having more fun than I am, at least it's fun for them. They were grocery shopping, they asked me to tag along but I just wasn't in that mood. SO I stayed at home, my youngest brother watching ''The Simpsons Movie'' And my other brother's having his mind damaged by some action movie that's totally pointless, I say pointless because I've tried sitting and watching the movie with him but shit, man.. I didn't even last then minutes. So, I thought I'd check my hotmail, I haven't read any of the emails I've received for the past couple months, gelt yalla makoo shi3'il. And in one of the emails, I got something from my aunt, this block and delete checker to see who blocked and deleted you on msn? I usually don't give a rat's ass who did that to me, but again-because I was bored- I guess curiosity got the best of me, so I typed in my email user name and waited for what's it called to load... Three seconds or so later, a couple of emails appeared, I was very surprised from two things. First, the fact that only two people thought of removing me from their msn list, the fact that I've removed a couple hundred sort of made me think they'd all remove me as well once they realised what I've done. But no, only two. The first person moo hamny ya3ni 6af wtv, so I just brushed it off, the second though.. I was just shocked, ina shako? Malaa da3eee? Ok, I admit, we had this stupid fight, barely! It was nothing, we're close friends, at least we used to be, he's a guy but when we'd hang out, we totally felt comfortable around each other, so comfortable, that I've depended on him and trusted him in so much shit. He did the same, and for a while, we had this amazing friendship where he stood up for me occasionally w kebar b3ainy and I loved and respected that person even more. But then... He just HAD to make things awkward between us, he had to. How? I don't wanna talk about all the details, but bottom line is, he asked me out, not really.. He went even further, he wanted us to be together, committed is what he said and think about our future together, but I didn't agree because it was complicated. I don't wanna explain why, it just was. And that's that. So what does he do? He decided to keep his distance and act like a total bitch, yes. A bitch. I respected that, I gave him his alone time and just waited for him to get over it, I was sure he'd get over it because he's a guy, and with guys, they get over whatever in what, a day? Then he'd come back like the bitch he is and apologize for behaving like a bitch, and we'd be close friends again. I love him, but I guess he was too much of a bitch to figure that out. I see him as a brother, nothing more. So when I saw his email, and after getting over the shock, I called me friend ''Q''. I started complaining about it and bitching about how childish my friend is, but she said that it doesn't matter and that I'm over reacting, I wasn't mad because he actually did what he did, no. I'm mad because of isalfa! It would've pissed anyone off, but no, not Q. I'm guessing she wasn't mishta6a with me because she was indulging herself with Doritos and Salsa. Yeah, bil 3afia yuma but when I call because I'm mad about something, I expect you to be mad with me, no matter how bull shitty whatever I'm saying is. You just do, because that's what friends do. They bitch together. Sheesh, do I have to write it down for you? Anyways, I don't know why I'm writing this, I guess I'm just bored, and it's been a long day of boredom, boredom, and more boredom. Yeah... Tomorrow I have to study for American Politics and American Literature, got a couple of quizzes fa badres
N. Kk
xx
Friday Afternoon
A Friday afternoon, is it? Yeah. We're all at home, dad, mom and my brothers. Mom's sick, and she's still in bed. She's never in bed, usually she'd be up at around 8 am banging the doors of our rooms and telling us to study, so it was a quiet morning today, things arent the same, she hasnt been feeling well lately, too much pressure at work-she's a doctor-and I know how kids can be a little annoying sometimes, she has us four, and sometimes, dad's the 5th. She's the ''strict'' one when it comes to parenting, nags about studying and eating in a healthy way and getting enough sleep. Dad's the one who's usually laid back and relaxed when it comes to those stuff, I'm not saying he doesnt care, ofcourse he does. But he's the kind of guy who wants his kids to sort of be independent and learn from their mistakes, mom wants to guide us, you know how mothers can be. I have three brothers, one who's 17, goes with me to Gust. He's been there for over a year now, I love having hime with me. It's weird 'cause sometimes people ask whether or not it's annoying for him to always be around, ''You live with him under one roof, you've been going to the same school for thirteen years, and now you go to the same university? Isn't it too much?'' No. I love it, me and K-that's his name-we're pretty close, I always compare for some reason, like when it comes to my friends, I look at how they're close with their siblings, and sometimes I notice that me and K. have a special brother and sister relationship, we're very open to one another, and he always always checks up on me. I admit, sometimes it's annoying, when he calls me three or four times a day just to see how I'm doing, and lectures me if I'm late outside the house, but I always think about it in a positive way, I'm very thankfull for a brother like him. Because even though he's younger than I am, a year and four months younger, he treats me like a younger sister; but sometimes, he comes to me for advice regarding everything basically, school, friendships, even relationships. I try to be there for him as much as I can, that's how we are. He's my best friend and my brother, I loves growing up with him. I remember back when we were kids in what.. Second or First grade. Man, we were always playing and running around, whats pretty amazing about this is that he's a boy, and I'm a girl, so we tend to be interested in different things, like I'd want to play house and he'd want to grab plastic weapons and run around the house, so we created our own games, and we'd spend hours playing them. And when my other brother was born, we decided to act all ''mature'' and parent-like to make sure he was safe and brought up well. Yeah, didnt work lol we bullied the shit out of him, but we loved him nevertheless, we still do. And always yell at hime to have a stronger personality and to learn to stand up for himself, he's probably the most sensitive out of all 4 of us. He's always ''nice'' and peolpe can't always be nice, it;s just not right. Not in this world atleast, but who am I to talk? I have my flaws as well, I usually give people the benefit of the doubt when they act. It's just me, even though I don't like it. I still do, and I know I won't stop, sometimes you just can't change the flaws you have, no matter how hard you try.
N. Kk
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N. Kk
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Thursday, March 5, 2009
What Life Can Be Like In My University
Gust. Yes, I said where I go to, it really doesnt matter to me, stalk me. Do whatever, that'll only show that you my dear, have no life. But yeah, Gust. Let me tell you, the lever of drama that goes on in that university, man... It can drive a complete sane person crazy! Literally. I wanna start talking about my freshman year, and we'll go on from there. I graduated back in 2006 from a Britsih school, the environment I've been in for the past thirteen years has been amazing and very home-like. I honestly considered school as my second home, my friends and the rest of the students being my siblings, and our form teacher as our parent. It's always been like this, no shit about segregation, no one's sexist, racist, and so on. Everyone actually ''stands'' everyone else and live with their flaws. We get to spend time together and learn about eachother, for God's sake, we practically live together for years until its time to graduate.
I remember the night before my graduation ceremony, I was just chilling with mom at some coffee place, and we were talking about school. There are just some stuff you wont be able to forget and let go of when you leave and start your life. What I really love about my school is that we live in this ''little community'' that's just ours, you know? No one outside can mess with that, we basically have each others' backs. No one outside can mess with that... Period. She warned me, my mom, that being in a university is not an easy thing. You won't be surrounded by all of your friends, things won't always be ''OK'', and you will most probably get hurt no matter how much you be careful. It's just life, and those four years will definitely affect who you are, the experiences you will go through and the people you meet will shape the sort of person you will become in the future. Just like you graduated from high school, you will graduate from university, one chapter ends, and a new one begins, life goes on.
Me, I graduated fall, 2006. I didn't have any ''choices'' and where to go to college, I never thought about anywhere other than Kuwait University, for years I've heard about how strong it is and what sort of academic reputation it has in the Middle East and even around the world. I hear stuff about universities, private ones in Kuwait, but just some chit chat here and there, I never actually considered any of them. So that's what I did, I signed up to be a student in KU. Biggest. Mistake. In. My. Life. Yes. The environment, the people, the professors, the students, it. Just. Wasnt. Me. I lasted a course there, yeah. At the end of it, si7abt awraagee and left. Dad sort of took care of all the paper work, now... I didn't know where I was going, where I was studying, what I knew was I was glad I left. And that was that. One morning, dad calls me from work and said he had important news, the day before, he went to Gust and took care of everything, apparently, I'm a Gust student now. Yes. Gust. First I was so shocked, maybe its because I barely heard shit about it? Like what sort of people go there and the majors they have? Yeah, but then, when it sunk in, I started to like the idea. Hell, atleast its better than going to KU where people stared at you like you're some hooker, shit, son. Why? Whhyyy? Maala da3ee!
Anyways, I remember I started my classes at 8 am, inshalla moo 8 ya3ni tawny mit5arja abee ashba3 noum, why not 10 am or something? No. 8. Thanks. It was a BA 1800 class, introduction to computers or some shit like that, basic I.T stuff where you learn about Microsoft Word w rab3a, anyways, there I met a couple of girls, one was married with a beautiful 2 year old daughter, and the other one, lets call her ''Stuck up'' :) But she was amazingly sweet, smart and hilarious. I loves hanging out with her, and suddenly, we were together all the time. Shda3wa all the time? La ya3ni during campus hours, until it was time to go home, I remember asking R. my driver to come pick me up an hour after all my classes ended. I had a driver back then because I was too young to drive, just 16 lol and Stuck up was 16 as well. Stuck up had a boyfriend with us at Gust, I loved the guy, Apple lets call him, his company moo 9ij, I'd be laughing the entire time and he gets all protective sometimes, his friend on the other hand... I had a thing for ever since I met him, he had that ''bad boy'' look, shit I always go for that kind. We hung out me and Orange (Apple's friend) and got to know each other, sometimes alone, and sometimes with the company of the rest of the group.Yeah, group.
One day I realized we were a huge bunch, we're all good friends, and I thanked God for being in this university, il jaw kan mithil jaw madresa where girls and boys were able to hang out and spend time together without anyone giving two shits about it, yeah? No. I was very wrong, I took it too far, not with my behavior or whatever, no. Bas ina when I thought ina ma7ad la shi3'il ba7ad, I was mistaken, very much mistaken. I had to learn that the hard way, how so? I'll talk about it some more, 3ala a5er il course things were still OK, but me and Orange sort of stopped talking and things got awkward between us. That created problems, we weren't able to hangout all of us together, it was just too weird for me, I know.. Childish, but I don't know, it wasn't something I was able to control. So... I kept my distance, from him and everyone else, including Stuck up ma3ana we were so damn close, shit just going back to those days, weird....
That first course was way too much for a freshman to handle, I went through so much, and to make things worse, I started hearing things about me, bad things, things a 16 year old shouldn't be hearing about herself, maala da3eeeeeeeee! Shit, I ''grew'' up that course, by the end of it at least, I heard things like me sleeping around with Orange, and me hanging out at his apartment dasha 6al3a minha, inshalla maroo7 kil shway shi8ita, but yeah, I took everything they've said and just stayed quiet, I just assumed that everyone who goes into this uni will hear stuff about them sooner or later, and I guess what I heard was sooner, but it's cool. Took it like a man :) And didn't make any problems.
That summer, I've made important decisions, I decided to not act like I've done last course, I don't wanna be surrounded by people who might talk about me, or people where I might have my reputation ruined because of. It just wasn't worth it and I knew that what I'll be doing for the next few years is the right thing to do,and if my friends felt offended because I wouldn't be with them most of the time, then that's their problem, and they wouldn't be ''real'' friends after all. Right? I guess they weren't. I'm going to stop now, man, this post is so long, I guess I just have so much to talk about when it comes to Gust, and this shit is only whats been happening the first course, theres alot more coming, and as I go on, there will be more people involved and more 'wei3's I went through, oh well
That's life I guess
I remember the night before my graduation ceremony, I was just chilling with mom at some coffee place, and we were talking about school. There are just some stuff you wont be able to forget and let go of when you leave and start your life. What I really love about my school is that we live in this ''little community'' that's just ours, you know? No one outside can mess with that, we basically have each others' backs. No one outside can mess with that... Period. She warned me, my mom, that being in a university is not an easy thing. You won't be surrounded by all of your friends, things won't always be ''OK'', and you will most probably get hurt no matter how much you be careful. It's just life, and those four years will definitely affect who you are, the experiences you will go through and the people you meet will shape the sort of person you will become in the future. Just like you graduated from high school, you will graduate from university, one chapter ends, and a new one begins, life goes on.
Me, I graduated fall, 2006. I didn't have any ''choices'' and where to go to college, I never thought about anywhere other than Kuwait University, for years I've heard about how strong it is and what sort of academic reputation it has in the Middle East and even around the world. I hear stuff about universities, private ones in Kuwait, but just some chit chat here and there, I never actually considered any of them. So that's what I did, I signed up to be a student in KU. Biggest. Mistake. In. My. Life. Yes. The environment, the people, the professors, the students, it. Just. Wasnt. Me. I lasted a course there, yeah. At the end of it, si7abt awraagee and left. Dad sort of took care of all the paper work, now... I didn't know where I was going, where I was studying, what I knew was I was glad I left. And that was that. One morning, dad calls me from work and said he had important news, the day before, he went to Gust and took care of everything, apparently, I'm a Gust student now. Yes. Gust. First I was so shocked, maybe its because I barely heard shit about it? Like what sort of people go there and the majors they have? Yeah, but then, when it sunk in, I started to like the idea. Hell, atleast its better than going to KU where people stared at you like you're some hooker, shit, son. Why? Whhyyy? Maala da3ee!
Anyways, I remember I started my classes at 8 am, inshalla moo 8 ya3ni tawny mit5arja abee ashba3 noum, why not 10 am or something? No. 8. Thanks. It was a BA 1800 class, introduction to computers or some shit like that, basic I.T stuff where you learn about Microsoft Word w rab3a, anyways, there I met a couple of girls, one was married with a beautiful 2 year old daughter, and the other one, lets call her ''Stuck up'' :) But she was amazingly sweet, smart and hilarious. I loves hanging out with her, and suddenly, we were together all the time. Shda3wa all the time? La ya3ni during campus hours, until it was time to go home, I remember asking R. my driver to come pick me up an hour after all my classes ended. I had a driver back then because I was too young to drive, just 16 lol and Stuck up was 16 as well. Stuck up had a boyfriend with us at Gust, I loved the guy, Apple lets call him, his company moo 9ij, I'd be laughing the entire time and he gets all protective sometimes, his friend on the other hand... I had a thing for ever since I met him, he had that ''bad boy'' look, shit I always go for that kind. We hung out me and Orange (Apple's friend) and got to know each other, sometimes alone, and sometimes with the company of the rest of the group.Yeah, group.
One day I realized we were a huge bunch, we're all good friends, and I thanked God for being in this university, il jaw kan mithil jaw madresa where girls and boys were able to hang out and spend time together without anyone giving two shits about it, yeah? No. I was very wrong, I took it too far, not with my behavior or whatever, no. Bas ina when I thought ina ma7ad la shi3'il ba7ad, I was mistaken, very much mistaken. I had to learn that the hard way, how so? I'll talk about it some more, 3ala a5er il course things were still OK, but me and Orange sort of stopped talking and things got awkward between us. That created problems, we weren't able to hangout all of us together, it was just too weird for me, I know.. Childish, but I don't know, it wasn't something I was able to control. So... I kept my distance, from him and everyone else, including Stuck up ma3ana we were so damn close, shit just going back to those days, weird....
That first course was way too much for a freshman to handle, I went through so much, and to make things worse, I started hearing things about me, bad things, things a 16 year old shouldn't be hearing about herself, maala da3eeeeeeeee! Shit, I ''grew'' up that course, by the end of it at least, I heard things like me sleeping around with Orange, and me hanging out at his apartment dasha 6al3a minha, inshalla maroo7 kil shway shi8ita, but yeah, I took everything they've said and just stayed quiet, I just assumed that everyone who goes into this uni will hear stuff about them sooner or later, and I guess what I heard was sooner, but it's cool. Took it like a man :) And didn't make any problems.
That summer, I've made important decisions, I decided to not act like I've done last course, I don't wanna be surrounded by people who might talk about me, or people where I might have my reputation ruined because of. It just wasn't worth it and I knew that what I'll be doing for the next few years is the right thing to do,and if my friends felt offended because I wouldn't be with them most of the time, then that's their problem, and they wouldn't be ''real'' friends after all. Right? I guess they weren't. I'm going to stop now, man, this post is so long, I guess I just have so much to talk about when it comes to Gust, and this shit is only whats been happening the first course, theres alot more coming, and as I go on, there will be more people involved and more 'wei3's I went through, oh well
That's life I guess
N. kk
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