1- I miss Kuwait's weather, dust mixed with dust, the smell of dust along with sweat, ciggaretes, car engines, bad breath, you know. The usuall. I miss it.
2- I miss Ms. Sunshine calling and asking me to call her from my place to talk about useless bullshit.
3- I miss our green - not blue - sea.
4- I miss the feeling I had while I planned what I had in mind for Wednesday, supposedly today.
5- I have a research paper, most of it is due on Sunday, and I'm not in the country. Bottom line, I'm fucked.
6- I miss F/z. I didn't see her before I travelled. Shit.
7- I'm so angry because of what one of my profs said when I told her that I had to excuse myself because I have a plane to catch. She said something like "You don't realise you're in the danger zone now" since I just got my 2nd warning because of my attendance, or lack of it? Bitch. I have a family emergency. She said she wants proof that I'm not travelling for pleasure, but because I have family issues. Your mum's vagina. Yeah, your mum's.
8- I apprecite what my other professors said, the way they were supportive, nice.
9- I miss mum calling me when I'm at Gust, or banging my door in the weekends to wake me up, or just being there at home.
10- A.T is hot and cold. Do I give three camel's poops? No. Why? Because I'm too old and tired for guys' attitudes. Ms. Sunshine knows what I'm talking about.
W Salamatkum..
P.S. Lilo, you better start feeling better, or so help me God. I will hunt the fucker down, rip his intestines out, fry 'em, feed 'em to him, and scare him until he shits 'em. Then do the process all over again, while video taping the entire thing so we can laugh after? Do me a great favor, feel better so I wouldn't have to go through all that trouble. I love you <3
P.S 2. What's that movie? Nicholas Cage's? Knowing? I wanna see it, soon inshalla. With Ms. Sunshine <3 I miss her... And Kk. Whatever.
Goodnight
N. -Kk
xx
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Weezy F. Baby & The "F" Is For A Bunch Of Shit. Red Drank, Blue Pill, White Dust! Yes I Love My Country, Bitch.
I just poked my right eye so hard! Seriously, fucking hurts, man! Aaaaa7! And K., my brother was laughing his ass off? 7mar, it really does hurt! I started tearing up, not from il 3awaar though, but because my hands were dusty and like... I don't know, 7asaseya? Chub. Y'all know what I'm saying. Hfft. You know what I need right now? Ms. Q, what was that drink we got from Caribue? Passion Fruit Smoothy with wildberry? Madree, but SHIT IT WAS SO GOOD! <3 My new favorite drink. So yeah, Ms. Q calls me yesterday, and asks what are plans are, ofcourse. We always make plans during the weekends, like we need more people saying we're lesbians, it's not enough that we hang out during the week, before, during, and after classes. No, we do it in the weekends as well, keifhum. I love spending time with her, what we do is so fucking pointless, it's not even funny <3 So yeah, I told her I have a class at 2, fa let's so something gabil? She agreed, I met her at Gust parking at around 12 and we drove off, ri7na Caribue - Free Zone!
Everyone was studying -.- I'm just glad we got our books, man. We wouldn've felt tiny or stupid if we haven't. Yup. And while we were in so much denial, holding our books and trying to focus, who walks in? This dude who used to work for mama, he's in his mid twenties, 7ada yum? I've seen him a few times where my mom works, and she introduced me to him the first time. So everytime I'd go there to see umi, he'd be there and I'd say hi because I'm nice. He's so shy, though! Barely any eye contact, and mom keeps talking about him at home for the past couple of years? Like na8za marry the guy? Not because we'd get along and act all "I love you" and shit, no. Because, she just wants him to be her son in law, she really does love him, I don't blame her. He's effin hot. Il muhim, as soon as he walked in, he gave me the "Erm... I think I know her, should I go say hi?" kind of look. And I gave him the "Oh, you! I know you, mom's ass wiper! Ta3al, ta3al! Say hello to me, marry me, you're hot, I heart you <3" look. No contact, no talking, thanks. He just sat at the corner, but the thing is, everytime I'd look at his direction, I'd spot him from the corner of my eyes, and he'd be looking but pretending to be reading as well? Ms. Q made fun of him lana moo 3ajibha! O.o 3ala keifich? He's just so adorable, and what I like about him is that he's such a hard worker! I love that about guys, he doesn't waste his time, and the looks are just a plus <3
Anyways!!!!! As he got up to get another cup of coffee, he approaches us, and here, I'm all hyperventilating, like what the fuck? What are you doing to me, my darling? I just hope that I looked fine, so he came, and stood infront of me with a smile. "Erm, sorry bas intay bint... mentions mom's name?" He asks, getla yeah I am, and he smiled again, that smile, man! It was awesome, kint bagari9 5dooda! Gushy mushy pushy!!!! Wei3. Let's call him Mr. Gar3a, yeah? Okay. *Stops, A.T calling right now, 7adee mnafsa 3aleih, wei3.. I hate it when I'm like this, seriously! Shakoo anafes 3aleih? Because mga9er ma3ay? because he didn't call today? Shinu ya3ni? He's not my boyfriend, damn! I'm telling him I have work to do, and now I'm typing it down. Great, I need to hang up. I did. After saying bye.*
He so knows I'm mad as shit at him. Okay, moving on.
Salfa thanya? I'm thinking, this post is so fucking pointless, oh! Ms. Q wasn't feeling well today! At all! 7aram :O 7ayaty, I kept asking if she needed anything, I took her home 'cause her Moz. wouldn't start, then I picked her up after my class, she felt a bit better, but then felt worse! I was going to cry! I hated seeing her that way, seriously.. She was just fine that morning, but she did feel a bit sick last night. Bleh! Mara7 a5aleeha takil min bara again, fuck food poisoning! You know what I hate about Gust parking? The speed bumps! Why, God? Why did they have to put them? And what's even worse is that they're tiny, they fuck up my car! Ma3tirif feehim though, so I don't slow down ;D Yeah, all my friends complain about my attitude towards ma6abaz, I. Hate. Them. Them, and traffic lights, yellow is green to me, yo. That's that. You know what I miss? My iPod! <3 It's with Bader, my friend, he's such a buttocks. I asked him to feed it songs and songs and more songs, but I haven't seen him in so long! I miss him too, sure.
Kitten and I left during our break today for our alone time, we went to McD's and had lunch there, I called L. and asked him to join us, he did. I haven't seen him in a while, 7mar. But the thing is, he came in a white Range, that's not his car, kalb he drives a black one, hmmm... Who was in the car with him? My cosine. Why? Why did he have to bring her? They're good friends and all, but we don't get along, actually I don't get along with family from my dad's side. So why? To make things akward? He'd do that just to push my buttons. But thank God, she didn't get out of the car, he was just coming for a few minutes lana kint abee sha3'la minah and catch up, fa I'm guessing he didn't tell her he's meeting us. A7san, I don't want her to know, tsaweely salfa, she's all possisive and stuff. And keeps talking shit about me? What the...? But I ignore everything, keifha. Whore. Family ties, my ass. She can shove the ties up hers. Inzein? Wei3. Wa95a (Kilmat Ms. Q)
By the way, more and more people are getting tanned at Gust, we notice 'em everyday! And us? No. Why? Because God doesn't want us to tan, no. Everytime we decide to the night before, Ms. Q and I, the day after turns out to be dusty or humid or madri shinu! ;/ Wei3, no? 7ada! :O Blehhh... We just made plans, naby tomorrow, let's just hope and see. I'll pray for some sunshine tonight, yes. It's karma, that's it. We do bad things, and karma bites us in the ass like a fucking hound dog. I've been reading this novel the past few days, it's called High Noon 7ag Nora Roberts, Lilo, you like reading. You'll love this author, 7adha shebangbang, man. I love her work <3 WHITE C. shifta ilyoum!!!!! Did I make a big deal about it then? No, because I was alone, and I'd just look stupid ishti6iying about it alone, so yeah. I didn't say anything, but aaaaah I will now. He really is yum! But Ms. Q isn't his biggest fan because she thinks he looks like a sister of a friend of ours? What the fuck...? How? He's so beautiful <3
Anywho, I parked my car at 10 AM this morning, and ofcourse, he was standing outside 9oub il Parking at West. "Waiting for me" Ihem *coughs* He was having a smoke with his friend, so because I'm an ass, and I'm crazy about him, I pass by RIGHT next to him, but it wasn't ashkara kilish! We brushed shoulders <3 Wei3, why am I all psyched up about it? Shda3wa? I'm not 13. But shasawee?! He's like that! ;D Enough about him, wei3. I don't like him that much anyways, and plus, his woman's cheating on him. Shift'ha ams at Gust loving doving someone else, why would I assume they're not friends and she's cheating on White C., you say? Because they were super close and he was OBVIOUSLY flirting with her and she was all shy and shit, gross. *Sticks finger down throat and throws up* Not really. Keifhum, he's probably a player as well. Whatever. Guys suck balls. They're just horrible.
I have 4 articles due in for my 8 AM class tomorrow, bitch. She gives us so much shit to handle in just a couple of days, and I barely did anything? No, I didn't even start. Bas il website maftoo7, ti3abt. I was about to!!!!! Before I noticed that Stitch wrote a new post, if I fail this course, she shall be blamed. Yes. Kila minha, Lilo2o zifeeha, yeah? Kick, please. Thanks ;* Oh and yeah, Fz my best friend called me today, and while we were talking, she asked if I sent our friend a message during the weekend for her birthday. I felt so bad because I haven't! Mainly because I didn't even know it was her birthday, but I shouldn've known! She's been my friend for about six years now! Inshalla athabit! I'm like that, I suck with dates and birthdays and all that :| *Pokes her other eye* Is it too late to send a happy belated now? I mean, it's been a couple of days, not a very long time since. No? Fashla? I know! 7ada! But Fz was like "You should ya 7mara, it's better than nothing! Just send her a message" so yeah, I will.
And BY THE WAY! I hate the forward text messages they keep sending about the dudes ilee yrash7oon nafis'hum! I don't care where your effin ma8ar is, I have more serious shit to take care of, like school work! Wei3, wa95een. I'm not pms-ing, that's the funny thing. Just the shitty mood.
I'm off, ba5ali9 hazift ilee 3andee for the morning w banam. A.T can call min ilyoum lei bacher, I'm not gonna answer 'cause nigga please, don't act like an ass with me. I hate it. As soon as I hung up from him tawa, dasheit 3ala Ms. Q online and...
N. -Kk says:
A.T just called, i so nafast 3aleih, i feel bad
Ms. Q says:
loooool
why'd you do it if you feel bad
N. -Kk says:
la2ana!!!!! t5ayilay he didnt call me ilyoum kilish at all. Even after he sent me msg saying he's gonna call before work and he didnt. I need attention, okay? Oh and by the way, u havent seen him in three days? Not that he'd give three shits.
Ms. Q says:
wow...
N. -Kk says:
what?
Ms. Q says:
i thought you didnt care but you do
N. -Kk says:
what? i dont
just saying..
Queen de vous says:
uhha
...
N. -Kk says:
we'll see, i won't call or text today..
Ms. Q says:
or tomorrow, wait for him, n if he's like where've you been you say you've been busy or you left your phone at home, use a stupid excuse like his stupid face.
N. -Kk says:
LOOOOL dat's funnyyyyy! He has a game now, like in 15 mins. he's like what you doing? i was like just studying, then bed. he was like tabeen a5aleech tadriseen? i was like yeah? bye.. he's like oh, okay. bye. tara i wanna complain, i wanna bitch about it.. inzein? i'm glad you're reading this, thank you.
Ms. Q says:
lol i am
010
And the conversation goes on about shoes and plans for tomorrow.
Inzein, bas. Gargart waajid. I wanna go to sleep, maybe I should ;D And fuck my work, yeah? Okay. Yup, that's the plan.
P.S. Kk had a hair cut.. Just saying. He looked at me today, just saying. I miss him, just saying..
Good night.
N. -Kk
xx
Everyone was studying -.- I'm just glad we got our books, man. We wouldn've felt tiny or stupid if we haven't. Yup. And while we were in so much denial, holding our books and trying to focus, who walks in? This dude who used to work for mama, he's in his mid twenties, 7ada yum? I've seen him a few times where my mom works, and she introduced me to him the first time. So everytime I'd go there to see umi, he'd be there and I'd say hi because I'm nice. He's so shy, though! Barely any eye contact, and mom keeps talking about him at home for the past couple of years? Like na8za marry the guy? Not because we'd get along and act all "I love you" and shit, no. Because, she just wants him to be her son in law, she really does love him, I don't blame her. He's effin hot. Il muhim, as soon as he walked in, he gave me the "Erm... I think I know her, should I go say hi?" kind of look. And I gave him the "Oh, you! I know you, mom's ass wiper! Ta3al, ta3al! Say hello to me, marry me, you're hot, I heart you <3" look. No contact, no talking, thanks. He just sat at the corner, but the thing is, everytime I'd look at his direction, I'd spot him from the corner of my eyes, and he'd be looking but pretending to be reading as well? Ms. Q made fun of him lana moo 3ajibha! O.o 3ala keifich? He's just so adorable, and what I like about him is that he's such a hard worker! I love that about guys, he doesn't waste his time, and the looks are just a plus <3
Anyways!!!!! As he got up to get another cup of coffee, he approaches us, and here, I'm all hyperventilating, like what the fuck? What are you doing to me, my darling? I just hope that I looked fine, so he came, and stood infront of me with a smile. "Erm, sorry bas intay bint... mentions mom's name?" He asks, getla yeah I am, and he smiled again, that smile, man! It was awesome, kint bagari9 5dooda! Gushy mushy pushy!!!! Wei3. Let's call him Mr. Gar3a, yeah? Okay. *Stops, A.T calling right now, 7adee mnafsa 3aleih, wei3.. I hate it when I'm like this, seriously! Shakoo anafes 3aleih? Because mga9er ma3ay? because he didn't call today? Shinu ya3ni? He's not my boyfriend, damn! I'm telling him I have work to do, and now I'm typing it down. Great, I need to hang up. I did. After saying bye.*
He so knows I'm mad as shit at him. Okay, moving on.
Salfa thanya? I'm thinking, this post is so fucking pointless, oh! Ms. Q wasn't feeling well today! At all! 7aram :O 7ayaty, I kept asking if she needed anything, I took her home 'cause her Moz. wouldn't start, then I picked her up after my class, she felt a bit better, but then felt worse! I was going to cry! I hated seeing her that way, seriously.. She was just fine that morning, but she did feel a bit sick last night. Bleh! Mara7 a5aleeha takil min bara again, fuck food poisoning! You know what I hate about Gust parking? The speed bumps! Why, God? Why did they have to put them? And what's even worse is that they're tiny, they fuck up my car! Ma3tirif feehim though, so I don't slow down ;D Yeah, all my friends complain about my attitude towards ma6abaz, I. Hate. Them. Them, and traffic lights, yellow is green to me, yo. That's that. You know what I miss? My iPod! <3 It's with Bader, my friend, he's such a buttocks. I asked him to feed it songs and songs and more songs, but I haven't seen him in so long! I miss him too, sure.
Kitten and I left during our break today for our alone time, we went to McD's and had lunch there, I called L. and asked him to join us, he did. I haven't seen him in a while, 7mar. But the thing is, he came in a white Range, that's not his car, kalb he drives a black one, hmmm... Who was in the car with him? My cosine. Why? Why did he have to bring her? They're good friends and all, but we don't get along, actually I don't get along with family from my dad's side. So why? To make things akward? He'd do that just to push my buttons. But thank God, she didn't get out of the car, he was just coming for a few minutes lana kint abee sha3'la minah and catch up, fa I'm guessing he didn't tell her he's meeting us. A7san, I don't want her to know, tsaweely salfa, she's all possisive and stuff. And keeps talking shit about me? What the...? But I ignore everything, keifha. Whore. Family ties, my ass. She can shove the ties up hers. Inzein? Wei3. Wa95a (Kilmat Ms. Q)
By the way, more and more people are getting tanned at Gust, we notice 'em everyday! And us? No. Why? Because God doesn't want us to tan, no. Everytime we decide to the night before, Ms. Q and I, the day after turns out to be dusty or humid or madri shinu! ;/ Wei3, no? 7ada! :O Blehhh... We just made plans, naby tomorrow, let's just hope and see. I'll pray for some sunshine tonight, yes. It's karma, that's it. We do bad things, and karma bites us in the ass like a fucking hound dog. I've been reading this novel the past few days, it's called High Noon 7ag Nora Roberts, Lilo, you like reading. You'll love this author, 7adha shebangbang, man. I love her work <3 WHITE C. shifta ilyoum!!!!! Did I make a big deal about it then? No, because I was alone, and I'd just look stupid ishti6iying about it alone, so yeah. I didn't say anything, but aaaaah I will now. He really is yum! But Ms. Q isn't his biggest fan because she thinks he looks like a sister of a friend of ours? What the fuck...? How? He's so beautiful <3
Anywho, I parked my car at 10 AM this morning, and ofcourse, he was standing outside 9oub il Parking at West. "Waiting for me" Ihem *coughs* He was having a smoke with his friend, so because I'm an ass, and I'm crazy about him, I pass by RIGHT next to him, but it wasn't ashkara kilish! We brushed shoulders <3 Wei3, why am I all psyched up about it? Shda3wa? I'm not 13. But shasawee?! He's like that! ;D Enough about him, wei3. I don't like him that much anyways, and plus, his woman's cheating on him. Shift'ha ams at Gust loving doving someone else, why would I assume they're not friends and she's cheating on White C., you say? Because they were super close and he was OBVIOUSLY flirting with her and she was all shy and shit, gross. *Sticks finger down throat and throws up* Not really. Keifhum, he's probably a player as well. Whatever. Guys suck balls. They're just horrible.
I have 4 articles due in for my 8 AM class tomorrow, bitch. She gives us so much shit to handle in just a couple of days, and I barely did anything? No, I didn't even start. Bas il website maftoo7, ti3abt. I was about to!!!!! Before I noticed that Stitch wrote a new post, if I fail this course, she shall be blamed. Yes. Kila minha, Lilo2o zifeeha, yeah? Kick, please. Thanks ;* Oh and yeah, Fz my best friend called me today, and while we were talking, she asked if I sent our friend a message during the weekend for her birthday. I felt so bad because I haven't! Mainly because I didn't even know it was her birthday, but I shouldn've known! She's been my friend for about six years now! Inshalla athabit! I'm like that, I suck with dates and birthdays and all that :| *Pokes her other eye* Is it too late to send a happy belated now? I mean, it's been a couple of days, not a very long time since. No? Fashla? I know! 7ada! But Fz was like "You should ya 7mara, it's better than nothing! Just send her a message" so yeah, I will.
And BY THE WAY! I hate the forward text messages they keep sending about the dudes ilee yrash7oon nafis'hum! I don't care where your effin ma8ar is, I have more serious shit to take care of, like school work! Wei3, wa95een. I'm not pms-ing, that's the funny thing. Just the shitty mood.
I'm off, ba5ali9 hazift ilee 3andee for the morning w banam. A.T can call min ilyoum lei bacher, I'm not gonna answer 'cause nigga please, don't act like an ass with me. I hate it. As soon as I hung up from him tawa, dasheit 3ala Ms. Q online and...
N. -Kk says:
A.T just called, i so nafast 3aleih, i feel bad
Ms. Q says:
loooool
why'd you do it if you feel bad
N. -Kk says:
la2ana!!!!! t5ayilay he didnt call me ilyoum kilish at all. Even after he sent me msg saying he's gonna call before work and he didnt. I need attention, okay? Oh and by the way, u havent seen him in three days? Not that he'd give three shits.
Ms. Q says:
wow...
N. -Kk says:
what?
Ms. Q says:
i thought you didnt care but you do
N. -Kk says:
what? i dont
just saying..
Queen de vous says:
uhha
...
N. -Kk says:
we'll see, i won't call or text today..
Ms. Q says:
or tomorrow, wait for him, n if he's like where've you been you say you've been busy or you left your phone at home, use a stupid excuse like his stupid face.
N. -Kk says:
LOOOOL dat's funnyyyyy! He has a game now, like in 15 mins. he's like what you doing? i was like just studying, then bed. he was like tabeen a5aleech tadriseen? i was like yeah? bye.. he's like oh, okay. bye. tara i wanna complain, i wanna bitch about it.. inzein? i'm glad you're reading this, thank you.
Ms. Q says:
lol i am
010
And the conversation goes on about shoes and plans for tomorrow.
Inzein, bas. Gargart waajid. I wanna go to sleep, maybe I should ;D And fuck my work, yeah? Okay. Yup, that's the plan.
P.S. Kk had a hair cut.. Just saying. He looked at me today, just saying. I miss him, just saying..
Good night.
N. -Kk
xx
Friday, May 8, 2009
Hold Heart, Don't Beat So Loud - Part Eight: 'Cause After All, I'm Not The One Who Lost. She Lost Him.
"Are you ready to talk about it, sweetie?" Dee asked. We just arrived home, still in the car, I could barely hear her voice, not to mention listen to what she's been saying on the way back. It was all a blur, everything that has happened the past hour or so. The woman, what she's said, how I managed to walk to the car. It was all very unreal... I needed to talk to him, I needed to ask him questions. I needed to make him porve to me that this is not true, what I've heard is a lie. I needed him. I didn't say anything to Deena. As soon as she turned the car off, I opened the door, and made my way to the house, my home, leaving all the bags in the car. I wanted to be alone, but I knew Deena wouldn't leave, just like that. Since she had an extra key to our place, she unlocked the door and gently placed her hand on my back to nudge me inside and up the stairs, before my sister or mother could catch a glimpse of me, I heard their voices in the kitchen laughing, that was their "mother and daughter" time, I sometimes envied my sister because of it.
As soon as I walked in my bedroom, Deena turned on the lights and opened the drapes, I took my sunglasses off and the strong sun shined every corner of my room. I finally spoke. "Dee.." "Hala galby, shfeech? Please, talk to me." She replied, God. What would I do without her? Everytime something happened, everytime I had to go through a problem, she'd be there, helping me stand, she'd be there making it all better, she's my rock. And right then, the waterworks started, I couldn't help it. I just couldn't keep it in any longer, it was a surprise to me that I was able to hold myself until this moment, but now... I just couldn't any longer. She gathered me in when I turned to her, gathered me up when I began to sob. She pulled me to the bed, and I sat with her cradled in her arms. And she held me there, while the storm raged through.
That night...
I didn't touch my phone, I was glad it was on Silent mode, so I didn't hear a thing. Dee left a few hours after we came back home, she did everything she had to do, listened to me, supported me, held me while I cried. She never pushed or pressured me into talking, Deena tried a few times to help me speak, to ask me what was in my head, but it didn't do any good. I had the words in my head, the thoughts, but I just couldnt for the life of me put them into sentences, I knew that whatever would come out of my mouth wouldn't even make sense. So I just stayed quiet, until I fell asleep in her arms. She left me a note by my bed stand, "You just slept, I'ma take off. But baby, please.. Don't do this to yourself, you need to understand everything before all of this. I don't want you to cry, okay? Promise me you'll text me when you're up? I'll get breakfast and come tomorrow, we'll talk then. I love you really really."
I did what she asked me to do, I sent her a message right after reading her note. "I'm up hunn, thank you for everything. I'll see you in the morning, love you really really right back."
The lights were off, the only light was from the lamp next to me, I closed it and closed my eyes. I laid back in bed, staring at the dark cieling, there was light on my right. It was my cell, someone was calling. I grabbed it and looked at the Caller ID, Khaled... No. I'm not answering the phone. Why should I? He's a liar, a manipulative sonofabitch, why should I? And right then, I looked at the number of missed calls. 15 from Khaled. He's been calling me all day, along with the messages, shakal 3alay with everything, and he's still calling. It didn't feel right, this wasn't right, something's wrong. It was a feeling in me, my insticts were up, and Khaled would be sorry, damn sorry he was the person who incited them.
After breakast with Dee, after talking everything through, I felt slightly better. "You look like shit" was the first thing she'd told me after I opened the door for her. I curbed my lips into a small smile and embraced her hug, she smelled like heaven, like she's spent hours in the kitchen baking, I was right. I looked down, and she was holding a box of home made chocolate chip cookies, some breakfast, she knew me too well. "My favorite, come on in. No one's home." I said as I pulled her in to close the door, I didn't have the energy to change so I was still in my pj's. My hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and she was right. As we made our ways into the living room, I took a quick look at myself in the mirror, I did look like shit. Did I care? No, not at the moment, it was the last thing on my mind. I barely had any sleep last night, Khaled wouldn't stop pushing. The calls, the constant messages, he just wouldn't back the fuck off of me! I was over the "feeling sorry for myself and being all heart broken" phase, I was just plain pissed now. Mad as hell, waby abared chabdee, I needed to see him, I wanted him to confront me and be honest. Yes. That was the plan, this evening.
After Deena left, I went upstairs and took a hot bath. Exactly what I needed to get all the tension and pain off my muscles, I sent Khaled a message just before I took off my robe and laid down on the hot water. "Meet me tonight at eight. Our place. Stop calling and texting, we'll talk then. Just be there if you have any respect for what we had." A minute later, he replied. I knew it was him, I just knew, and I was right.
1 New Message: Khaled Al M.
Intay weinich?! I've been calling you since yesterday! What the hell is wrong with you? Ta7gireeny?! Shfeech? Sh9ayer?! Why tonight? Why not now? Talk to me, shit. You freaked me out! I've been worried sick!
I didn't reply, I could feel the back of my eyes burning, I wanted to cry. But didn't. I turned my phone off, and sunk in the hot water until only my face could touch the air. It made me feel better, the heat. It made me feel better.
The following night...
I woke up after sleeping for three hours, it was plenty. Even during my sleep, I could feel my muscles intense, contrasting only to relax moments later, I could feel a huge ball in my chest, full of anger, fear of what's coming, anticipating the worst. I always did that, I always expected the worst in everything so I wouldn't be surprised, I just never got my hopes up. This way, no one is capable of hurting me, not even Khaled.
I wore a pair of faded blue jeans torn above one side of the knees, a white plain t-shirt, white sandals and lifted my hair into a tidy pony tail. No effort, simplicity. What was the point of dressing up? No. I quickly grabbed my keys and phone and ran down the stairs. Again, no one was home. No surprise there. 15 minutes later, I arrived at the beach. His car was there, waiting for me. I got closer and parked mine right next to it, then turned it off, I looked inside, he wasn't there. He must be sitting at one of the benches close by. I got out of the car after turning on my phone and walked to the nearest bench, yes. He was there, standing, walking around it, pasing back and forth, worried? Maybe.
"Hi"
He turned around to face me, yes. He was worried, it showed in his face, his body language, it was all very clear to me. He couldn't lie about that, there's just no way in hell. Pitiful. He got closer quickly, but I didn't move an inch. Khaled put his strong arms around me, around my waist and squeezed so tight I couldn't breathe properly. I didn't rap my arms around him this time, I didn't move my arms, nothing. i just stood there, frozen, waiting for him to let go. When he didnt, I moved away, nothing gentle about it, I placed my arms on his chest and moved away without saying a thing. "Danah, 7abeebty shfeech? Fahmeeny sh9ayer?!" He shot at me, strong emotions escaping from him, he was angry. I breathed in and out, cleared my throat, and spoke. I hoped to God I was cool, I didn't want my voice to shake. "Have you been spreading lies about me to people?" I asked. The question - so forward - managed to shake every fiber of his being, he seemed caught off guard with what I've said. Exactly the effect I was looking for. Exactly what I wanted to see. He was queit for a moment, then answered my question with another question. "Come again? What did you say?" Khaled's face was cool and blank now, so that the black of his eyes burned all the stronger against it.
"Why would you think I've been talking about you?" He was shouting. I looked around for a few seconds making sure no one was near by, thank God. There wasnt a soul. I told him everything, the woman who approached Deena and I, what she said, how she said it, the looks of disgust and fury on her face, what I went through the previous night. And all the while, he was silent, not a single word crept out from his lips. But he didn't need to speak, the looks in his eyes said it all. When I was done, after saying everything I had to say, he gave me his back and walked away a few steps, looking at the beach, my knees were too weak to keep me standing upright, I sat right down on the bench next to me. Head in his hands, I could hear him breathe out a sigh, he wasn't mad anymore. Khaled was in pain, I could feel it, it was very obvious. He turned around and approached me, leaning down, and holding my legs, focusing on my eyes. "Listen to me, I have something to tell you. But you have to promise me you'll stay quiet until I'm done, then and only then you can say what you're thinking. Should you feel like grabbing your key and shoving it in my skull, you go right ahead and do that. But I know you, you're smart and rational, and you'll know what the right thing to do is. So please, listen carefuly."
His eyes finally let go of the strong hold they had on mine, and I looked away from him. What's going on? This is getting more confusing by the second. But I wanted to hear it, all of it. He started talking.
"I have this friend, she's a friend of my ex girlfriend, and we're still in touch, because I met her before meeting my ex, so when we broke up, I realised there was no point in ending a friendship with her, they're completely different people. So we stayed close, I know her parents, she knows mine. I go over at times for lunch, I fish with her dad and brothers, she's my sister. A really, really good friend." Then he paused, looked at the ground. A sad smile painted his face, I looked at him, nudging him to go on, he did. "She's the girl who came up to you at Starbucks, the way you described her, blonde hair, tight clothes, yup. That's Manar for ya." Amusement on his face. "I'm guessing she read your messages while she was looking through my phone, she does that sometimes. It never bothered me because I trusted her completely. But my ex, Dalal... She's her best friend. And I'm sure her protective insticts played a role, she must've opened my Gallry as well as looked at one of the pictures you and I have taken, that's how she recognised you. She knew you were the reason I wouldn't get back to Dalal, you were the reason I kept rejecting her cries and her begging me to get back together. I didn't want her, a corrupted relationship, which started out as trust and ended in hate. I don't love her anymore, I have feelings for someone else, I have feelings for you. Manar obviously thought this through, and when she saw you, she wanted to grab the opportunity to tell you that I've been trash talking you in my university and Dewaniyas. Baby, look at me." Khaled asked, holding my chin to face him. I had tears in my eyes, I tried holding them back, I didn't want to be weak infront of Khaled. No, but everything that I've heard... Who would do such nasty things? Manar's supposed to be his friend, his sister, why would she ruin a relationship between two people? Because she's best friends with Dalal? Khaled's ex? I felt my cheecks flush, I'll be damned if I let those two bitches screw up what I have with Khaled, he's mine. Determination, that's what I had, to make 'us' work.
"I understand. I'm glad you told me all of this, I mean... Wow... She's your friend." I finally said. He helped me stand up. "You should trust me, shame on you for believing complete strangers witchathbeeny ana, I'm your boyfriend. And if there's anything you doubt of, anything you hear or see and need to discuss, you should come and talk to me right away, not ignore me until you have the urge to know the whole truth. Our relationship is based on trust, that's how we complete each other, okay? Can you look at me straight in the eyes and promise me that you'll trust me from now on forward?"
I looked at him straight in the eyes and said two words. "I promise" And he held my hands to walk me to my car, we were standing outside. I was leaning against it. He wiped away the tears falling down my cheecks and gave me a hug. Just what I needed to complete this conversation. I noticed him looking around, eyes like a hawk's, looking, checking to see if anyone was around. Oh boy. "Khaled, what's wrong?" I asked, and before the last word was all the way out, he grabbed me. He had his mouth on mine, showing me what he wanted, taking what he wanted with an impatient part of him he rarely set free. Hunger pushed and shoved at temper until his mouth ravaged mine. My back pressed back against the car, and my hands were rapped between his body and mine. Every muscle in my body quivered. But not in protest, not in fear. There was a difference between fear and thrill, and I understood it then. When he broke off, there was such heat in his eyes. It was my move now, all mine. My hands were free so I hooked one arm around his neck, pulling him to me again. When he pressed me against the car again, he nipped at my lip, rocking his hips against mine. I let the pleasure flood me after a very bad day and a half. The feel of his hands on me, the feel of the night air on my skin, it was all overwhelming. The glorious sensation that rolled through us and escaped... I didn't let go.
To be continued...
P.S. Too much, Ms. Q? ;p
As soon as I walked in my bedroom, Deena turned on the lights and opened the drapes, I took my sunglasses off and the strong sun shined every corner of my room. I finally spoke. "Dee.." "Hala galby, shfeech? Please, talk to me." She replied, God. What would I do without her? Everytime something happened, everytime I had to go through a problem, she'd be there, helping me stand, she'd be there making it all better, she's my rock. And right then, the waterworks started, I couldn't help it. I just couldn't keep it in any longer, it was a surprise to me that I was able to hold myself until this moment, but now... I just couldn't any longer. She gathered me in when I turned to her, gathered me up when I began to sob. She pulled me to the bed, and I sat with her cradled in her arms. And she held me there, while the storm raged through.
That night...
I didn't touch my phone, I was glad it was on Silent mode, so I didn't hear a thing. Dee left a few hours after we came back home, she did everything she had to do, listened to me, supported me, held me while I cried. She never pushed or pressured me into talking, Deena tried a few times to help me speak, to ask me what was in my head, but it didn't do any good. I had the words in my head, the thoughts, but I just couldnt for the life of me put them into sentences, I knew that whatever would come out of my mouth wouldn't even make sense. So I just stayed quiet, until I fell asleep in her arms. She left me a note by my bed stand, "You just slept, I'ma take off. But baby, please.. Don't do this to yourself, you need to understand everything before all of this. I don't want you to cry, okay? Promise me you'll text me when you're up? I'll get breakfast and come tomorrow, we'll talk then. I love you really really."
I did what she asked me to do, I sent her a message right after reading her note. "I'm up hunn, thank you for everything. I'll see you in the morning, love you really really right back."
The lights were off, the only light was from the lamp next to me, I closed it and closed my eyes. I laid back in bed, staring at the dark cieling, there was light on my right. It was my cell, someone was calling. I grabbed it and looked at the Caller ID, Khaled... No. I'm not answering the phone. Why should I? He's a liar, a manipulative sonofabitch, why should I? And right then, I looked at the number of missed calls. 15 from Khaled. He's been calling me all day, along with the messages, shakal 3alay with everything, and he's still calling. It didn't feel right, this wasn't right, something's wrong. It was a feeling in me, my insticts were up, and Khaled would be sorry, damn sorry he was the person who incited them.
After breakast with Dee, after talking everything through, I felt slightly better. "You look like shit" was the first thing she'd told me after I opened the door for her. I curbed my lips into a small smile and embraced her hug, she smelled like heaven, like she's spent hours in the kitchen baking, I was right. I looked down, and she was holding a box of home made chocolate chip cookies, some breakfast, she knew me too well. "My favorite, come on in. No one's home." I said as I pulled her in to close the door, I didn't have the energy to change so I was still in my pj's. My hair was pulled up into a messy bun, and she was right. As we made our ways into the living room, I took a quick look at myself in the mirror, I did look like shit. Did I care? No, not at the moment, it was the last thing on my mind. I barely had any sleep last night, Khaled wouldn't stop pushing. The calls, the constant messages, he just wouldn't back the fuck off of me! I was over the "feeling sorry for myself and being all heart broken" phase, I was just plain pissed now. Mad as hell, waby abared chabdee, I needed to see him, I wanted him to confront me and be honest. Yes. That was the plan, this evening.
After Deena left, I went upstairs and took a hot bath. Exactly what I needed to get all the tension and pain off my muscles, I sent Khaled a message just before I took off my robe and laid down on the hot water. "Meet me tonight at eight. Our place. Stop calling and texting, we'll talk then. Just be there if you have any respect for what we had." A minute later, he replied. I knew it was him, I just knew, and I was right.
1 New Message: Khaled Al M.
Intay weinich?! I've been calling you since yesterday! What the hell is wrong with you? Ta7gireeny?! Shfeech? Sh9ayer?! Why tonight? Why not now? Talk to me, shit. You freaked me out! I've been worried sick!
I didn't reply, I could feel the back of my eyes burning, I wanted to cry. But didn't. I turned my phone off, and sunk in the hot water until only my face could touch the air. It made me feel better, the heat. It made me feel better.
The following night...
I woke up after sleeping for three hours, it was plenty. Even during my sleep, I could feel my muscles intense, contrasting only to relax moments later, I could feel a huge ball in my chest, full of anger, fear of what's coming, anticipating the worst. I always did that, I always expected the worst in everything so I wouldn't be surprised, I just never got my hopes up. This way, no one is capable of hurting me, not even Khaled.
I wore a pair of faded blue jeans torn above one side of the knees, a white plain t-shirt, white sandals and lifted my hair into a tidy pony tail. No effort, simplicity. What was the point of dressing up? No. I quickly grabbed my keys and phone and ran down the stairs. Again, no one was home. No surprise there. 15 minutes later, I arrived at the beach. His car was there, waiting for me. I got closer and parked mine right next to it, then turned it off, I looked inside, he wasn't there. He must be sitting at one of the benches close by. I got out of the car after turning on my phone and walked to the nearest bench, yes. He was there, standing, walking around it, pasing back and forth, worried? Maybe.
"Hi"
He turned around to face me, yes. He was worried, it showed in his face, his body language, it was all very clear to me. He couldn't lie about that, there's just no way in hell. Pitiful. He got closer quickly, but I didn't move an inch. Khaled put his strong arms around me, around my waist and squeezed so tight I couldn't breathe properly. I didn't rap my arms around him this time, I didn't move my arms, nothing. i just stood there, frozen, waiting for him to let go. When he didnt, I moved away, nothing gentle about it, I placed my arms on his chest and moved away without saying a thing. "Danah, 7abeebty shfeech? Fahmeeny sh9ayer?!" He shot at me, strong emotions escaping from him, he was angry. I breathed in and out, cleared my throat, and spoke. I hoped to God I was cool, I didn't want my voice to shake. "Have you been spreading lies about me to people?" I asked. The question - so forward - managed to shake every fiber of his being, he seemed caught off guard with what I've said. Exactly the effect I was looking for. Exactly what I wanted to see. He was queit for a moment, then answered my question with another question. "Come again? What did you say?" Khaled's face was cool and blank now, so that the black of his eyes burned all the stronger against it.
"Why would you think I've been talking about you?" He was shouting. I looked around for a few seconds making sure no one was near by, thank God. There wasnt a soul. I told him everything, the woman who approached Deena and I, what she said, how she said it, the looks of disgust and fury on her face, what I went through the previous night. And all the while, he was silent, not a single word crept out from his lips. But he didn't need to speak, the looks in his eyes said it all. When I was done, after saying everything I had to say, he gave me his back and walked away a few steps, looking at the beach, my knees were too weak to keep me standing upright, I sat right down on the bench next to me. Head in his hands, I could hear him breathe out a sigh, he wasn't mad anymore. Khaled was in pain, I could feel it, it was very obvious. He turned around and approached me, leaning down, and holding my legs, focusing on my eyes. "Listen to me, I have something to tell you. But you have to promise me you'll stay quiet until I'm done, then and only then you can say what you're thinking. Should you feel like grabbing your key and shoving it in my skull, you go right ahead and do that. But I know you, you're smart and rational, and you'll know what the right thing to do is. So please, listen carefuly."
His eyes finally let go of the strong hold they had on mine, and I looked away from him. What's going on? This is getting more confusing by the second. But I wanted to hear it, all of it. He started talking.
"I have this friend, she's a friend of my ex girlfriend, and we're still in touch, because I met her before meeting my ex, so when we broke up, I realised there was no point in ending a friendship with her, they're completely different people. So we stayed close, I know her parents, she knows mine. I go over at times for lunch, I fish with her dad and brothers, she's my sister. A really, really good friend." Then he paused, looked at the ground. A sad smile painted his face, I looked at him, nudging him to go on, he did. "She's the girl who came up to you at Starbucks, the way you described her, blonde hair, tight clothes, yup. That's Manar for ya." Amusement on his face. "I'm guessing she read your messages while she was looking through my phone, she does that sometimes. It never bothered me because I trusted her completely. But my ex, Dalal... She's her best friend. And I'm sure her protective insticts played a role, she must've opened my Gallry as well as looked at one of the pictures you and I have taken, that's how she recognised you. She knew you were the reason I wouldn't get back to Dalal, you were the reason I kept rejecting her cries and her begging me to get back together. I didn't want her, a corrupted relationship, which started out as trust and ended in hate. I don't love her anymore, I have feelings for someone else, I have feelings for you. Manar obviously thought this through, and when she saw you, she wanted to grab the opportunity to tell you that I've been trash talking you in my university and Dewaniyas. Baby, look at me." Khaled asked, holding my chin to face him. I had tears in my eyes, I tried holding them back, I didn't want to be weak infront of Khaled. No, but everything that I've heard... Who would do such nasty things? Manar's supposed to be his friend, his sister, why would she ruin a relationship between two people? Because she's best friends with Dalal? Khaled's ex? I felt my cheecks flush, I'll be damned if I let those two bitches screw up what I have with Khaled, he's mine. Determination, that's what I had, to make 'us' work.
"I understand. I'm glad you told me all of this, I mean... Wow... She's your friend." I finally said. He helped me stand up. "You should trust me, shame on you for believing complete strangers witchathbeeny ana, I'm your boyfriend. And if there's anything you doubt of, anything you hear or see and need to discuss, you should come and talk to me right away, not ignore me until you have the urge to know the whole truth. Our relationship is based on trust, that's how we complete each other, okay? Can you look at me straight in the eyes and promise me that you'll trust me from now on forward?"
I looked at him straight in the eyes and said two words. "I promise" And he held my hands to walk me to my car, we were standing outside. I was leaning against it. He wiped away the tears falling down my cheecks and gave me a hug. Just what I needed to complete this conversation. I noticed him looking around, eyes like a hawk's, looking, checking to see if anyone was around. Oh boy. "Khaled, what's wrong?" I asked, and before the last word was all the way out, he grabbed me. He had his mouth on mine, showing me what he wanted, taking what he wanted with an impatient part of him he rarely set free. Hunger pushed and shoved at temper until his mouth ravaged mine. My back pressed back against the car, and my hands were rapped between his body and mine. Every muscle in my body quivered. But not in protest, not in fear. There was a difference between fear and thrill, and I understood it then. When he broke off, there was such heat in his eyes. It was my move now, all mine. My hands were free so I hooked one arm around his neck, pulling him to me again. When he pressed me against the car again, he nipped at my lip, rocking his hips against mine. I let the pleasure flood me after a very bad day and a half. The feel of his hands on me, the feel of the night air on my skin, it was all overwhelming. The glorious sensation that rolled through us and escaped... I didn't let go.
To be continued...
P.S. Too much, Ms. Q? ;p
Monday, May 4, 2009
Hold Heart, Don't Beat So Loud - Part Seven: Here Comes Goodbye.
"Do me a favor? Next time I call you to come with me for shopping, just hang up on me. Yeah?" I asked Deena, we've been at Avenues for the past four hours, and I can't feel my feet, not to mention my arms after carrying bags and bags of clothes from this season. As soon as I saw the Sales advertisements on the newspaper while having breakfast with mum this morning, I called Dee and asked her to come with. I was glad I had all the midterms and presentations out of the way for a while, what, a week? Two? Just some time to lay back and relax. Exactly what I needed. Not running around and going in and out of every store in the mall. We decided to take a break and spotted a couple of comfortable couches at Starbucks to sit on, I placed the bags on the floor right next to the table and sat, while Deena went ahead and ordered our cold drinks.
1 New Message: Khaled Al M.
Still shopping, ladies?
I replied by saying that we are, and having drinks before carrying on.
1 New Message: Khaled Al M.
Alla y3eenkum? Why? Why? Don't you ever get sick of it? ;p Inzein 7abeebty, stay safe. I just left my place to pick up a friend and head to Hawally, he wants to buy something. I'll call you after. Don't get those legs too tired, baby ;*
He made me smile, I loved the tingeling feeling he always, always managed to give me.
Reply: I won't, hunn. Inshalla, you too. Yeah, call me as soon as you're done. I'll be home by then ;*
Deena came back with our frapps and sat across me, we talked about what we bought since 11 in the morning, and discussed whether or not we should continue. We were both so tired, so we decided to just relax for a few more minutes, then head back home for a good movie. As we were talking, I noticed a young woman sitting across at the far end of Starbucks. Her bleache blond hair covered most of her back, wearing a short black dress that barely covered her thighs and leather leggings underneath. I hate those leggings. The amount of makeup she had on only convinced someone that she was heading to a wedding right after leaving Avenues, it was unbelievably heavy. I don't wanna go deeper into her appearance, the accessories, the heels, the glares. Too fucking much. The woman was wearing her sun glasses but it was extremely obvious the woman was staring at our direction. I convinced myself I was being too paranoid and looked away every time I spotted her, not mentioning anything to Deena.
Deena: You okay, babe? Why are you looking behind me kil shway?
Me: Madree, Dee. I think, I THINK that woman with the blonde hair is staring at us. I don't know why, though. She doesn't seem familiar.
Deena, acting as cool and normal as possible, turned around to observe the woman I was reffering to. As soon as she did that, the young woman stood up, leaving her hand bag along with her shopping bags and the rest of her belongings on the table she was occupying alone. She was walking towards us. She was walking towards us. So calm, swaying ever so slowly, she definetely had one of those confident walks, you gotta admire that.
Me: Deenouh! What the fuck is she doing? She's coming over here!
Deena: Don't be stupid, Danah. (very calmly) She doesn't know us, why would she?
And just as Deena finished her sentence, the woman was standing beside me. Looking at me. No, gazing. It was an angry look, a look that indicated she was obviously mad about something I've done? What...? I don't even know her. Why's she quiet? I had to say something to break the ice, there was so much tension you could cut it with a knife. "Erm... May I help you?" I asked the woman, facing her, still sitting down. Nothing. She was still quiet. Just staring. In my head, I was all "What the fuck is wrong with her? Is she stable? No, she must be out of it, something's wrong. This is a joke, where's the damn camera?" But no. Apparently, she was serious. Finally, she spoke.
"Intay Danah il Flani?" She asked, it was more of a statement than a question. This is so weird... Should I lie and say I wasn't? No, she was certain. I can't lie. I nodded. "T3arfeen Khaled Al M.?" Oh my God... My heart started beating faster, I could feel a cold line of sweat falling down by back, my hands were shaking, not very apparent, I could feel the shaking though. "Excuse me?" I questioned, what is wrong with her? Who is she? And why did she ask me about Khaled? A million questions were running through my head, all of them required straight and honest answers, only this woman could do the job for me. I wanted to ask her, not the other way around. Bitch. I eyed Deena, she was quiet, white in the face, was she nervous? Or was it fear? God, how's MY face, if hers was this terrified and shocked? Bullocks.
Another moment of silence before she started speaking again, I looked down at my frappuccino as she went on, not having the balls to face her. I don't know why, I just couldn't, maybe because I was scared of what she's about to reveal to me. God, please make this go away. Please... No such luck. "Aha, I figured. I just want you to know that everyone thinks you're trash, Khaled keeps talking about you kil ma mar idewaniyat 3and rab3a, and even where he studies, sum3itich ray7a feeha and I don't blame him, look at you... I'm just trying to be nice here, giving you some advice. Before it's too late, before realising that no man will want to marry you. Leave Khaled, I'm sure it wouldn't make a huge difference to him, since he's doing most of the girls in his university, that man's definetely on a role."
What...? I sunk even further on my couch, what did she just say? Khaled? Talking about me? My reputation? Girls...? No. No, there must be some misunderstanding here. The shaking was getting more and more obvious to Deena and the woman, they both knew the strong impact this woman had had on me, the bomb she just threw. No, there must be some misunderstanding here.
There must be some misunderstanding here...
My phone vibrated.
1 New Message: Khaled Al M.
My friend changed his mind, we're just chilling at his place. Maybe lunch after, we'll see. Can I see you later on today? We need to talk.
I dropped the phone on the wooden table, carved with names of people in love, dates and hearts drawn in blue and black ink. It's incredible how I could notice little things like these on a time like this, on the state I'm in. She left. I looked up again, and she was gone. Deena looked at me, placed her gentle hand on my cold one, concern and shock on her face, was that pitty too? No, not from Deena, she's not like that. I'd hate it if she did feel that way. "You ready to go sweetie? Come on, I'll help you with the bags, we'll talk in the car. Yalla galbi." as she stood up and held her hand out to offer her help. I didn't need it, I stood up, grabbed my things, and followed her, silently.
There must be some misunderstanding here...
1 New Message: Khaled Al M.
Still shopping, ladies?
I replied by saying that we are, and having drinks before carrying on.
1 New Message: Khaled Al M.
Alla y3eenkum? Why? Why? Don't you ever get sick of it? ;p Inzein 7abeebty, stay safe. I just left my place to pick up a friend and head to Hawally, he wants to buy something. I'll call you after. Don't get those legs too tired, baby ;*
He made me smile, I loved the tingeling feeling he always, always managed to give me.
Reply: I won't, hunn. Inshalla, you too. Yeah, call me as soon as you're done. I'll be home by then ;*
Deena came back with our frapps and sat across me, we talked about what we bought since 11 in the morning, and discussed whether or not we should continue. We were both so tired, so we decided to just relax for a few more minutes, then head back home for a good movie. As we were talking, I noticed a young woman sitting across at the far end of Starbucks. Her bleache blond hair covered most of her back, wearing a short black dress that barely covered her thighs and leather leggings underneath. I hate those leggings. The amount of makeup she had on only convinced someone that she was heading to a wedding right after leaving Avenues, it was unbelievably heavy. I don't wanna go deeper into her appearance, the accessories, the heels, the glares. Too fucking much. The woman was wearing her sun glasses but it was extremely obvious the woman was staring at our direction. I convinced myself I was being too paranoid and looked away every time I spotted her, not mentioning anything to Deena.
Deena: You okay, babe? Why are you looking behind me kil shway?
Me: Madree, Dee. I think, I THINK that woman with the blonde hair is staring at us. I don't know why, though. She doesn't seem familiar.
Deena, acting as cool and normal as possible, turned around to observe the woman I was reffering to. As soon as she did that, the young woman stood up, leaving her hand bag along with her shopping bags and the rest of her belongings on the table she was occupying alone. She was walking towards us. She was walking towards us. So calm, swaying ever so slowly, she definetely had one of those confident walks, you gotta admire that.
Me: Deenouh! What the fuck is she doing? She's coming over here!
Deena: Don't be stupid, Danah. (very calmly) She doesn't know us, why would she?
And just as Deena finished her sentence, the woman was standing beside me. Looking at me. No, gazing. It was an angry look, a look that indicated she was obviously mad about something I've done? What...? I don't even know her. Why's she quiet? I had to say something to break the ice, there was so much tension you could cut it with a knife. "Erm... May I help you?" I asked the woman, facing her, still sitting down. Nothing. She was still quiet. Just staring. In my head, I was all "What the fuck is wrong with her? Is she stable? No, she must be out of it, something's wrong. This is a joke, where's the damn camera?" But no. Apparently, she was serious. Finally, she spoke.
"Intay Danah il Flani?" She asked, it was more of a statement than a question. This is so weird... Should I lie and say I wasn't? No, she was certain. I can't lie. I nodded. "T3arfeen Khaled Al M.?" Oh my God... My heart started beating faster, I could feel a cold line of sweat falling down by back, my hands were shaking, not very apparent, I could feel the shaking though. "Excuse me?" I questioned, what is wrong with her? Who is she? And why did she ask me about Khaled? A million questions were running through my head, all of them required straight and honest answers, only this woman could do the job for me. I wanted to ask her, not the other way around. Bitch. I eyed Deena, she was quiet, white in the face, was she nervous? Or was it fear? God, how's MY face, if hers was this terrified and shocked? Bullocks.
Another moment of silence before she started speaking again, I looked down at my frappuccino as she went on, not having the balls to face her. I don't know why, I just couldn't, maybe because I was scared of what she's about to reveal to me. God, please make this go away. Please... No such luck. "Aha, I figured. I just want you to know that everyone thinks you're trash, Khaled keeps talking about you kil ma mar idewaniyat 3and rab3a, and even where he studies, sum3itich ray7a feeha and I don't blame him, look at you... I'm just trying to be nice here, giving you some advice. Before it's too late, before realising that no man will want to marry you. Leave Khaled, I'm sure it wouldn't make a huge difference to him, since he's doing most of the girls in his university, that man's definetely on a role."
What...? I sunk even further on my couch, what did she just say? Khaled? Talking about me? My reputation? Girls...? No. No, there must be some misunderstanding here. The shaking was getting more and more obvious to Deena and the woman, they both knew the strong impact this woman had had on me, the bomb she just threw. No, there must be some misunderstanding here.
There must be some misunderstanding here...
My phone vibrated.
1 New Message: Khaled Al M.
My friend changed his mind, we're just chilling at his place. Maybe lunch after, we'll see. Can I see you later on today? We need to talk.
I dropped the phone on the wooden table, carved with names of people in love, dates and hearts drawn in blue and black ink. It's incredible how I could notice little things like these on a time like this, on the state I'm in. She left. I looked up again, and she was gone. Deena looked at me, placed her gentle hand on my cold one, concern and shock on her face, was that pitty too? No, not from Deena, she's not like that. I'd hate it if she did feel that way. "You ready to go sweetie? Come on, I'll help you with the bags, we'll talk in the car. Yalla galbi." as she stood up and held her hand out to offer her help. I didn't need it, I stood up, grabbed my things, and followed her, silently.
There must be some misunderstanding here...
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Hold Heart, Don't Beat So Loud - Part Six: She Shot The Bullet That Ended That Life. I Swear to You, The Pimp In Me Just Died Tonight.
I woke up to the loud noise of the hard working men and the construction occuring outside our house, was the sun up yet? The room was completely dark, no. There's still no sun. My body was in pain, I havent slept for more than four hours, I was contemplating going back to bed when I realised that there is absolutely no way I'd manage to go to sleep with all the construction going on. I grabbed my phone which was placed under my pillow, and looked at the number of calls and messages I wasn't able to hear while sleeping. Three calls from Khaled, two from Deena, and a few messages from other friends. Should I call Khaled now? It's still too early, the sun's still not up for crying out loud. I rested my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes, what will today bring? I had so many plans, not to mention studying for my Managerial Accounting midterm this coming week. Not one of the brightest thoughts you'd want to think of as soon as you woke up, nope.
My phone was vibrating, Khaled was calling. Wow. "Hello." My voice, barely a whisper, I couldn't manage to speak out loud, I just had no energy in me. "Intay weinich?! I've been calling you since last night! Why didn't you answer any of my calls? Baby, are you okay? Did something happen? Riday 3alay!" He screamed through the phone. I could imagine his face, the anger, the fear, the consideration. I laughed qiuetly, not quiet enough though, he defenitely heard the low giggles. "W ti9'7ikeen ba3ad?" He asked, Khaled obviously was reaching his boiling point, I had to start explaining. "7ayati I'm not laughing at you, it's just the I dozed off, I was too tired and exhaused to hear your calls, really. I just woke up, fee 3umaal yishta3'loun bara w gimt min il iz3aaj, I saw your calls but decided it was too early to call back, gilt adig 3aleik in a few hours." I explained. I heard his breathing, it was steady, inhaling and exhaling, he was calmer after listening to what I had to say. But he was quiet... "Khaled, shfeek? You okay? La t3a9ib 3aad, I just-" and he cut me off. "Moo m3a9ib Danah, why would I be mad? I was just worried about you, I didn't have any sleep, I was seriously considering passing by your place and seeing if your car is parked." He said.
I was melting under the sheets, privately, I thanked God for giving me the most caring person in the world, 5ayif 3alay. I said nothing. It was my time to be quiet, I just didn't know how to reply, it was overwhelming. Despite the amount of time I've known Khaled, all the good and bad times we've experienced and shared together, the arguments and the romance, I still cannot for the life of me start to get used to his treatment. It gets a little bit too much sometimes, he feeds me so much care and attention, I sometimes wonder whether I'm in a dream or not. I pinch myself at times and always tell myself that I'm exteremely lucky for a person like Khaled to be a significant part of my life. We closed the lousy subject, and talked about the events that will occur today. Hopefully, I'll have time to see him in between our busy schedules. He was planning on taking his mom for some last minute shopping since she was travelling to visit her sister abroad, and after that, the entire family were having dinner at Khaled's grandparents' house and spend the remaining of the day there. And if by any chance, he had the opportunity to leave early, we'll meet up.
I on the other hand, have to take care of some errands I've been too lazy to do the past two weeks. A presentation due three days from now didn't even start, that midterm I have absolutely no intentions of studying for, and buying a birthday gift for a friend of mine. Blehh.. We'll figure something out. We always do. From his low and sleepy voice, I could feel the warmth radiating even through the phone. How could someone I know so little about, someone I've met not long ago, seems to have this kind of strong effect on my being? Khaled was most probably the only person who has the ability to uplift my mood in just a few seconds, no matter how small or big the problem I'm facing is. He's the first person I think of calling and asking for help everytime I try so hard to overcome an obstacle. His patience, understanding, and wisdom make their way into my mind and assist me in any way possible, he makes me feel better by his words and actions. Without him, I'd be lost.
It's just incredible, we just met. It hadn't been long at all. We ended up closing the phone at around 9 AM. Khaled needed three hours of sleep, so we decided that I'd wake him up by the time he had to pray the afternoon. Then, he'd start his day with his mother. In those three hours, I was able to start and finish my presentation. Thank Goodness, it didn't require alot of my time and effort since it wasn't the main presentation I had to do for the course, it consisted of 20 slides and information about e.e. cummings for my Literature class. As soon as I finished, I poured myself the third cup of coffee I needed that morning, caffiene was the only thing keeping me awake and alert. I myself, was too tired as well. Just as I held the cup close to my lips to sip some coffee, my phone ringed out loud, Deena.
Me: What's happening?
Deena (half asleep): yo, someone's up. Whatcha doin'?
Me: Yeah, just working on my assignment. Why are you still in bed? Don't you have to take Boss to the vet?
Deena: Mom took him this morning, apparently, he has a flue.
Me: Urgh, I don't know how you put up with that cat. He's as big as my pillow.
Deena (defensively): Hey! Don't say thata 'bout him, besides, mom's thinking of giving him away to one of my sorry excuse of cosines.
Me: God bless yo mama.
Deena: Oh shut up, I wanna go walking. Come with?
Me: I have to study, D.
Deena: Come on now, study later, we'll walk for an hour, then you could head back home to finish up studying.
I didn't need alot of convincing, she managed to do the job in two minutes, I hung up promising to be at her place in 20 minutes. By the time I'm there, it would be 12 and I'd wake Khaled up. Good. I washed up, wore my pink A&F shorts, a plain white top, and no make up. I grabbed my keys, wallet, phone and Pumas to wear downstairs.
20 minutes later, I was outside waiting for Deena to come out. It's just amazing, the amount of time she needs to dress to go walking, for real? You get used to it. Meanwhile, I held up my phone to call Khaled. It ringed three times before he picked it up.
Khaled: Hmm...
Me (screaming): Wake up! It's 12! You're gonna be late for your mom!
Khaled (laughing): Is this the only way to wake me up? Why don't you say cute stuff like "yalla 7ayati, goom galbi, warak wayed ashya2 tsaweeha, yalla 7abeebi inta"?
Me (shame written on my forehead): Because I'm not like that, plus you're not gonna wake up, but act all lazy and I'd have to a7in 3aleik 3ashan tgoum until I run out of cute words to say to you.
Khaled: Haha inzein 7ayati, kanee gimt. Weinich? Chinich bisayara, I thought you said you had stuff to study for.
Me: Yeah, I know. I finished that presentation I told you about, then Deena called saying she wants me to go walking with her. I'm outside her place right now.
Khaled (laughing): Walla hathy Deenouh 5arab, 5arab. Ma waraha ila ina twa5rich 3an derastich.
He knew she was my best friend, and I knew he was only joking about her being a bad friend. I laughed and talked to him until her majesty decided to leave her house and enter my car. She looked at me with a "You guys are unbelievable, twins seperated at birth! Hang up already" look. I teased her by flirting with Khaled, he understood where I was going and helped out to piss Deena off. Obviously, she got what we were trying to accomplish and just stared out to the street waiting for us to finish.
Khaled: She's mad, isn't she?
Me: Haha, you have to see how red her face is! Jealousy? Is that jealousy I see?
Deena looked straight at me with a look that indicated the last thing she'd feel at this moment is jealousy, it was more of the lines of disgust and horror. That made me laugh.
Khaled: 3ayal law tisma3 lashyaa2 ilee agoolich iyaha gabil ma inaam?
Me (blushing): Khaled, bas 3aad.
He was loving it. Deena wiggled her eyebrows knowing he was the reason I was blushing and started drawing hearts in the air. I slapped her hands and focused on what Khaled was saying again.
Khaled (teasing): Shfeech 7ayati? Tisti7een? Come on, we both know you're not this shy when we're alone.
Me: Ee, walking, then home to finish studying, what about you?
Khaled (laughing louder than earlier): You're so adorable when you're nervous. I can't wait to see you tonight baby. You're gonna know how much I'm missing you. I just can't wait.
Me (nervous and blushing even more): Inshalla, 5ala9 okay. I'll call you when I'm back home, no I won't take long.
Deena knew exactly what Khaled was doing, she just knew and started laughing so hard her eyes were filled with tears. That's when Khaled stopped, for my sake, and his saying that he couldn't control the way he's feeling and it's a good thing I'm not next to him right now. We said our goodbyes and I'll call you laters just before hanging up. And off we went. The weather was incredible, surprisingly. The sun was high up, but there was a light breeze that came along with it, we were beside the beach so the entire setting was just breath taking. Deena and I starting catching up since I haven't seen her in three days, which felt like a month to us. I told her the latest updates about Khaled, and my midterms. She complained about how gay guys are nowadays, and how hard it is to find a gentleman. I agreed on the most part, it really was a difficult task to meet a young man who didn't want to just get into your pants. But I didn't comment much about that because Khaled was in my life now, and she knew that perectly well. So she didn't just go on and on bitching about it.
I promised her that she'll find the right person for her eventually, she just had to wait and look at the right places. Deena was very responsible and careful when it came to meeting guys, she knew instantly whether the person who's trying to get to know her is a good guy with good intentions or a hound dog who wants nothing but something physical. It was like a sixth sense for her, and that's why it wasn't very easy being with a guy, she's only had one serious relationship in her life which lasted for four years but ended badly. Deena just started recovering from the break up that took place a little over a year and a half ago. She loved the young man completely, it was so unconditional, she allowed so many flaws and mistakes to happen along the course of the relationship. She proved to him, me, as well as herself how strong and loving she is by putting up with alot of his bullshit.
At times, I hated her for it, for allowing him to take advantage of her that way, he knew she had a white and kind heart, and he played around with it, grabbbed it, twisted it, bent it, stabbed it, and eventually threw it away. Finally, she was ablt to collect herself and manage to end the relationship, it was harming her emotinally, mentally, and even physically. During two occasions, I remember him slapping her across the face while arguing, I will never forgive him for that, and I hope he never forgives himself because of what he's done to her. But I knew, deep down, that she will meet someone who will sweep her off her feet and puts her in his heart, I just knew. And at times, she felt it too.
After our walk that lasted for an hour, we decided on buying Orange juices and head back to her place. The drive back home was mostly quiet with occasional singing out loud songs her and I both loved. I loved our times together, with her, I was able to just let go and enjoy the moments we were sharing. Our friendship was by far, one of the best things we've had our entire lives. 7imadt raby kil ma t'thakart hasha3'la.
A few hours later...
Khaled: I just parked, baby. Where are you?
Me: Just give me two minutes, 3end il ishara. Za7ma?
Khaled: No, I just see a couple walking, and a few children running around. It's safe.
Me: Good, it's a weekend, I figured there'd be more people around.
Khaled: Yeah, I guess everyone's at malls or the movies.
I parked my car right next to his, Khaled was waiting for me by the bench against the beach. And as soon as he spotted me, he rushed to my car and opened the door, I got out of the car and only managed to walk two steps before having him place his large arms around my relatively small waist. As a result, I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed in his scent. Beautiful. Long moments passed before he looked down at me, "Hey you." he whispered. My heart was defenitely skipping a few beats, it decided to play games on me, something it always manages to accomplish everytime I see Khaled. "Hey inta." I replied. He kissed my forehead and embraced me again.
We walked along the beach, the cold water splashing against our feet, he talked about how he sneaked out of his grandparents' gathering to rush over here. I laughed, but felt guilty for pulling him away from his family, I didn't want to be that kind of girl, who asks her boyfriend to leave his family obligations and responsibilities. Just today. He started teasing me about how much he had the urge to pick me up and throw me to the sea. I pulled away from him and ran ahead knowing that he'd do it, he laughed and started running to catch me. Eventually he did, and between the loud screams, laughs, and giggles, he grabbed me and picked me up with his arms and walking steadily to the water.
Khaled: Agi6ich?
Me (screaming): Ya weilik! Khaled bas! Il maay bared, stop. Please!!!!
Khaled (laughing and losing his grip so slowly): Oh come on, you'll love it, the colder, the better. I'll jump after you, and rescue you from the small fish! Okay?
Me: Noooooo!
Khaled: Please? Pretty please?
Me: No! (pulling his hair, or lack of... Damn it.)Let go of me or I'll start pinching your cheeks!
Right then, Khaled turned and placed me so gently on the sand, as I stood on the ground and managed to hold myself steady, he grabbed my waist again and looked down. Surprisingly, I was able to get the speed of my heart beat back to normal, not for long though...
Khaled: 5iftay 7ayati?
Me (pushing him away): Ee! Don't do that again!
Khaled (laughing and pulling me towards him): Haha you know I wouldn't throw you.
He looked straight into my eyes, and despite the darkness that filled the place, I still had the ability to get a hold of his gaze, the way he looked at me, it's not normal. The games my heart loved to play started again, holy shit. "Garbay." Khaled whispered. "Maby." I answered with a laugh to ease the tension and akwardness, "Please?" He asked. I got closer only to hear his breathing increasing its pace and his lips parting. Was he serious? Is it too soon? Did I even have the time to think it through and react to what he's doing? Apparently not.
He kissed me. I let him. Khaled kissed me and I let him. He held me even closer, wrapping his arms with more effort around my body, I lifted my arms and wrapped them just as hard above his shoulders. The kiss which started out as soft and gentle, became more and more demanding. He was demanding, not with words, but with what he's doing, and I let him. With both our eyes shut, we were transfered into a different place, a parallel universe where no one else existed but the two of us, I could feel his passion running through my veins, his power holding my body still. I wasn't able to move, I didn't want to. And finally, he just let go and pulled away a few inches from my face. With no words, he kissed my forehead again and we continued walking. Holding hands, fingers entwined.
To be continued...
P.S: I apologise if this post was a bit too R-rated, if it is, please let me know. So I won't go that far again, but I hope you enjoyed it.
Take it easy.
N. -Kk
xx
My phone was vibrating, Khaled was calling. Wow. "Hello." My voice, barely a whisper, I couldn't manage to speak out loud, I just had no energy in me. "Intay weinich?! I've been calling you since last night! Why didn't you answer any of my calls? Baby, are you okay? Did something happen? Riday 3alay!" He screamed through the phone. I could imagine his face, the anger, the fear, the consideration. I laughed qiuetly, not quiet enough though, he defenitely heard the low giggles. "W ti9'7ikeen ba3ad?" He asked, Khaled obviously was reaching his boiling point, I had to start explaining. "7ayati I'm not laughing at you, it's just the I dozed off, I was too tired and exhaused to hear your calls, really. I just woke up, fee 3umaal yishta3'loun bara w gimt min il iz3aaj, I saw your calls but decided it was too early to call back, gilt adig 3aleik in a few hours." I explained. I heard his breathing, it was steady, inhaling and exhaling, he was calmer after listening to what I had to say. But he was quiet... "Khaled, shfeek? You okay? La t3a9ib 3aad, I just-" and he cut me off. "Moo m3a9ib Danah, why would I be mad? I was just worried about you, I didn't have any sleep, I was seriously considering passing by your place and seeing if your car is parked." He said.
I was melting under the sheets, privately, I thanked God for giving me the most caring person in the world, 5ayif 3alay. I said nothing. It was my time to be quiet, I just didn't know how to reply, it was overwhelming. Despite the amount of time I've known Khaled, all the good and bad times we've experienced and shared together, the arguments and the romance, I still cannot for the life of me start to get used to his treatment. It gets a little bit too much sometimes, he feeds me so much care and attention, I sometimes wonder whether I'm in a dream or not. I pinch myself at times and always tell myself that I'm exteremely lucky for a person like Khaled to be a significant part of my life. We closed the lousy subject, and talked about the events that will occur today. Hopefully, I'll have time to see him in between our busy schedules. He was planning on taking his mom for some last minute shopping since she was travelling to visit her sister abroad, and after that, the entire family were having dinner at Khaled's grandparents' house and spend the remaining of the day there. And if by any chance, he had the opportunity to leave early, we'll meet up.
I on the other hand, have to take care of some errands I've been too lazy to do the past two weeks. A presentation due three days from now didn't even start, that midterm I have absolutely no intentions of studying for, and buying a birthday gift for a friend of mine. Blehh.. We'll figure something out. We always do. From his low and sleepy voice, I could feel the warmth radiating even through the phone. How could someone I know so little about, someone I've met not long ago, seems to have this kind of strong effect on my being? Khaled was most probably the only person who has the ability to uplift my mood in just a few seconds, no matter how small or big the problem I'm facing is. He's the first person I think of calling and asking for help everytime I try so hard to overcome an obstacle. His patience, understanding, and wisdom make their way into my mind and assist me in any way possible, he makes me feel better by his words and actions. Without him, I'd be lost.
It's just incredible, we just met. It hadn't been long at all. We ended up closing the phone at around 9 AM. Khaled needed three hours of sleep, so we decided that I'd wake him up by the time he had to pray the afternoon. Then, he'd start his day with his mother. In those three hours, I was able to start and finish my presentation. Thank Goodness, it didn't require alot of my time and effort since it wasn't the main presentation I had to do for the course, it consisted of 20 slides and information about e.e. cummings for my Literature class. As soon as I finished, I poured myself the third cup of coffee I needed that morning, caffiene was the only thing keeping me awake and alert. I myself, was too tired as well. Just as I held the cup close to my lips to sip some coffee, my phone ringed out loud, Deena.
Me: What's happening?
Deena (half asleep): yo, someone's up. Whatcha doin'?
Me: Yeah, just working on my assignment. Why are you still in bed? Don't you have to take Boss to the vet?
Deena: Mom took him this morning, apparently, he has a flue.
Me: Urgh, I don't know how you put up with that cat. He's as big as my pillow.
Deena (defensively): Hey! Don't say thata 'bout him, besides, mom's thinking of giving him away to one of my sorry excuse of cosines.
Me: God bless yo mama.
Deena: Oh shut up, I wanna go walking. Come with?
Me: I have to study, D.
Deena: Come on now, study later, we'll walk for an hour, then you could head back home to finish up studying.
I didn't need alot of convincing, she managed to do the job in two minutes, I hung up promising to be at her place in 20 minutes. By the time I'm there, it would be 12 and I'd wake Khaled up. Good. I washed up, wore my pink A&F shorts, a plain white top, and no make up. I grabbed my keys, wallet, phone and Pumas to wear downstairs.
20 minutes later, I was outside waiting for Deena to come out. It's just amazing, the amount of time she needs to dress to go walking, for real? You get used to it. Meanwhile, I held up my phone to call Khaled. It ringed three times before he picked it up.
Khaled: Hmm...
Me (screaming): Wake up! It's 12! You're gonna be late for your mom!
Khaled (laughing): Is this the only way to wake me up? Why don't you say cute stuff like "yalla 7ayati, goom galbi, warak wayed ashya2 tsaweeha, yalla 7abeebi inta"?
Me (shame written on my forehead): Because I'm not like that, plus you're not gonna wake up, but act all lazy and I'd have to a7in 3aleik 3ashan tgoum until I run out of cute words to say to you.
Khaled: Haha inzein 7ayati, kanee gimt. Weinich? Chinich bisayara, I thought you said you had stuff to study for.
Me: Yeah, I know. I finished that presentation I told you about, then Deena called saying she wants me to go walking with her. I'm outside her place right now.
Khaled (laughing): Walla hathy Deenouh 5arab, 5arab. Ma waraha ila ina twa5rich 3an derastich.
He knew she was my best friend, and I knew he was only joking about her being a bad friend. I laughed and talked to him until her majesty decided to leave her house and enter my car. She looked at me with a "You guys are unbelievable, twins seperated at birth! Hang up already" look. I teased her by flirting with Khaled, he understood where I was going and helped out to piss Deena off. Obviously, she got what we were trying to accomplish and just stared out to the street waiting for us to finish.
Khaled: She's mad, isn't she?
Me: Haha, you have to see how red her face is! Jealousy? Is that jealousy I see?
Deena looked straight at me with a look that indicated the last thing she'd feel at this moment is jealousy, it was more of the lines of disgust and horror. That made me laugh.
Khaled: 3ayal law tisma3 lashyaa2 ilee agoolich iyaha gabil ma inaam?
Me (blushing): Khaled, bas 3aad.
He was loving it. Deena wiggled her eyebrows knowing he was the reason I was blushing and started drawing hearts in the air. I slapped her hands and focused on what Khaled was saying again.
Khaled (teasing): Shfeech 7ayati? Tisti7een? Come on, we both know you're not this shy when we're alone.
Me: Ee, walking, then home to finish studying, what about you?
Khaled (laughing louder than earlier): You're so adorable when you're nervous. I can't wait to see you tonight baby. You're gonna know how much I'm missing you. I just can't wait.
Me (nervous and blushing even more): Inshalla, 5ala9 okay. I'll call you when I'm back home, no I won't take long.
Deena knew exactly what Khaled was doing, she just knew and started laughing so hard her eyes were filled with tears. That's when Khaled stopped, for my sake, and his saying that he couldn't control the way he's feeling and it's a good thing I'm not next to him right now. We said our goodbyes and I'll call you laters just before hanging up. And off we went. The weather was incredible, surprisingly. The sun was high up, but there was a light breeze that came along with it, we were beside the beach so the entire setting was just breath taking. Deena and I starting catching up since I haven't seen her in three days, which felt like a month to us. I told her the latest updates about Khaled, and my midterms. She complained about how gay guys are nowadays, and how hard it is to find a gentleman. I agreed on the most part, it really was a difficult task to meet a young man who didn't want to just get into your pants. But I didn't comment much about that because Khaled was in my life now, and she knew that perectly well. So she didn't just go on and on bitching about it.
I promised her that she'll find the right person for her eventually, she just had to wait and look at the right places. Deena was very responsible and careful when it came to meeting guys, she knew instantly whether the person who's trying to get to know her is a good guy with good intentions or a hound dog who wants nothing but something physical. It was like a sixth sense for her, and that's why it wasn't very easy being with a guy, she's only had one serious relationship in her life which lasted for four years but ended badly. Deena just started recovering from the break up that took place a little over a year and a half ago. She loved the young man completely, it was so unconditional, she allowed so many flaws and mistakes to happen along the course of the relationship. She proved to him, me, as well as herself how strong and loving she is by putting up with alot of his bullshit.
At times, I hated her for it, for allowing him to take advantage of her that way, he knew she had a white and kind heart, and he played around with it, grabbbed it, twisted it, bent it, stabbed it, and eventually threw it away. Finally, she was ablt to collect herself and manage to end the relationship, it was harming her emotinally, mentally, and even physically. During two occasions, I remember him slapping her across the face while arguing, I will never forgive him for that, and I hope he never forgives himself because of what he's done to her. But I knew, deep down, that she will meet someone who will sweep her off her feet and puts her in his heart, I just knew. And at times, she felt it too.
After our walk that lasted for an hour, we decided on buying Orange juices and head back to her place. The drive back home was mostly quiet with occasional singing out loud songs her and I both loved. I loved our times together, with her, I was able to just let go and enjoy the moments we were sharing. Our friendship was by far, one of the best things we've had our entire lives. 7imadt raby kil ma t'thakart hasha3'la.
A few hours later...
Khaled: I just parked, baby. Where are you?
Me: Just give me two minutes, 3end il ishara. Za7ma?
Khaled: No, I just see a couple walking, and a few children running around. It's safe.
Me: Good, it's a weekend, I figured there'd be more people around.
Khaled: Yeah, I guess everyone's at malls or the movies.
I parked my car right next to his, Khaled was waiting for me by the bench against the beach. And as soon as he spotted me, he rushed to my car and opened the door, I got out of the car and only managed to walk two steps before having him place his large arms around my relatively small waist. As a result, I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed in his scent. Beautiful. Long moments passed before he looked down at me, "Hey you." he whispered. My heart was defenitely skipping a few beats, it decided to play games on me, something it always manages to accomplish everytime I see Khaled. "Hey inta." I replied. He kissed my forehead and embraced me again.
We walked along the beach, the cold water splashing against our feet, he talked about how he sneaked out of his grandparents' gathering to rush over here. I laughed, but felt guilty for pulling him away from his family, I didn't want to be that kind of girl, who asks her boyfriend to leave his family obligations and responsibilities. Just today. He started teasing me about how much he had the urge to pick me up and throw me to the sea. I pulled away from him and ran ahead knowing that he'd do it, he laughed and started running to catch me. Eventually he did, and between the loud screams, laughs, and giggles, he grabbed me and picked me up with his arms and walking steadily to the water.
Khaled: Agi6ich?
Me (screaming): Ya weilik! Khaled bas! Il maay bared, stop. Please!!!!
Khaled (laughing and losing his grip so slowly): Oh come on, you'll love it, the colder, the better. I'll jump after you, and rescue you from the small fish! Okay?
Me: Noooooo!
Khaled: Please? Pretty please?
Me: No! (pulling his hair, or lack of... Damn it.)Let go of me or I'll start pinching your cheeks!
Right then, Khaled turned and placed me so gently on the sand, as I stood on the ground and managed to hold myself steady, he grabbed my waist again and looked down. Surprisingly, I was able to get the speed of my heart beat back to normal, not for long though...
Khaled: 5iftay 7ayati?
Me (pushing him away): Ee! Don't do that again!
Khaled (laughing and pulling me towards him): Haha you know I wouldn't throw you.
He looked straight into my eyes, and despite the darkness that filled the place, I still had the ability to get a hold of his gaze, the way he looked at me, it's not normal. The games my heart loved to play started again, holy shit. "Garbay." Khaled whispered. "Maby." I answered with a laugh to ease the tension and akwardness, "Please?" He asked. I got closer only to hear his breathing increasing its pace and his lips parting. Was he serious? Is it too soon? Did I even have the time to think it through and react to what he's doing? Apparently not.
He kissed me. I let him. Khaled kissed me and I let him. He held me even closer, wrapping his arms with more effort around my body, I lifted my arms and wrapped them just as hard above his shoulders. The kiss which started out as soft and gentle, became more and more demanding. He was demanding, not with words, but with what he's doing, and I let him. With both our eyes shut, we were transfered into a different place, a parallel universe where no one else existed but the two of us, I could feel his passion running through my veins, his power holding my body still. I wasn't able to move, I didn't want to. And finally, he just let go and pulled away a few inches from my face. With no words, he kissed my forehead again and we continued walking. Holding hands, fingers entwined.
To be continued...
P.S: I apologise if this post was a bit too R-rated, if it is, please let me know. So I won't go that far again, but I hope you enjoyed it.
Take it easy.
N. -Kk
xx
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
No, no. Listen To Me... Your Sister's A Very Nice Guy!
The title of this post, random much? Yeah, I don't know, shut up. Anyways. I wanna start talking about White C. first? Ee. Turns out he DOES have a girlfriend, she even goes to my ALgebra class. Karma? 7ada! I don't know what I did though, do I swear alot? Cuss? Uneccesarily have my finger up for random shit? I don't know, but WHY GOD? Why? Leish 7a9'y ketha? It's like, I attract men who have relationships, I give that fucking vibe that says "Screw your woman, I'm here, come?" but no! I despise people who do that, some girls don't give two shitts and still pursue whoever they want, but I don't! But WHite C. is just so adorable! Ask Ms. Q! :O No, don't, she doesnt like him. 'Cause apparently, he looks like a sister of a friend? I don't know, man. Ask her. 3'abiya -.- Don't say that about my lover! ;@ Blehh... Whatever, he's just yummines, I AM NOT attaching myself to him, I don't wanna get to know him, I don't wanna smile back, and I will not stalk him anymore? Maybe? I'll try?
His girlfriend's so cute, though! I can so see what he sees in her, and I'm saying this in a non-lesbionic way, honest to God. I'm just saying... She's cute and all. Kitten and I, before knowing she was with White C. ofcourse, always saw her and her friend in class, we used to call them "Junky" and "Fix"; Junky's White C.'s woman. Yeah? That's what we're gonna call her ;D We made up those names because we saw her once in class, shaking in a very weird way! With her head down and the palms of her hands cradling her head? I don't know, and she was shaking her right leg, you know how drug abusers are when they need their fix? Chithy. So I don't know, I was like "I'ma call her junky from now on." And Kitten was all "Then her friend's fix." and we just had this label on them ever since, lame? Yeah, hello? It's Algebra? Do we have anything better to do?
Speaking of having nothing better to do, there's this effing weirdo at Gust, he goes with us but I never ever saw him INSIDE uni, just at the parking lots. Anywho, tyeelikum isalfa, the other day, I was a few minutes late for my 10 AM class. So, I was sorta rushing? Driving like a crazy lunatic to try to get to Gust, 3ashan ma ysaker system il attendance! :O And there's this dude infront of me, w bared l3an abu buroodta! Driving 3adee 3adee 30! Nigga please, get out of my fucking way, drive in the right lane or something, got a class to catch! But no, il 7abeeb 3abala he owns the effing road. Great, so I managed to maneuver and pass by him madree shloun biza7ma and gave him an "F U" with my lights? A7san. I'm like that, don't judge. But the thing is, I didnt know he goes to Gust! Lana we were in Mishref, not even close to uni, so I don't know! I freaked out when I realised that he was as he drove into the parking lot with me!
Shit... Awesome, just effing perfect. Ma 3aleina, I decided to be in total denial, so I didn't aknowledge his existence. Yeah? But he made it hard, since he followed me to the West Parking lot, the big one, then the small one, then the center parking, then North parking, all this time, I was looking for a decent spot for my car. No such luck, but also, I wanted to see a5rat'ha with this SOB. I didn't wanna seem like "Oh, he's following me." But for real, yo. All the parkings at Gust? Really? Come on... I 6aafed the whole salfa, but he did the same exact thing the very next day at uni with Ms. Q sitting next to me in the car! :O Wow, she noticed it too! So it's not just my imagination -.- So we saw him today, yeah? At around 4-ish? Something similar happened, so basically it's an everyday thing, weirdness. keifa, he amuses me! ;D He's short though, I like his car and everything, I'm superficial and shallow that way, aren't we all? It's Kuwait. Thanks. So I'm sure he's gonna be there tomorrow at 10 AM ;p I'll let you know, what else happened?
Oh! Haha, this is too fucking hilarious! A guy was hitting on Ms. Q today! LOL after she parked her car to meet me, and we were on the phone, a guy like whistled at her or something? Trying to talk to her? Seriously? At Gust? What are you, five? Stupid? Makoo a3'ba? Rule no. 1: Never, ever flirt with a girl with you at uni. Not good flirting, la good flirting, by all means, go ahead (Ehem... White C.) but like cat calling and shit? Expecting the girl to ta36eek wayh? Ana agool dish ib shaba wayed a7san ;D He obviously didn't go to Gust -.- We didn't go to our Computer class today, dude I'm seriously starting to freak out min hal class! We barely attend it! But I swear to God, I swear! It's THE most boring class ;/ He doesnt help either! -.- But we shall, from next week. Ms. Q promised! If she breaks that promise, I'll break her balls, or "lack of". Whatever, you know what I'm saying.
So let me break it down to ya, A.T? I like. Okay? Thanks, I'm admitting it, I do. But too soon, yeah? Nothing serious for now, see how things go, I don't wanna pressure anything, I don't want anything happening if it shouldn't be, so for now, just having fun and I'll see how it turns out to be. I'm still in the "let's get to know each other a little bit more" phase. I wanna keep it that way for a while? And hope for the best. There, Lilo. I opened up ;( I do like him ;( LOL Shiftich ilyoum! SHda3wa mista7ya? ;p You looked pretty ;* I'm flirting, yes. Because I'm half asleep. I wanna see how things go tomorrow, more embaressment, drama, funny-ish moments where we laugh hysterically. Can't wait.
Aight then, gonna crash.
Goodnight
N. -Kk
xx
His girlfriend's so cute, though! I can so see what he sees in her, and I'm saying this in a non-lesbionic way, honest to God. I'm just saying... She's cute and all. Kitten and I, before knowing she was with White C. ofcourse, always saw her and her friend in class, we used to call them "Junky" and "Fix"; Junky's White C.'s woman. Yeah? That's what we're gonna call her ;D We made up those names because we saw her once in class, shaking in a very weird way! With her head down and the palms of her hands cradling her head? I don't know, and she was shaking her right leg, you know how drug abusers are when they need their fix? Chithy. So I don't know, I was like "I'ma call her junky from now on." And Kitten was all "Then her friend's fix." and we just had this label on them ever since, lame? Yeah, hello? It's Algebra? Do we have anything better to do?
Speaking of having nothing better to do, there's this effing weirdo at Gust, he goes with us but I never ever saw him INSIDE uni, just at the parking lots. Anywho, tyeelikum isalfa, the other day, I was a few minutes late for my 10 AM class. So, I was sorta rushing? Driving like a crazy lunatic to try to get to Gust, 3ashan ma ysaker system il attendance! :O And there's this dude infront of me, w bared l3an abu buroodta! Driving 3adee 3adee 30! Nigga please, get out of my fucking way, drive in the right lane or something, got a class to catch! But no, il 7abeeb 3abala he owns the effing road. Great, so I managed to maneuver and pass by him madree shloun biza7ma and gave him an "F U" with my lights? A7san. I'm like that, don't judge. But the thing is, I didnt know he goes to Gust! Lana we were in Mishref, not even close to uni, so I don't know! I freaked out when I realised that he was as he drove into the parking lot with me!
Shit... Awesome, just effing perfect. Ma 3aleina, I decided to be in total denial, so I didn't aknowledge his existence. Yeah? But he made it hard, since he followed me to the West Parking lot, the big one, then the small one, then the center parking, then North parking, all this time, I was looking for a decent spot for my car. No such luck, but also, I wanted to see a5rat'ha with this SOB. I didn't wanna seem like "Oh, he's following me." But for real, yo. All the parkings at Gust? Really? Come on... I 6aafed the whole salfa, but he did the same exact thing the very next day at uni with Ms. Q sitting next to me in the car! :O Wow, she noticed it too! So it's not just my imagination -.- So we saw him today, yeah? At around 4-ish? Something similar happened, so basically it's an everyday thing, weirdness. keifa, he amuses me! ;D He's short though, I like his car and everything, I'm superficial and shallow that way, aren't we all? It's Kuwait. Thanks. So I'm sure he's gonna be there tomorrow at 10 AM ;p I'll let you know, what else happened?
Oh! Haha, this is too fucking hilarious! A guy was hitting on Ms. Q today! LOL after she parked her car to meet me, and we were on the phone, a guy like whistled at her or something? Trying to talk to her? Seriously? At Gust? What are you, five? Stupid? Makoo a3'ba? Rule no. 1: Never, ever flirt with a girl with you at uni. Not good flirting, la good flirting, by all means, go ahead (Ehem... White C.) but like cat calling and shit? Expecting the girl to ta36eek wayh? Ana agool dish ib shaba wayed a7san ;D He obviously didn't go to Gust -.- We didn't go to our Computer class today, dude I'm seriously starting to freak out min hal class! We barely attend it! But I swear to God, I swear! It's THE most boring class ;/ He doesnt help either! -.- But we shall, from next week. Ms. Q promised! If she breaks that promise, I'll break her balls, or "lack of". Whatever, you know what I'm saying.
So let me break it down to ya, A.T? I like. Okay? Thanks, I'm admitting it, I do. But too soon, yeah? Nothing serious for now, see how things go, I don't wanna pressure anything, I don't want anything happening if it shouldn't be, so for now, just having fun and I'll see how it turns out to be. I'm still in the "let's get to know each other a little bit more" phase. I wanna keep it that way for a while? And hope for the best. There, Lilo. I opened up ;( I do like him ;( LOL Shiftich ilyoum! SHda3wa mista7ya? ;p You looked pretty ;* I'm flirting, yes. Because I'm half asleep. I wanna see how things go tomorrow, more embaressment, drama, funny-ish moments where we laugh hysterically. Can't wait.
Aight then, gonna crash.
Goodnight
N. -Kk
xx
Monday, April 27, 2009
Keep In It Real "Keepin' It Real".
This phrase originated as an African American soul music expression. It means being honest and truthful, to have an integrity without hidden agenda, without bullshit. You see, I know many people, and I gotta admit, including myself lie at times. Sometimes we do it to get away from trouble or horrific confrontations, other times we lie to protect or care about the feelings of others. But the thing is, a lie is a lie, there's no such thing as a white, pink, red, yellow, green, indigo lie. A lie, is a lie. Full stop. I can honestly tell you, that I know a person who lies for the sake of attention, to prove to others that she's as good enough like everyone else, why? I don't understand. What I do understand though, is that each individual is unique in every way possible, he or she is different from others, say by attitude, behaviour, mentality, physique, and so on.
So why give people the false image of who you truley are? I don't know why I started out talking about this, it's just that it's been bothering me the past few years, as I grow up, I realise that there are more and more pathalogical liars out there! Can you believe it? Ask yourself, how many times do you lie in one day? Once, five? Ten? Did you lose count? You might have. We lie about insignificant and uneccesary stuff, why? It's just that this issue, or so called "bad habbit" has become part of our nature, heck it plays a huge role in our lives, that we feel it to be very normal. It. Is. Not. Normal. Nevermind it being ethically speaking, okay. It isn't. A while ago, when I first comprehended the fact that some individuals lie for absolutely no apparent reason, I tried thinking about something. And came up with a decision, I decided and took it upon myself to think twice before speaking, I need to know what's coming out of my mouth.
Is it neccesary to say what I'm about to say? No? Then shut the fuck up. People don't wanna hear bullshit. And that's what it is, lying, it's bullshit. Full stop. And the fact of the matter is, lying does cause numerous problems; such as people getting hurt, emotionally, and mentally, hell even physically at times. I'll give you an example. I was talking to Aj, a friend of mine today during our break. And she was telling me this story about a girl who always, always had her boyfriend coming over to her place. And you know what's weird about the whole situation? Her dad is conservative and super religious, how did she turn out to be more open minded? Is it because of our generation? Anyways, that's not the point, the point is, her boyfriend used to walk into their place with a Hijab, Abaya, and covered his face as well so he wouldn't be known, and so the dad's girl wouldn't know he's a guy. Can the father be any more stupid? How could you not tell the difference? Body structure? Eyes? Eyebrows? Walk? Body language? No?
Unless you're dating a homosexual, in that case, dump him bitch. But apparently, her father bought the lie, and you see the boyfriend getting in and out of the house on a daily bases, spending the entire day sometimes in his girlfriend's bedroom, mind you. So one day, the girl tells her father that her "friend" is sleeping over, she also warned him that her "friend" is very shy and wouldn't appreciate it if he walked in and out of her bedroom during the day. So her friend would be comfortable and act as if she's at home, because her dad's kind hearted and naive, duh? He agrees with no objections. And so, her boyfriend came, as usuall, covered up and spends the night in her room, God knows doing what. But because karma's a bitch and really does bites you in your behind, her dad walked by her bedroom on his way downstairs, he hears the voice of her boyfriend. As he walks in, he sees his only daughter, with another man, in her bedroom. And I'll leave you to that.
Honest to God, put yourself in the father's shoes, and close your eyes. How would you feel, walking in your daughter's room and finding a complete stranger spending the night with her? Shocked? Upset? Infuriated? I don't blame you? First off, who's stupid enough to invite their boy/girlfriend over when the parents are at home? Nevermind, sleeping over? No matter how big your house is, or no matter how many times you see your dad a year, once, twice, three, rarely, do you really wanna risk the chance of getting caught? Is it worth it? I respect relationships, I really do. And it's such a beautiful feeling being loved and loving somebody, the safety, stability, and serenity that come along with it really brings comfort to the soul. But, why ruin the entire image by producing lies that will eventually affect your relationship with the person you love? In this case, why invite your boyfriend over? Why lie to your father about something as twisted and demented as that? What's wrong with having it the old fashioned, normal way?
Why don't you go out? Have lunch? Watch a movie? Walk, or do whatever, or whomever, outside your house? If you have no respect for yourself nor your boyfriend, at least have the curtosy to show respect for your parents. I get it when you pick him up from his place, or him dropping you off to your place and so on. I do that as well, because I trust the person I have a relationship with, but not to the extent that I let him sleep over in my bedroom, with my parents, and the rest of my family sleeping at the same house. No, it's wrong. Forgive me for being a closed - minded person like that, but I am. And another thing that got under my skin, a friend called me today to talk, she's been with her boyfriend for a while now, not too long though, but she "trusted" the guy, and to me, he also seemed pretty great because I see how he treats and cares about her. I respected him. Emphasis on the word respected, past tense? Yeah.
When they first started dating, he told her that he doesnt have a Facebook account, "ma3anda hasuwalif". Eventually, she found out that he did and lied to her about it, WHY LIE? I don't understand! My friend searched for his email in that website, and it was there. His picture, his account, she saw him. And he lied to her, he lied to the girl he was crazy about, it just doesnt make sense. He didn't stop there, because she's smart and sneaky and all, she added him on a fake account she has, and he accepted right away asking her to add him on her MSN list. Really? Would you do that if you're with someone and want things to get serious and fast? No. Why? Because it's wrong, ethically wrong.
If you wanna fool around, act like a player, and hold your wheenie like a trophey as if you're proud of it, like it's a badge which proves your manly hood, they by all means, you do that. But don't be serious with a girl, expect her to be completely commited to you, and you can be a playing bitch at the side. No. She dumped him, obviously. Who wouldn't? She let the first lie slide, when he said that he never had a Facebook acount, but this? No, she did the right thing, she's smart, thought with her head and not her heart, which is what's rational and logical. I'm glad, proud of her. See what lying does? It corrupted an entire relationship and flushed it down the toilet, he just ruined an amazing chance of being with a person who will really make him happy for the rest of his life, why? Because he's a fucker, that's why. Lying is bad. End of story, just don't lie, find a way to say the truth, it can come out in different ways, it all depends on the way you deliver your message. You don't have to be harsh, too forward, or rude. There are various means into speaking and saying the truth.
P.S. I met Lilo & Stitch the other day at Gust, holy shit, they're just too cute! Suwalifhum twanes! I hung out with Lilo and ditched my Algebra class because I hate it? But mostly because I wanted to get to know her! First it was weird, I have to admit, bas ma3a isuwalif we sort of broke the ice and took it easy, she's so adorable! Then Stitch and Ms. Q joined us, us four should not hang out together, it's just too funny! <3 And I really do hope they didn't get freaked out from our momentary fights, Ms. Q and I, we do that sometimes. Keeping my fingers crossed, because I havent seen, heard or read anything from them ever since -.- Wienkum? :( So yeah, that's about it. I'm wrapping it up, too tired tonight.
Goodnight
N.-Kk
xx
So why give people the false image of who you truley are? I don't know why I started out talking about this, it's just that it's been bothering me the past few years, as I grow up, I realise that there are more and more pathalogical liars out there! Can you believe it? Ask yourself, how many times do you lie in one day? Once, five? Ten? Did you lose count? You might have. We lie about insignificant and uneccesary stuff, why? It's just that this issue, or so called "bad habbit" has become part of our nature, heck it plays a huge role in our lives, that we feel it to be very normal. It. Is. Not. Normal. Nevermind it being ethically speaking, okay. It isn't. A while ago, when I first comprehended the fact that some individuals lie for absolutely no apparent reason, I tried thinking about something. And came up with a decision, I decided and took it upon myself to think twice before speaking, I need to know what's coming out of my mouth.
Is it neccesary to say what I'm about to say? No? Then shut the fuck up. People don't wanna hear bullshit. And that's what it is, lying, it's bullshit. Full stop. And the fact of the matter is, lying does cause numerous problems; such as people getting hurt, emotionally, and mentally, hell even physically at times. I'll give you an example. I was talking to Aj, a friend of mine today during our break. And she was telling me this story about a girl who always, always had her boyfriend coming over to her place. And you know what's weird about the whole situation? Her dad is conservative and super religious, how did she turn out to be more open minded? Is it because of our generation? Anyways, that's not the point, the point is, her boyfriend used to walk into their place with a Hijab, Abaya, and covered his face as well so he wouldn't be known, and so the dad's girl wouldn't know he's a guy. Can the father be any more stupid? How could you not tell the difference? Body structure? Eyes? Eyebrows? Walk? Body language? No?
Unless you're dating a homosexual, in that case, dump him bitch. But apparently, her father bought the lie, and you see the boyfriend getting in and out of the house on a daily bases, spending the entire day sometimes in his girlfriend's bedroom, mind you. So one day, the girl tells her father that her "friend" is sleeping over, she also warned him that her "friend" is very shy and wouldn't appreciate it if he walked in and out of her bedroom during the day. So her friend would be comfortable and act as if she's at home, because her dad's kind hearted and naive, duh? He agrees with no objections. And so, her boyfriend came, as usuall, covered up and spends the night in her room, God knows doing what. But because karma's a bitch and really does bites you in your behind, her dad walked by her bedroom on his way downstairs, he hears the voice of her boyfriend. As he walks in, he sees his only daughter, with another man, in her bedroom. And I'll leave you to that.
Honest to God, put yourself in the father's shoes, and close your eyes. How would you feel, walking in your daughter's room and finding a complete stranger spending the night with her? Shocked? Upset? Infuriated? I don't blame you? First off, who's stupid enough to invite their boy/girlfriend over when the parents are at home? Nevermind, sleeping over? No matter how big your house is, or no matter how many times you see your dad a year, once, twice, three, rarely, do you really wanna risk the chance of getting caught? Is it worth it? I respect relationships, I really do. And it's such a beautiful feeling being loved and loving somebody, the safety, stability, and serenity that come along with it really brings comfort to the soul. But, why ruin the entire image by producing lies that will eventually affect your relationship with the person you love? In this case, why invite your boyfriend over? Why lie to your father about something as twisted and demented as that? What's wrong with having it the old fashioned, normal way?
Why don't you go out? Have lunch? Watch a movie? Walk, or do whatever, or whomever, outside your house? If you have no respect for yourself nor your boyfriend, at least have the curtosy to show respect for your parents. I get it when you pick him up from his place, or him dropping you off to your place and so on. I do that as well, because I trust the person I have a relationship with, but not to the extent that I let him sleep over in my bedroom, with my parents, and the rest of my family sleeping at the same house. No, it's wrong. Forgive me for being a closed - minded person like that, but I am. And another thing that got under my skin, a friend called me today to talk, she's been with her boyfriend for a while now, not too long though, but she "trusted" the guy, and to me, he also seemed pretty great because I see how he treats and cares about her. I respected him. Emphasis on the word respected, past tense? Yeah.
When they first started dating, he told her that he doesnt have a Facebook account, "ma3anda hasuwalif". Eventually, she found out that he did and lied to her about it, WHY LIE? I don't understand! My friend searched for his email in that website, and it was there. His picture, his account, she saw him. And he lied to her, he lied to the girl he was crazy about, it just doesnt make sense. He didn't stop there, because she's smart and sneaky and all, she added him on a fake account she has, and he accepted right away asking her to add him on her MSN list. Really? Would you do that if you're with someone and want things to get serious and fast? No. Why? Because it's wrong, ethically wrong.
If you wanna fool around, act like a player, and hold your wheenie like a trophey as if you're proud of it, like it's a badge which proves your manly hood, they by all means, you do that. But don't be serious with a girl, expect her to be completely commited to you, and you can be a playing bitch at the side. No. She dumped him, obviously. Who wouldn't? She let the first lie slide, when he said that he never had a Facebook acount, but this? No, she did the right thing, she's smart, thought with her head and not her heart, which is what's rational and logical. I'm glad, proud of her. See what lying does? It corrupted an entire relationship and flushed it down the toilet, he just ruined an amazing chance of being with a person who will really make him happy for the rest of his life, why? Because he's a fucker, that's why. Lying is bad. End of story, just don't lie, find a way to say the truth, it can come out in different ways, it all depends on the way you deliver your message. You don't have to be harsh, too forward, or rude. There are various means into speaking and saying the truth.
P.S. I met Lilo & Stitch the other day at Gust, holy shit, they're just too cute! Suwalifhum twanes! I hung out with Lilo and ditched my Algebra class because I hate it? But mostly because I wanted to get to know her! First it was weird, I have to admit, bas ma3a isuwalif we sort of broke the ice and took it easy, she's so adorable! Then Stitch and Ms. Q joined us, us four should not hang out together, it's just too funny! <3 And I really do hope they didn't get freaked out from our momentary fights, Ms. Q and I, we do that sometimes. Keeping my fingers crossed, because I havent seen, heard or read anything from them ever since -.- Wienkum? :( So yeah, that's about it. I'm wrapping it up, too tired tonight.
Goodnight
N.-Kk
xx
Friday, April 24, 2009
That Part Of Me Left Yesterday, The Heart Of Me Is Strong Today. No Regrets, I'm Blessed To Say The Old Me Dead And Gone Away.
Makoo a8dam min this song? But I <3 it.
Guwa there...
How's everything? So I'm in Dubai, right? And shit, there's just so much to talk about, I wouldnt do any justice posting just one post about the weekend. Believe me when I tell you, this country's so breath taking! But before I write about that, I wanna talk about thr flight down here. Don't you just wish that you can pack your bags, get in the car, and have that car drive you to the plane itself? Where you could skip all the procedures and stages, getting everything ready, getting your tickets, taking the luggage, and the whole jazz? AND JUST GET IN THE FUCKING PLANE ALREADY? I feel you. I really do. Out flight was due to take off at exactly 6.05 PM! Supposedly, people go to the airport about an hour and a half before, at least an hour before the boarding. That way, you'll have time to take care of everything, maybe have some coffee or shop for last minute shit before leaving.
But because we're not normal, because we're different than everyone else, we leave everything lei 7azat il 7aza so we can simply panic. Mama woeks well under pressure, but she thinks the same rule applies for peolpe who travel, and that's.. Just.. Not.. Right, now, is it? Nope. We leave the house at around 4.45 and reach the airport like half an hour later? Why? Because our driver decided to take his affin time, thanks. Nevermind, so we're there. And it's so crowded! Maybe because it's a weekend, but the airport was so full and packed, I felt like it was the summer holiday! Shda3wa, wein ray7een? :O Hfft... A5er shay we were told that we got in from the wrong door, and we had to leave and get in from somewhere else? Seriously?
Ma 3aleina, that took like 20 minutes because of all the people infront of us, the que was pretty long. There goes our chance for some Frapps before the flight. Needless to say, it was sort of our fault, we left home late, arrived late, and got in through the right door late. So yeah, gal3atna. 5ala9na min hatha, we go to check in our luggage and take our tickets, no time to buy anything :( I so wanted a book for the plane, nope. Ma gedart. Madree what's the name of the place, where you reach in the other side of the airport and go to your Gate madree cham for the plane? Ee, that line was THE MOST LONGEST LINE I'VE EVER SEEN since I was born! In airports, I mean! ;p Wei3, wei3, inzein? Wei3.
And what made it worse was that there was this Kuwaiti man jidamee, middle aged.. Ga ed yhafhif, huffing and puffing, like yalla 5al9oony! Sir, we ALL have a plane to catch, it aint just you, dumbass. Wei3, I hate people ilee ma feehum 9aber! Moo chithy 3aad ;/ za7ma, it's no ones fault. The take off time is 6.05 PM, yeah? We got in the plane at 6 but we flew at 7.05 PM!!!!!!! Min 9ij umhum?! Ee. They're not shitting us, people. They are not. Il mafroo9' it takes us almost an hour and a half to get to U.A.E, there was this American guy sitting right next to me, wwoooyyy iyanin! <3 Kbeer ya3ni, but I loved him! Gi3adt asoulif ma3aah, mama and I. He's so nice! Ubey yshaweg walla ;/ 7amdella we landed on time. Ubey something happened after we had our food in the plane! Haha, it's funny now that I remember it!!!! Not really.
Mama asked for her black coffee so she asked the stuirdess (I don't know how to spell that word w malee 5ilg I check?) So the lady was like, sure, I'll be right back.
5 minutes later...
10 minutes later...
Nothing...
So we asked another guy, and what does he say? "I'm sorry, it's too late, we don't serve anything from the bar now because we're landing soon." -.- Mom was all what the fuck...? Seriously? She didn't say that, but her face defenitely did ;D So the American dude next to us 3a9ab!! He was like "Erm, excuse me Sir, but this lady asked for coffee a few minutes ago right after you guys took the food away, how is it her fault now?" Amoot? Isn't he sweet? CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD Y'ALL! It isn't! The mna looked at him ina shtaby?? Rayilha? -.- 7ayawan, asshole! Bad affin service :O t ayilaw shgaal? "He was like, you didn't ask ME to get you your coffee, did you? Was it ME?" in a sarcastic way, like it's not my job. Athbi7a?! Should I just pull the handle thingie of the Emergency exit right next to umi and push him out??? Walla ma yisti7ee? Then mom was like "Ta3al, garib garib.. What's your name?" Chan the guy says "Look at my tag name, what does it say?"
Oh My God! Walla 3aib ;/
She read his name and promised him that this would be the last plane he'll ever take as an employee. All right MAMA! Woot wwot *Victory dance* But she said it in a very cold way, which made it even better? ;D And you know how he reacted? He was even colder, like go ahead, lady. Bit5ar3eeny ya3ni? ;)
Mother fucker.
So anyways!!!!! Now that I've talked about that, let me tell you about HERE!!!! Here is amazing! Wait, wait, wait. The Airport is 7ada 3ajeeb! Whoever came to Dubai must agree with me ;D Right, yeah? 7ada! <3 Everything was clean. . . . *tears, lost and lots of 'em* We reach the hotel, and it's called Al Murooj Rotana? It's beautiful! Mashallah mashalla *tifs on building* And we go to our room. Hold up, I've always always always wanted to do something everytime I walk into a hotel room.... I took my shoes off and jumped on the bed! <3 Comfortable much? Seriously, I've decided to take the pillows home with me, thanks. They're lovely, 3ajeebeen! ;p I told mom not to do anything tonight, just chill in the room, order food, pig out and watch T.V. She totally agreed. by 12.30 AM or so, we were in Lala land.
The next morning, 6.30 AM... No, really. 6.30 AM...
"N. -Kk, mama, mama yalla goomay byi2athin i9'eher wintay leil7een nayma, yalla mama let's not waste a great day!" Mom says as she slides the curtains to the sides revealing the incredible view of the city, the whole wall was a window, covered in glass, il man9'ar iyanin mashalah tabarak ira7man! Was it nearly noon? I sat up, checked my phone for messages or calls, AND I DIDN'T SEE WHAT TIME IT WAS! Madree leish -.- 9ij 3'abiya! I got out of bed 3'a9ib, had a quick shower and got dressed to havve breakfast with mom at the other end of the hotel, il jaw kaan r6ooba. I. Don't. Like. R6ooba ;/ But whatever, kan fee hawa so it was lovely-ish? Yup. 5ala9na and went shopping, then and only then, my body started playing games. Yes, I had my period.
I don't need to say anymore, ba6ny gaam y3awerny, my mood was getting shittier by the minute, and poor umi seriously wanted to shop some more
Makoo 3arab wayed! Seriously, I've always heard in ohh most of the population here is ajanib, bas gelt they're over exaggerating! Ina shda3wa inshalla 5aleejiyeen ibaladhum! Nope, walla walla, I swear, yimkin a total of 5 families 3arab shifthum out of all the people I've seen in the streets, 2 malls, 2 restaurants, wil gahawee!
Where tthe fuck is the Imaratiyeen? Leish mi5tafyeen? 3'areeba walla, and now I'm in the hotel room again while mama's downstairs in the conference. She's so mi5tar3a with the fact that I'm sitting alone, she's calling every few minutes to check up on me, la ba3ad came upstairs a couple of times to see if i was still alive. Before leaving, she was like mama walla you have no idea how many stories I've heard about crimes in hotels! Oola Alla wakbar 3aleich! Crimes mara wa7da?? Leish 3aad? -.-
Mothers...
She wants to have dinner somewhere 9oub il ba7ar ilyoum, ma nadree wein yet. A7na 3alalla w 3ala the cab drivers. Kil ma ndish a car, mama would say hello and ask the driver of places he'd recommend for good food, and he'd be like yeah I know a good place w ywadeena. Hathy 7aalatna min awal ma 6abeina ideera, the places are great though, so thank you cab drivers ;D Oh, OH! Niseit agoolukum! Ilyoum for lunch, just before leaving the mall, my mom asked one of the security guys there where to go for some good sea food. Shgaalaha? He was like "You want sea?" Mom said no, sea food. "You want food? There are food courts in the mall." Mom said no, sea food. "You want aquarium? It's upstairs" Seriously? Screw this, mom was like okay, thank you, ma ga9art, you've been a great help. Then he stopped us from walking away wil 7abeeb shgaal?
"Listen to me, ma'am. If you want sea food, go to the aquarium. For the fishES! It's not called sea food, it's called an Aqua-ri-um." And he emphasized ever so slowly on the last word as if to teach my mother, a well educated Doctor, a head of an entire unit in the hospital, how to pronounce the word aquarium. " Aqua-ri-um... Thank you." and headed to the main entrance to catch a cab. She said it slowly, exactly the way he did chena ina ya3ni t3alimat kelma yideeda, just to make him feel proud?
He'd lose his pair if he said that to me. Mom's just too patient. Ubey, he was actually serious!!!!!!!!! And she thanked him -.- Really? So yeah, I'm watching this movie, that's called I don't know what? But there's these three charecters; Lee, Grace and Adam? And they're obviously stuck in the forest slash up a three slash there's water everywhere slash I don't know what the place is called but I hope you get what I'm saying?And there's an aligator in the water so they're basically trapped because their boat doesnt work. Anyways ba5areb 3aleikum il filim ;D
Adam get's cut into pieces and his limbs become the aligators dinner, Grace bleeds to death because the mother fucker bit so deep and hard into her thigh as she was trying to reach the boat down there. Lee is the only one who survives by grabbing a gun from Adam's body after swimming a few meters away to him, aims the gun into the aligators mouth and shoots one of his eye balls out! ;D So he dies wa3alaya and goes down into the water, she then gets on the boat after the coast was clear and headed back to madree wein? the ending was lame but I liked the freakyness of the movie. Blehh, I was bored -.- Ti3abt, ee my flight's sometime tomorrow il 3a9er? And mom's is at night, I hope I find a nice American dude to keep me company in the plane on the way back? ;$ We'll see. Anywho, I miss the girls wayed ;* And A.T il kalb, he's in Bahrain to see Formula One. He's heading back tomorrow, good. So I gots to go study for Algebra now, 3andee midterm on Monday, Alla yaster ma just shay! ;/ Glad I got my books with me, I'll study 'til mom comes back.
P.S. There's alcohol in the mini bar, and I'm not even tempted to touch it. Yeah right -.- Ayeeb ma3ay? ;p 7ag Ms. Q ;p (She's gonna kill me for saying this) i.l.y;*
P.S2. Let's get one thing clear ladies and gentlemen, I don't like A.T, I'm still not over Kk, so tawenas.
P.S3. I SAW STITCH ON THURSDAY, AMS? EE AMS! It was akward ;( I felt like I made it worse for her? Kint aby il ar9' tinshag w tibla3ny! And as usuall, I'm sure I said something completely stupid and irrelavent, that's what happens to me when I get nervous or feel akward. And Ms. Q didn't help? Hfft -.- But I'm glad I met her and found out who she is <3 Ma bega ila Lilo2o! ;*
P.S4. a7ibich Fz ;*
P.S 5. I like A.T. Thanks. Meh.. Whatever.
I'm gonna watch Sleeping Beauty on T.V before I hit the books.
Goodnight
N. -Kk
xx
Guwa there...
How's everything? So I'm in Dubai, right? And shit, there's just so much to talk about, I wouldnt do any justice posting just one post about the weekend. Believe me when I tell you, this country's so breath taking! But before I write about that, I wanna talk about thr flight down here. Don't you just wish that you can pack your bags, get in the car, and have that car drive you to the plane itself? Where you could skip all the procedures and stages, getting everything ready, getting your tickets, taking the luggage, and the whole jazz? AND JUST GET IN THE FUCKING PLANE ALREADY? I feel you. I really do. Out flight was due to take off at exactly 6.05 PM! Supposedly, people go to the airport about an hour and a half before, at least an hour before the boarding. That way, you'll have time to take care of everything, maybe have some coffee or shop for last minute shit before leaving.
But because we're not normal, because we're different than everyone else, we leave everything lei 7azat il 7aza so we can simply panic. Mama woeks well under pressure, but she thinks the same rule applies for peolpe who travel, and that's.. Just.. Not.. Right, now, is it? Nope. We leave the house at around 4.45 and reach the airport like half an hour later? Why? Because our driver decided to take his affin time, thanks. Nevermind, so we're there. And it's so crowded! Maybe because it's a weekend, but the airport was so full and packed, I felt like it was the summer holiday! Shda3wa, wein ray7een? :O Hfft... A5er shay we were told that we got in from the wrong door, and we had to leave and get in from somewhere else? Seriously?
Ma 3aleina, that took like 20 minutes because of all the people infront of us, the que was pretty long. There goes our chance for some Frapps before the flight. Needless to say, it was sort of our fault, we left home late, arrived late, and got in through the right door late. So yeah, gal3atna. 5ala9na min hatha, we go to check in our luggage and take our tickets, no time to buy anything :( I so wanted a book for the plane, nope. Ma gedart. Madree what's the name of the place, where you reach in the other side of the airport and go to your Gate madree cham for the plane? Ee, that line was THE MOST LONGEST LINE I'VE EVER SEEN since I was born! In airports, I mean! ;p Wei3, wei3, inzein? Wei3.
And what made it worse was that there was this Kuwaiti man jidamee, middle aged.. Ga ed yhafhif, huffing and puffing, like yalla 5al9oony! Sir, we ALL have a plane to catch, it aint just you, dumbass. Wei3, I hate people ilee ma feehum 9aber! Moo chithy 3aad ;/ za7ma, it's no ones fault. The take off time is 6.05 PM, yeah? We got in the plane at 6 but we flew at 7.05 PM!!!!!!! Min 9ij umhum?! Ee. They're not shitting us, people. They are not. Il mafroo9' it takes us almost an hour and a half to get to U.A.E, there was this American guy sitting right next to me, wwoooyyy iyanin! <3 Kbeer ya3ni, but I loved him! Gi3adt asoulif ma3aah, mama and I. He's so nice! Ubey yshaweg walla ;/ 7amdella we landed on time. Ubey something happened after we had our food in the plane! Haha, it's funny now that I remember it!!!! Not really.
Mama asked for her black coffee so she asked the stuirdess (I don't know how to spell that word w malee 5ilg I check?) So the lady was like, sure, I'll be right back.
5 minutes later...
10 minutes later...
Nothing...
So we asked another guy, and what does he say? "I'm sorry, it's too late, we don't serve anything from the bar now because we're landing soon." -.- Mom was all what the fuck...? Seriously? She didn't say that, but her face defenitely did ;D So the American dude next to us 3a9ab!! He was like "Erm, excuse me Sir, but this lady asked for coffee a few minutes ago right after you guys took the food away, how is it her fault now?" Amoot? Isn't he sweet? CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD Y'ALL! It isn't! The mna looked at him ina shtaby?? Rayilha? -.- 7ayawan, asshole! Bad affin service :O t ayilaw shgaal? "He was like, you didn't ask ME to get you your coffee, did you? Was it ME?" in a sarcastic way, like it's not my job. Athbi7a?! Should I just pull the handle thingie of the Emergency exit right next to umi and push him out??? Walla ma yisti7ee? Then mom was like "Ta3al, garib garib.. What's your name?" Chan the guy says "Look at my tag name, what does it say?"
Oh My God! Walla 3aib ;/
She read his name and promised him that this would be the last plane he'll ever take as an employee. All right MAMA! Woot wwot *Victory dance* But she said it in a very cold way, which made it even better? ;D And you know how he reacted? He was even colder, like go ahead, lady. Bit5ar3eeny ya3ni? ;)
Mother fucker.
So anyways!!!!! Now that I've talked about that, let me tell you about HERE!!!! Here is amazing! Wait, wait, wait. The Airport is 7ada 3ajeeb! Whoever came to Dubai must agree with me ;D Right, yeah? 7ada! <3 Everything was clean. . . . *tears, lost and lots of 'em* We reach the hotel, and it's called Al Murooj Rotana? It's beautiful! Mashallah mashalla *tifs on building* And we go to our room. Hold up, I've always always always wanted to do something everytime I walk into a hotel room.... I took my shoes off and jumped on the bed! <3 Comfortable much? Seriously, I've decided to take the pillows home with me, thanks. They're lovely, 3ajeebeen! ;p I told mom not to do anything tonight, just chill in the room, order food, pig out and watch T.V. She totally agreed. by 12.30 AM or so, we were in Lala land.
The next morning, 6.30 AM... No, really. 6.30 AM...
"N. -Kk, mama, mama yalla goomay byi2athin i9'eher wintay leil7een nayma, yalla mama let's not waste a great day!" Mom says as she slides the curtains to the sides revealing the incredible view of the city, the whole wall was a window, covered in glass, il man9'ar iyanin mashalah tabarak ira7man! Was it nearly noon? I sat up, checked my phone for messages or calls, AND I DIDN'T SEE WHAT TIME IT WAS! Madree leish -.- 9ij 3'abiya! I got out of bed 3'a9ib, had a quick shower and got dressed to havve breakfast with mom at the other end of the hotel, il jaw kaan r6ooba. I. Don't. Like. R6ooba ;/ But whatever, kan fee hawa so it was lovely-ish? Yup. 5ala9na and went shopping, then and only then, my body started playing games. Yes, I had my period.
I don't need to say anymore, ba6ny gaam y3awerny, my mood was getting shittier by the minute, and poor umi seriously wanted to shop some more
Makoo 3arab wayed! Seriously, I've always heard in ohh most of the population here is ajanib, bas gelt they're over exaggerating! Ina shda3wa inshalla 5aleejiyeen ibaladhum! Nope, walla walla, I swear, yimkin a total of 5 families 3arab shifthum out of all the people I've seen in the streets, 2 malls, 2 restaurants, wil gahawee!
Where tthe fuck is the Imaratiyeen? Leish mi5tafyeen? 3'areeba walla, and now I'm in the hotel room again while mama's downstairs in the conference. She's so mi5tar3a with the fact that I'm sitting alone, she's calling every few minutes to check up on me, la ba3ad came upstairs a couple of times to see if i was still alive. Before leaving, she was like mama walla you have no idea how many stories I've heard about crimes in hotels! Oola Alla wakbar 3aleich! Crimes mara wa7da?? Leish 3aad? -.-
Mothers...
She wants to have dinner somewhere 9oub il ba7ar ilyoum, ma nadree wein yet. A7na 3alalla w 3ala the cab drivers. Kil ma ndish a car, mama would say hello and ask the driver of places he'd recommend for good food, and he'd be like yeah I know a good place w ywadeena. Hathy 7aalatna min awal ma 6abeina ideera, the places are great though, so thank you cab drivers ;D Oh, OH! Niseit agoolukum! Ilyoum for lunch, just before leaving the mall, my mom asked one of the security guys there where to go for some good sea food. Shgaalaha? He was like "You want sea?" Mom said no, sea food. "You want food? There are food courts in the mall." Mom said no, sea food. "You want aquarium? It's upstairs" Seriously? Screw this, mom was like okay, thank you, ma ga9art, you've been a great help. Then he stopped us from walking away wil 7abeeb shgaal?
"Listen to me, ma'am. If you want sea food, go to the aquarium. For the fishES! It's not called sea food, it's called an Aqua-ri-um." And he emphasized ever so slowly on the last word as if to teach my mother, a well educated Doctor, a head of an entire unit in the hospital, how to pronounce the word aquarium. " Aqua-ri-um... Thank you." and headed to the main entrance to catch a cab. She said it slowly, exactly the way he did chena ina ya3ni t3alimat kelma yideeda, just to make him feel proud?
He'd lose his pair if he said that to me. Mom's just too patient. Ubey, he was actually serious!!!!!!!!! And she thanked him -.- Really? So yeah, I'm watching this movie, that's called I don't know what? But there's these three charecters; Lee, Grace and Adam? And they're obviously stuck in the forest slash up a three slash there's water everywhere slash I don't know what the place is called but I hope you get what I'm saying?And there's an aligator in the water so they're basically trapped because their boat doesnt work. Anyways ba5areb 3aleikum il filim ;D
Adam get's cut into pieces and his limbs become the aligators dinner, Grace bleeds to death because the mother fucker bit so deep and hard into her thigh as she was trying to reach the boat down there. Lee is the only one who survives by grabbing a gun from Adam's body after swimming a few meters away to him, aims the gun into the aligators mouth and shoots one of his eye balls out! ;D So he dies wa3alaya and goes down into the water, she then gets on the boat after the coast was clear and headed back to madree wein? the ending was lame but I liked the freakyness of the movie. Blehh, I was bored -.- Ti3abt, ee my flight's sometime tomorrow il 3a9er? And mom's is at night, I hope I find a nice American dude to keep me company in the plane on the way back? ;$ We'll see. Anywho, I miss the girls wayed ;* And A.T il kalb, he's in Bahrain to see Formula One. He's heading back tomorrow, good. So I gots to go study for Algebra now, 3andee midterm on Monday, Alla yaster ma just shay! ;/ Glad I got my books with me, I'll study 'til mom comes back.
P.S. There's alcohol in the mini bar, and I'm not even tempted to touch it. Yeah right -.- Ayeeb ma3ay? ;p 7ag Ms. Q ;p (She's gonna kill me for saying this) i.l.y;*
P.S2. Let's get one thing clear ladies and gentlemen, I don't like A.T, I'm still not over Kk, so tawenas.
P.S3. I SAW STITCH ON THURSDAY, AMS? EE AMS! It was akward ;( I felt like I made it worse for her? Kint aby il ar9' tinshag w tibla3ny! And as usuall, I'm sure I said something completely stupid and irrelavent, that's what happens to me when I get nervous or feel akward. And Ms. Q didn't help? Hfft -.- But I'm glad I met her and found out who she is <3 Ma bega ila Lilo2o! ;*
P.S4. a7ibich Fz ;*
P.S 5. I like A.T. Thanks. Meh.. Whatever.
I'm gonna watch Sleeping Beauty on T.V before I hit the books.
Goodnight
N. -Kk
xx
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
But Now The Prom Queen Is Crying, Sitting Outside Of My Door. See, You Never Know How Everything Can Turn Around...
Waaaaaah. It's such a crazy world. Don't you think? I mean, it's huge! To the extent that we don't know other significant and major things happening at this very moment in other countries, even the ones neighboring us! Am I sounding incredibely boring to you? Seriously, man. Think about it, how much do we know about the educational systems in let's say, Czech Republic? Or Finland? Or Morocco? I know this issue doesn't seem very important to you, but you never know how things change masively in the future, maybe knowing about simple and not very extraordinary things might very much benefit you in numerous ways later on. Another issue that will most probably pass by you is litter and dropping garbage in other countries, heck in some, it's actually illegal, you pay a fine or go to jail I think? Madri minu galee, maby atfalsaf without getting my facts straight. I don't know why I started this particular post the way I have, change I guess? Mama's not here, so we're obviously not going anywhere to study -.-
A.T is travelling later on tonight, when the traffic is bareable, I might pass by his place to say goodbye. We'll see how tonight goes, and I have to study for my Politics quiz tomorrow, honest to God, I have no clue whatsoever about this chapter. I don't even know what it's called! :O Nevermind the number it is. Pssh. Whatever, I'll find out later ;D If I ever get to check my Gust email. Right now, it's not working, damn the I.T Department, Peoplesoft and Gust Email wouldn't open! Stitch, Ms. Q, did you try opening yours? No? Do it! Oh my God, random much? I just remembered something hilarious. I hope it sounds just as funny when I write about it! I have this bad tendancy of making old suwalif boring -.- 'Cause I just add so much detail, that the person listening or reading will be all "What the fuck...? Wait, I thought that... Didn't you tell me...? Whatever, forget it, I don't wanna know. Just shut up" And I'd be like -.- Fine. So here goes.
Ms. Q and I do stupid things at Gust, yeah? No, stupid doesnt even come close to our behavior in that university, we act like babies! You have no clue! We embaress ourselves, like have a quick boob grab for eachother in public -.- Who does that? What kind of normal, well behaved, RATIONAL people do that? Let me mention a few things that happened ONLY today, not even, like the last three hours of uni! We park the car and walk in, nroo7 the bathroom and after, il ma9ala n9alee then head to Subway for sandwiches. We SPECIFICALLY ask the guy what we want, step by step, like it always is at Subway! The dude working there is obviously new, we've never seen him before, at least I havent. That's not the point. Ms. Q memorized my order, so she basically did all teh talking, and we got the exact same thing, minus black olives in her sandwich. (See what I mean by details?) Fa 3ala a5er shay, when we choose the sauces we want, the guy y7i6 3ala keeeifffaaa in both the sandwiches, AFTER saying OUT LOUD which ones we wanted on our sandwiches! Hfft, we let it pass because he's new. So we were like "Can I have... Okay, that. And the one behind the... Not so much please, okay. Okay. Okay, that's enough, okay some more would be fine. That's it. And some... Okay then." And he'd have such a cold face, like dude, are you ears functioning properly?!
Narfaznee! It was a hot day already, any more iritation will just kill me. T3'adeina by the couches, and there's this guy we always, always comment about at Gust. He's sort of a friend of a friend? Sort of. So basically, when we see him, he does stupid things to grab our attention like coughing or talking out loud and saying something completely abnoxious! Even smiling, not even a smile, a smirk! Yes, a smirk! And all we do is either ignore him and look away, or comment about whatever he's doing, he's such a jackass, the team clown. You know? He's a clown, actually, Ms. Q and I call him and his little friend "The Clowns"! ;D Il muhim, kaan ga3ed yamna 9oub il couches on the phone ofcourse, w mna3em 9ouuttaaaa 3al a5er! We were both like WTF? Shfeeh hatha? I KNOW that his voice is not like that, it was sickening ;p W 3aad a7na ma ga9arna, ga6eina athoona! ;$ Ma 3alein, shsawa il 7abeeb? He literally LAID DOWN NSEDA7 3ALA THE COUCH! Ana 9ar feeny... -.- And Ms. Q was laughing so hard, her face went red! We were so ashkara, but do you blame us? It wasn't even like a regular insidi7ing! But like, striking a pose? Chena 3abala someone's gonna take a picture of him? It. Was. Very. Gay and UNATTRACTIVE! :O Wei3 ;p He's funny though.
Shinu ba3ad? Isn't it obvious I'm writing about random things? Oh! I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT WHITE C.! White C. Alla ysalimkum is a guy with us at uni, he's one of the yummies, and believe you me, this guy... Is... A... Yummy! <3 He's just too adorable, and we've always made eye contact, even while I was having that thing with Kk, but it wasnt like I was doing anything wrong, he was just cute! And the biggest thing that ever happened between us was eye contact. So I'm guessing 3adi? Don't judge me. I'm marrying him <3 I wish... Bleh yjanin <3 UNTIL TODAY! Nothing happened until today! Aaaaaah, I died and became alive again because of him! Fucker. So I just arrived at Gust, yeah? Trying to find a parking, and I saw him getting his books out of his car! First, I was all "Yeah, whatever, so what?" So I barely gave him face, lana first I was still driving, so I'ma just be passing by him, barely any eye contact there, second of all, baa6 chabdee 'cause I havent seen him that much the past couple of days at uni. Keify, m3a9ba, I'm like that.
Soooooooo! I pass by, and what does he do? he looks out to see who's driving, and he looked at me, hnee I'm pretending like I don't know how that he exists, then what does he do???????? Ladies and Gentlemen, White C. smiles at me. Yeah, thanks! ;D He smiled, and it wasn't a very direct, straight forward, I'm looking at you and I wanna say hi kind of smile? More like... Should I look away? No she's looking at me behind her glasses, I'm sure, so I'ma smile real quick then tilt my head and continue what I was doing smile. And he gave me the "Should I look away? No she's looking at me behind her glasses, I'm sure, so I'ma smile real quick then tilt my head and continue what I was doing" smile! Woooooyyyyyy <3 Yisti7ee! I know, because he looked at the ground right after, and because I'm such a dumbass, I didn't smile back! Why? Dude, I was in total shock! He knows I'm alive! ;p Walabusshhh! Cute, and then!!! When I pass by again (Not deliberately ofcourse ;$) He smiles again, but this time, a bigger one, still shyness though! I melted ;p I'm such a hooker, but I honestly cannot help myself, he's such a yum.
Ee ba3ad, oh before that, Ms. Q and I were at the Clinic because she wasnt feeling well, I didn't want her going alone so I picked her up and took her! 7ayatee, it was very obvious she was in pain! :( I hope the medication makes you feel better babe! ;* And that's about it, I'ma have to start studying! :( There's just so much to cover in this chapter, God darn Politics -.- I despise the SOB who created it, akreha! But I love out professor! He's hilarious! Everytime I hold the phone in class to see what time it was or if I recieved a msg or whatever, he'd be like "Tmasgeen a97abik now? In class? Is it neccesary?" with an amused smile, and because it's so early in the morning I'd be all... -.- I was seeing what time it was, Sir. Bleh... I love him and his horrible English Accent <3 I hope this quiz goes well! ;D
PS. Ihdaa2, Fz;*
I love when you move like that, shake it from the front to back. Put my hands on your hips, make me wanna kiss them lips. It's the way that you move girl, everything you do girl. It's something that I want and it's you, girl... There's something that I want girl, it's you! <3 I love? Very much so! ;D
Goodnight
N. -Kk
xx
A.T is travelling later on tonight, when the traffic is bareable, I might pass by his place to say goodbye. We'll see how tonight goes, and I have to study for my Politics quiz tomorrow, honest to God, I have no clue whatsoever about this chapter. I don't even know what it's called! :O Nevermind the number it is. Pssh. Whatever, I'll find out later ;D If I ever get to check my Gust email. Right now, it's not working, damn the I.T Department, Peoplesoft and Gust Email wouldn't open! Stitch, Ms. Q, did you try opening yours? No? Do it! Oh my God, random much? I just remembered something hilarious. I hope it sounds just as funny when I write about it! I have this bad tendancy of making old suwalif boring -.- 'Cause I just add so much detail, that the person listening or reading will be all "What the fuck...? Wait, I thought that... Didn't you tell me...? Whatever, forget it, I don't wanna know. Just shut up" And I'd be like -.- Fine. So here goes.
Ms. Q and I do stupid things at Gust, yeah? No, stupid doesnt even come close to our behavior in that university, we act like babies! You have no clue! We embaress ourselves, like have a quick boob grab for eachother in public -.- Who does that? What kind of normal, well behaved, RATIONAL people do that? Let me mention a few things that happened ONLY today, not even, like the last three hours of uni! We park the car and walk in, nroo7 the bathroom and after, il ma9ala n9alee then head to Subway for sandwiches. We SPECIFICALLY ask the guy what we want, step by step, like it always is at Subway! The dude working there is obviously new, we've never seen him before, at least I havent. That's not the point. Ms. Q memorized my order, so she basically did all teh talking, and we got the exact same thing, minus black olives in her sandwich. (See what I mean by details?) Fa 3ala a5er shay, when we choose the sauces we want, the guy y7i6 3ala keeeifffaaa in both the sandwiches, AFTER saying OUT LOUD which ones we wanted on our sandwiches! Hfft, we let it pass because he's new. So we were like "Can I have... Okay, that. And the one behind the... Not so much please, okay. Okay. Okay, that's enough, okay some more would be fine. That's it. And some... Okay then." And he'd have such a cold face, like dude, are you ears functioning properly?!
Narfaznee! It was a hot day already, any more iritation will just kill me. T3'adeina by the couches, and there's this guy we always, always comment about at Gust. He's sort of a friend of a friend? Sort of. So basically, when we see him, he does stupid things to grab our attention like coughing or talking out loud and saying something completely abnoxious! Even smiling, not even a smile, a smirk! Yes, a smirk! And all we do is either ignore him and look away, or comment about whatever he's doing, he's such a jackass, the team clown. You know? He's a clown, actually, Ms. Q and I call him and his little friend "The Clowns"! ;D Il muhim, kaan ga3ed yamna 9oub il couches on the phone ofcourse, w mna3em 9ouuttaaaa 3al a5er! We were both like WTF? Shfeeh hatha? I KNOW that his voice is not like that, it was sickening ;p W 3aad a7na ma ga9arna, ga6eina athoona! ;$ Ma 3alein, shsawa il 7abeeb? He literally LAID DOWN NSEDA7 3ALA THE COUCH! Ana 9ar feeny... -.- And Ms. Q was laughing so hard, her face went red! We were so ashkara, but do you blame us? It wasn't even like a regular insidi7ing! But like, striking a pose? Chena 3abala someone's gonna take a picture of him? It. Was. Very. Gay and UNATTRACTIVE! :O Wei3 ;p He's funny though.
Shinu ba3ad? Isn't it obvious I'm writing about random things? Oh! I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT WHITE C.! White C. Alla ysalimkum is a guy with us at uni, he's one of the yummies, and believe you me, this guy... Is... A... Yummy! <3 He's just too adorable, and we've always made eye contact, even while I was having that thing with Kk, but it wasnt like I was doing anything wrong, he was just cute! And the biggest thing that ever happened between us was eye contact. So I'm guessing 3adi? Don't judge me. I'm marrying him <3 I wish... Bleh yjanin <3 UNTIL TODAY! Nothing happened until today! Aaaaaah, I died and became alive again because of him! Fucker. So I just arrived at Gust, yeah? Trying to find a parking, and I saw him getting his books out of his car! First, I was all "Yeah, whatever, so what?" So I barely gave him face, lana first I was still driving, so I'ma just be passing by him, barely any eye contact there, second of all, baa6 chabdee 'cause I havent seen him that much the past couple of days at uni. Keify, m3a9ba, I'm like that.
Soooooooo! I pass by, and what does he do? he looks out to see who's driving, and he looked at me, hnee I'm pretending like I don't know how that he exists, then what does he do???????? Ladies and Gentlemen, White C. smiles at me. Yeah, thanks! ;D He smiled, and it wasn't a very direct, straight forward, I'm looking at you and I wanna say hi kind of smile? More like... Should I look away? No she's looking at me behind her glasses, I'm sure, so I'ma smile real quick then tilt my head and continue what I was doing smile. And he gave me the "Should I look away? No she's looking at me behind her glasses, I'm sure, so I'ma smile real quick then tilt my head and continue what I was doing" smile! Woooooyyyyyy <3 Yisti7ee! I know, because he looked at the ground right after, and because I'm such a dumbass, I didn't smile back! Why? Dude, I was in total shock! He knows I'm alive! ;p Walabusshhh! Cute, and then!!! When I pass by again (Not deliberately ofcourse ;$) He smiles again, but this time, a bigger one, still shyness though! I melted ;p I'm such a hooker, but I honestly cannot help myself, he's such a yum.
Ee ba3ad, oh before that, Ms. Q and I were at the Clinic because she wasnt feeling well, I didn't want her going alone so I picked her up and took her! 7ayatee, it was very obvious she was in pain! :( I hope the medication makes you feel better babe! ;* And that's about it, I'ma have to start studying! :( There's just so much to cover in this chapter, God darn Politics -.- I despise the SOB who created it, akreha! But I love out professor! He's hilarious! Everytime I hold the phone in class to see what time it was or if I recieved a msg or whatever, he'd be like "Tmasgeen a97abik now? In class? Is it neccesary?" with an amused smile, and because it's so early in the morning I'd be all... -.- I was seeing what time it was, Sir. Bleh... I love him and his horrible English Accent <3 I hope this quiz goes well! ;D
PS. Ihdaa2, Fz;*
I love when you move like that, shake it from the front to back. Put my hands on your hips, make me wanna kiss them lips. It's the way that you move girl, everything you do girl. It's something that I want and it's you, girl... There's something that I want girl, it's you! <3 I love? Very much so! ;D
Goodnight
N. -Kk
xx
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tell Me That It's Fate Driving Me Insane, Tell Me It's The Real Thing That Keeps Me Hangin' On <3
And once again, mama and I left to go and study somewhere. I don't know what it is, but we just don't feel like hanging around the house and studying there. Madree leish! :O We even lie to the kids and say we're going to seperate places, so they wouldnt doubt us... Evil, I know! Bleh... We love it though, peace and quiet. That's exactly what you need after a long day of work (mama) and Gust (ME)! People at Gust understand, heck everyone at universities understand. Don't y'all? Yes. Anyways, so this time, we decided to go to Scientific Center and study there for a change, maleina min Starbucks! Specially the one in Bidi3 -.- It says "Freak Show" all over it -.- 9ifa6na, w 7azma il mukan!!!! I didnt expect it, we relunctantly got out of the car after grabbing out books and piles oof papers. Ya7leilna <3
*Charges laptop for half an hour 'cause she was too stupid to charge it at home before leaving, while reading her Literature extract thingie*
Half an hour later...
So yeah, oh my Goodness! You're not gonna believe this, there's this couple jidamee! yeah? Kuwaiti w an Asian girl, I'm guessing Pilippino? Akeed. W gathib eedha and the whole shebangbang! :O Look, I swear I have so much respect for foriegners in this country, I wave to the security guards at Gust, and I love Florida, the security lady who sits by the West door. But really, this? I mean, come on... Even my mama, ilee matishamat bil awadem had her eyes boggled 0.o but stayed quiet, did I? Nope, lazim a3ali8, feeny dooda. I'm like "Mama, what diz?" -.- She's all "Ssh mama, la yisme3oun." and gave them her back, lana tadree eventually she'll comment! Haha, don't you love her? <3 Ee, so ana because I'm me, gi3adt asma3 suwalifhum because I had nothing better to do, and this was done mind you, while my laptop was charging. So here goes, I'ma type what I remember from what the Kuwaiti dude said, just focus on the accent, the grammer, the beautiful vocabulary, he obviously studied in the States all his life.
Wait, before I start, I believe he was trying to describe to the Pilippino lady about that day when it was pouring rain, remember? Ilee kaan fee hail and stuff Gabil fatra...
Kuwaiti man *Mishtta6 ilaa a89a il 7udood with hand gestures and the whole jazz*: And then, suddenly rain fall fom sky, because it was black, the clouds. I run to building and wait there until the rain stop after long time. I see everybody running running running very fast to same building! And it raining was so much, it scary me and the whole people! I say ohhhh what dis?? (He said what diz? Ms. Q's word and I -.-) and people say this too much rain.
Asian chick: Oh... Wow... Too much rain... Were you scared?
Kuwaiti man: No no no! I'm a man! I don't scared when it was raining! *Obviously pissed because apparently she touched a soft spot of his manly hood*
Asian chick: Oh... *Bored out of her mind*
And the conversaition goes on about how it was raining that day, and all I could think about was "Seriously, woman. Is it worth it? Is he THAT rich? That you'd give up your single life to be with THE most boring Kuwaiti dude? Hmmm.... I pitty you" ;D Not really? Keifha ;p
Ubey, tara ana wayed a7ish! Sta3'ferellah. Allahuma la shamaata! :O Let it be, I DO NOT care about people, bas they really bring the 7achy for themselves! I can't help it sometimes -.- I'm having hot chocolate from Costa Coffee! It's so good! <3 Mama thinks I'm crazy 'cause it's too sweet and thick, I add sugar and a Flake bar! <3 hence, the crazy thing. Ee, so we studied for a while then left, radeina il beit. A.T called and said he's travelling tomorrow night :( 7mar. I don't want him to? hfft, I'ma have to work hard on changing his mind. But... Mom said me and her might go away this weekend to Dubai for this conference she has. Fa there's no point in trying to convince him to stay! ;p Bas he shouldnt leave before me! We'll see. I'll talk to him later.
Holy shit, I had homework due in online through this website, and for some reason it's not working. Willl the professor believe me? Nope. Why? 'Cause she's a bitch that way -.- Have to wake up at 6.30 AM tomorrow, so I'ma go crash. 7adee day5a and long day! ;/
New week's resolutions:
1- Not giving two shits about guys at our uni, no matter how hot and bootyful they are, not. Gonna. Stare.
2- Gonna try to catch up with my Politics class and do some serious ass kissing to get the A I want.
3- Not gonna look at Kk from now on, not avoid him. But just not look at his direction no matter what.
4- Blehhh... Makoo shay. I'm just blabbering and itfilsifing.
Goodnight
N. -Kk
xx
*Charges laptop for half an hour 'cause she was too stupid to charge it at home before leaving, while reading her Literature extract thingie*
Half an hour later...
So yeah, oh my Goodness! You're not gonna believe this, there's this couple jidamee! yeah? Kuwaiti w an Asian girl, I'm guessing Pilippino? Akeed. W gathib eedha and the whole shebangbang! :O Look, I swear I have so much respect for foriegners in this country, I wave to the security guards at Gust, and I love Florida, the security lady who sits by the West door. But really, this? I mean, come on... Even my mama, ilee matishamat bil awadem had her eyes boggled 0.o but stayed quiet, did I? Nope, lazim a3ali8, feeny dooda. I'm like "Mama, what diz?" -.- She's all "Ssh mama, la yisme3oun." and gave them her back, lana tadree eventually she'll comment! Haha, don't you love her? <3 Ee, so ana because I'm me, gi3adt asma3 suwalifhum because I had nothing better to do, and this was done mind you, while my laptop was charging. So here goes, I'ma type what I remember from what the Kuwaiti dude said, just focus on the accent, the grammer, the beautiful vocabulary, he obviously studied in the States all his life.
Wait, before I start, I believe he was trying to describe to the Pilippino lady about that day when it was pouring rain, remember? Ilee kaan fee hail and stuff Gabil fatra...
Kuwaiti man *Mishtta6 ilaa a89a il 7udood with hand gestures and the whole jazz*: And then, suddenly rain fall fom sky, because it was black, the clouds. I run to building and wait there until the rain stop after long time. I see everybody running running running very fast to same building! And it raining was so much, it scary me and the whole people! I say ohhhh what dis?? (He said what diz? Ms. Q's word and I -.-) and people say this too much rain.
Asian chick: Oh... Wow... Too much rain... Were you scared?
Kuwaiti man: No no no! I'm a man! I don't scared when it was raining! *Obviously pissed because apparently she touched a soft spot of his manly hood*
Asian chick: Oh... *Bored out of her mind*
And the conversaition goes on about how it was raining that day, and all I could think about was "Seriously, woman. Is it worth it? Is he THAT rich? That you'd give up your single life to be with THE most boring Kuwaiti dude? Hmmm.... I pitty you" ;D Not really? Keifha ;p
Ubey, tara ana wayed a7ish! Sta3'ferellah. Allahuma la shamaata! :O Let it be, I DO NOT care about people, bas they really bring the 7achy for themselves! I can't help it sometimes -.- I'm having hot chocolate from Costa Coffee! It's so good! <3 Mama thinks I'm crazy 'cause it's too sweet and thick, I add sugar and a Flake bar! <3 hence, the crazy thing. Ee, so we studied for a while then left, radeina il beit. A.T called and said he's travelling tomorrow night :( 7mar. I don't want him to? hfft, I'ma have to work hard on changing his mind. But... Mom said me and her might go away this weekend to Dubai for this conference she has. Fa there's no point in trying to convince him to stay! ;p Bas he shouldnt leave before me! We'll see. I'll talk to him later.
Holy shit, I had homework due in online through this website, and for some reason it's not working. Willl the professor believe me? Nope. Why? 'Cause she's a bitch that way -.- Have to wake up at 6.30 AM tomorrow, so I'ma go crash. 7adee day5a and long day! ;/
New week's resolutions:
1- Not giving two shits about guys at our uni, no matter how hot and bootyful they are, not. Gonna. Stare.
2- Gonna try to catch up with my Politics class and do some serious ass kissing to get the A I want.
3- Not gonna look at Kk from now on, not avoid him. But just not look at his direction no matter what.
4- Blehhh... Makoo shay. I'm just blabbering and itfilsifing.
Goodnight
N. -Kk
xx
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