Monday, July 20, 2009

Hold Heart, Don't Beat So Loud - Part Ten: You See, Once People Manage To Look Past Your Beautiful Eyes & See The Real You, They'll Burn Your World.

The outing ended at around 9 PM that night. By that time, we were all exhausted and wanted to go straight to bed smelling like sunshine and salt from the water. As soon as I unlocked the door of the house, mamma, my sister and I all went our seperate ways to our bedrooms. First thing I did after closing my door was send Khaled a message saying we arrived home. I haven't talked to him in hours, not since the time he called me when we got to the sailboat; we sent messages to each other along the afternoon and evening, updating eachother about how our day was going but that was all.

"Baby, I just got back home with the family, gonna have a quick shower and head to bed. Call me whenever you're free :*"

Soon after the so called "quick shower", I blow dried my hear very fast and pulled on a pair of pink leggings and a huge white t-shirt that read "Bigger shirts make you feel thinner". Dee brought it for me while visiting her grandparents in Europe and dared me to wear it first day of the following semester. I did. I realised I had a smile on my face as I remembered the different looks of peoples' faces as I passed by them, and Dee's laugh feeling way too embaressed to walk right next to me. "People should NOT know we're best friends!" she said just before walking in the campus. Right then, my phone screamed the loud ringtone, I really should change it I thought as I walked to the foot of my bed. My phone vibrated all the way to teh floor. "Hello?" "Hey gorgeous! Shlounich? No, scratch that question, answer this instead. For the love of God, how many times do you have a shower daily?" Khaled asked. I laughed so hard until I fell on the bed, too lazy to re-adjust my shirt which went half way up my stomach. "Sh7aarik? You're jealous from the water ya3ni? W ba3dein inaas ysalmoon awal ma ydegoon! Not attack with pointless questions!" I defended myself with amusement.

"Moo 3an shay 7ayati intay! Bas ba3aref ya3ni, la tzawajtich fara9'an nabee n3eesh bara and I have to pay for water and electricity bills? I need to know if our house is going to finish the country's water, you know? 3ashan a3aref min al7een ma ayee a6ig baab beitkum!" he replied. Some balls! The guy doesn't wanna marry me because I have too many showers! Humph.

"Tadree shloun?" Nafast for a few moments, acting like a frustrated child and continuing. "Manee raada 3aleik, and fyi, y7a9ilik tilga wa7da mithlee 7ayati. Law tlif idinya kilaha, ma telga Danah thanya! Ya3ni daag tgooly inik ma tabeeny akoon um 3yaalik haa?" I was attacking now. Silence... I don't hear him speaking, not even breathing... "Baby, you there? You didn't hang up, did you?" I whispered, feeling so much shame I over reacted and the poor guy was just goofing around. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 7ayatiiiii intay! Shloun alga wa7da mithlich? Walla law anaagiz min al7een lei isina il yaaya, I'll never find a girl who's remotely close to being as sweet and amazing as you. Fideit ilee y3a9boon" Yeah, he got me.

We stayed over the phone for another 45 minutes or so, until the sleep got the best of me. I excused myself, telling Khaled that I was tired and promised him I'd call him first thing in the morning before saying good night. Soon after, I was in Lala Land.

-----------------

A week later.

"So did mamma tell you?" Rawan asked me over breakfast at Paul in Marina. "Tell me what?" I answered, while playing with the last two pieces of my fruit salad. "Norah's having lunch at our place today, and we're trying to convince her to sleep over! Bas raas'ha yaabis, madri liesh moo raa9'ya! Why don't you try? It might work, you and her are close, at least used to be, but I'm sure you'll manage!" Rawan asked with so much excitement I thought she'd fall off her chair. The moment she mentioned the snake's name, my body shivered. It was like a reflex action, something I just couldn't help. "Really? Weird how mom didn't mention it. But seeing as we haven't been tight lately, I don't think it's my place to ask her to sleep over. Ana shakoo? It's not like I'm gonna be spending my time with her." I shot back. Looking down, I realised that I was holding my fork in a firm grip, I let go slowly and tried to ease the tension in me. "I don't get you Danouh, what happened? You never told me why you suddenly have this much hate for a girl who was once a really close friend! I mean, what, did she harm in any way? Did she say or do something? Did she-" I cut Rawan off before she could continue asking me endless questions with one hand gesture - asking for the waiter to bring the check. Rawan knew that by not answering, I didn't want to talk about Norah any further, so she respected my wish and changed the subject into a lighter one. "Up for shopping babeeeehhh?" She asked, I laughed at her cuteness, and arms entwined we colonised one shop after another.

The day went on smoothly, I didn't think about Norah as much as I thought I would. I tried limiting her as much as possible, not allowing her to ruin the time I had with my sister. After all, we rarely find the time to go out on our own because of her work and my university.

By 7 PM, I heard the door bell ring from my room, and I knew who was standing at the other side of the door. The snake. I was on the phone with Dee planning our next day together, I told her that Norah was sleeping over after Rawan pleaded her to. Dee laughed hysterically as I started praying to God that this night would pass by without blood shredded all over the house. I hung up after saying that I'd call her later on tonight and update her on how the night was going, and headed to the closet. I pulled out a simple lime green dress from its hanger and wore it, taking my time, wishing that she didn't come. What's the point? I'll just go down to say my hello and come back usptairs, I'm not obligated to sit and have polite conversations with someone I loath. Matter of fact, why don't I make an excuse to leave the house? Yes, I'll say that I'm going to Dee's place. Perfect. I grab my hand bag after throwing in my wallet, car keys, and all the other essentials, and go downstairs.

The closer I reach the ground floor, the louder her voice practically screams in my head. It's all a part of my imagination, the things this bitch can do to destroy me... God, I hate her. "Danah! Come say hi to Norah, she just walked in!" My mother called out just as I walked into the living room. There she was. Wearing a navey blue strapless top and white jeans with hooker heals. Ya3ni la thou8 wala jisim wala sha59iya wala galb. LIESH MA TIBLI3EEN TALVIZYOUN SHA3'AAL W TGI6EEN NAFSICH BIL BA7AR W TA3'RIGEEN YAL 7AYAA? Blehh... She's not worth me screaming out those words to her. I simply pull off the act by walking towards her, and flinging my arms around Norah holding her steady and saying how much I'm happy that she's sleeping over. Mamma and Rawan are happy to see me doing that, but I could feel Norah getting more stiff by the second and I start to hear her steady breathing become not as steady anymore. I smile before I let go of her. As we're facing eachother, I read her expression, I know this girl way to well. "Please don't make a scene right now, make this night just go by without anything wrong." That's what her face was saying. But I knew her tactics even more, she wanted war. My smile grew wider, I'll give her war.

A moment later, I excuse myself after explaining the "plans" I had with Dee, emphasizing on the word "best friend" where I felt Norah flinch and turn away losing eye contact with me and nibbling in her cheese cake Rawan made.

"Meet me at our place? I need you..." I sent Khaled a message.

1 New Message: Khaled Al M.

"I'm leaving the house right now, baby."

Just what I need.

I turn the ignition on, and as the car heated, my body did too. I'm gonna have to confront Norah about all of it tonight, when I'm back. Everything. I want to understand everything, maybe there's something I understood wrong? No. No, I saw her. I saw all of it. Tonight. Flash backs of that night started to emerge in my mind for the millionth time. And for a few minutes, I couldn't drive from the shivering...

P.S. I haven't posted in so long, no wait.. *Checks the date of last post* May the 15th! Wow. Thing is, it's not like I've been busy, 3adi. Just didn't feel like it? Madri, and now ana feels like it, enjoy.

To Ms. Q. ;*